Yesterday, I watched an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" where Frank (Danny DeVito) wears a hospital gown while performing a three-sixty spin. As if from a sign above, I was inspired to write my Top 5 Actors I Never Wanted to See Naked list. I also wanted to give you all something to comment about. It is the last day to comment for March's Thanks for Writing contest, so let me know which celebs you could have done without seeing in the nude.
Jack Nicholson in Something's Gotta Give: Who expected nudity in a Nicholson/Keaton PG-13 rom-com? That's like renting The Odd Couple II expecting to see Walter Matthau's junk. But anyone unfortunate enough to buy a ticket for Gotta Give, received an unwelcome flash of elderly flesh. Jack Nicholson's butt definitely earned its spot on this list. Although, in retrospect, the film's nude scene is way less offensive than the picture I just posted. Whoops.
Willem Dafoe in Antichrist: I'm not alone on this one, am I? Did the Green Goblin make anyone's Nudity Wish List? If he was on yours, then Lars Von Trier has made a movie for you! While the cinematography is beautiful, the content is less than. And the quantity! Oh Lord, the quantity! This isn't a brief scene, partially hidden by shadow or anything, from what I haven't mentally blocked, he's naked through the whole movie.
Glenn Close in The Big Chill: This picture still gives me chills. There's nothing about this I enjoy. Strike One: It's Glenn Close. Strike Two: She's naked. Strike Three: She's CRYING! I wholly understand that this scene wasn't supposed to be erotic but did the director really have to try and ruin any future erotic moments to come? I consider this scene to be a hostile act towards sexuality of any kind.