Why Did I Get Married Too? (April 2nd): Oh, Tyler Perry. I made it through the first Why Did I Get Married? without complaints. But then you give me this trailer, as if to say "Oh yeah? Well you won't make it through this!" But I'll see it...just like I see all of your movies. But for my readers, I'm taking the bullet. Don't see this until I give the word that it's safe. In fact, just don't see this movie. People shouldn't deserve to be paid for making trash.
Date Night (April 9th): Three stages of Date Night: 1. Excitement! Hearing the news that Tina Fey and Steve Carrell are starring in a film together! 2. Disappointment... Seeing the trailer and knowing that the movie's a rush-job shoved together in between seasons of their respective shows. 3. Denial. Paying top-dollar to the theater (a.k.a. your dealer) even though you know it's going to hurt you.
Death at a Funeral (April 16th): Won't see this until I see the original. From what I've heard, it's pretty incredible. I've also heard that it's pretty "crummsucky" (new word) that they're remaking it so soon. And even through the trailer does its best to make this look terrible, I trust Neil LaBute. This one could surprise us.
Kick-Ass (April 16th): A red band trailer wasn't enough to convince me that this won't suck. Even seeing Nic Cage shoot a little girl failed to peaked my interest. So if neither of those worked, why do the studios feel that should continue to shove the regular PG-13 trailer down my throat every time I turn around? Kick-Ass annoys me.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (April 21st): If you couldn't tell by now, April is much worse than March. And while this movie has a "should-have-gone-straight-to-DVD" feel to it, I'm not entirely convinced. The cast is phenomenal (Michael Douglas, Charlie Sheen, Martin Sheen, Josh Brolin, Susan Sarandon, FRANK LANGELLA, Shia LeBeouf, and my new love, Carey Mulligan) and Oliver Stone is back in the director's chair. This will be one of the shining lights in the dark month of April.
The Back-Up Plan (April 23rd): Modern-day romance at its best. A woman has a sperm bank knock her up only to meet the man of her dreams right after. What is J.Lo to do? "Hilarity" ensues, I'm sure and I'm pretty sure I've seen this before. But one element stands out. Two words: Tom Bosley. Sure, that's probably more words than he'll have in the movie but Mr. Cunningham is guaranteed to make any drizzly rom-com more bearable. This doesn't look to be the worst movie Lopez has ever been in but part of me is still waiting for a sequel called The Back-Up Planner.
The Losers (April 23rd): Graphic novel adaptation follows a special ops team as they're betrayed and hunted down. Okay. Fine. Ho-hum. Jeffery Dean Morgan (or JDM, as I never call him) is talented as is his co-star Idris Elba. I'll see it...but it might be on a Redbox disc rather than a 35mm film reel.
MacGruber (April 23rd): Way to take a 30-second sketch with one joke and stretch it out into a 90-minute sketch with one joke. On the SNL Movies scale, mark McGruber up closer to Stuart Saves His Family rather than Wayne's World.
Furry Vengeance (April 30th): You've got to be f-ing kidding me. Brendan Fraser vs. a bunch of forest animals angry that their homes are being torn down. Some exec said "let's make a GREEN movie" in an attempt to cash in and this is the best they came up with. This makes Daddy Day Camp look like Through a Glass Darkly.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (April 30th): EEEEEEE! The trailer doesn't look that bad! I don't love the lack of personality in Freddie's new face (he looks like a Putty from "Power Rangers") but overall, this could be an damn good fright flick. What I don't understand is why studios don't release their horror movies in October when everyone's monster-minded anyway. it seems that every Halloween, the only scary movie in theaters is the latest Saw installment. Anyone have any input on this?