Raped by the Special Edition Gremlins

10th Anniversary Special Features:

*The Show: An in-depth look back at Sports Night with creator/writer Aaron Sorkin, directors Thomas Schlamme and Robert Berlinger, cast members Felicity Huffman, Peter Krause, Josh Charles, Joshua Malina, and Robert Guillaume, Emmy(r) award-winning editor Janet Ashikaga, Emmy(r) award-winning director of photography Peter Smokler, producer John Amodeo, and set designer Thomas Azzari. Includes never-before-seen behind-the-scenes home movies shot by John Amodeo.

*Face Off: ESPN's SportsCenter vs. CSC's Sports Night - Sports Night's real-life ESPN counterparts discuss what the series got right and wrong.

*A Conversation with Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme

*Inside The Locker Room - A look at the innovations of Sports Night with Aaron Sorkin, Thomas Schlamme, Robert Berlinger, Janet Ashikaga, Peter Smokler, John Amodeo, and Thomas Azzari.

*Season Gag Reels

*8 Episode Commentaries including creator/writer Aaron Sorkin, director/executive producer Thomas Schlamme, director Robert Berlinger, editor Janet Ashikaga, and cast members Peter Krause, Josh Charles, Joshua Malina, Sabrina Lloyd, Greg Baker, Kayla Blake, Timothy Davis-Reed, and Ron Ostrow.

*Original Promos

*36-Page Booklet including an introduction by creator Aaron Sorkin

Damn.

Cast Your Friends: Deliverance (1972)

Do you ever cast your friends in the movies you watch? Anytime there's a group of guys hanging out, that's when my friends' faces start popping up on screen. Apparently, my friends and I have such specific personality types, all so different from one another, that Hollywood producers use us for models of male friendship.

My friends Taylor, Brad, Ryan, and I make up our core group. Taylor gets cast as the smart guy who always speaks as the voice of reason. You know, the one most likely to survive. Brad plays the manly-man who'll punch a bird out of the sky if he's hungry. Ryan's the cool, quiet guy whose funeral the rest of the group reunite to attend. I swear, Ryan's character almost always dies within the first fifteen minutes.

I'm the clown, the one who keeps everyone's spirits up...sometimes at the expense of the group's safety. Taylor's character tells me to stop fooling around, Brad's character threatens to stab me with the spear he's just carved out of a pine tree, and Ryan...well, he doesn't say anything; he's dead.

Usually these movies are comedies, sometimes light dramas, Edward Burns' filmography comes to mind. So does Without a Paddle, sadly. Apparently everyone else got the memo to wait for a DVD release, as I was completely alone in the theatre. Anyway, last night, I watched Deliverance. I know what you're thinking. Please don't tell me you cast your friends in Deliverance. Well, I couldn't help it.



For those of you unfamiliar with Deliverance, here's a quick synopsis. A group of friends decide to take a canoe trip down the Cahulawassee River before a dam is put into place which will turn it into a giant lake. Along the way, a group of toothless rednecks decide to terrorize them.

Here's a breakdown of the main characters. Jon Voight plays the heroic everyman. When placed into a crazy situation, he rises to the occasion and kicks some major ass. Unlike other "Ryan" characters, he actually lives past the first fifteen minutes. Burt Reynolds, seen here without a mustache, is the manly-man who takes out anything from halibut to hillbillies with his bow and arrow. He's the "Brad" character.

The "Taylor" character is played by Ronny Cox. He's the guy who's way too intelligent to be rafting down Georgian rivers with overall-wearing rednecks hiding in the bushes. Ned Beatty plays the "Me" character. He whines at the first sight of outdooriness and would rather just hang out at home than float down white-water rapids in an aluminum gravy boat.

Everything's going fine. Then I get raped.



You clicked on that link, didn't you? Well, either way, this movie gets pretty crazy for a mainstream thriller from the early 70s. It's nothing compared to the gruesomeness and gag-reflex inspiring antics of Last House on the Left or I Spit on Your Grave but it's an attention-grabber throughout.

One of the strongest points the film makes is not to generalize all people from the South as backwood booty burglars and to point out that Southern hospitality still exists even when chubby, curly-haired guys get molested amidst God's wilderness. Bastards.

What I learned last night was that while casting your buddies in a movie might seem fun, sometimes people get hurt...anally. Let's keep the casting up to the professionals, shall we?

Say Anything - Dads in Media Blog-a-thon

Sunday marks the 100th Father's Day celebrated in the U.S. In honor of fathers everywhere, RC, over at Strange Culture, is hosting a "Dads in Media" blog-a-thon! That's right folks, a blog-a-thon.

Two movie dads jumped out at me right away. The first was Armand Goldman (Robin Williams) from The Birdcage. The second was John Court (John Mahoney) from Say Anything. Each of these could easily be found in my Top Twenty Movies lists but which one is the most blog worthy dad?

The first pretends to be heterosexual just to impress his son's Republican in-laws-to-be. The second scams money from nursing home residents in order to provide for his studious daughter. I've decided to write about John Court. Armand has a large support system backing him up but John is all on his own. Also, Say Anything develops the parent/child relationship a lot more than The Birdcage.

I recently saw Say Anything at San Francisco's greatest movie house, The Castro Theatre. Every couple months, this rad dude named Jesse Hawthorne puts on MIDNITES FOR MANIACS. Jesse's "Bringin' on the Heartbreak" Midnight Triple Feature featured Lucas, My Bloody Valentine, and this 1989 Cameron Crowe love story. Hopefully, you've all seen this by now and share my opinions on it. If you haven't seen Say Anything then you make Barbara Bush cry. You can bet I don't have proof of that.

* The first thing everyone thinks about when they think of Say Anything is how gorgeous John Cusack is.
* The second thing they think about is how he just might be the male version of Diane Lane...at least in gorgeousness.
* The third thing they think about is "I don't think either of those two things are true. Scott shouldn't speak for everyone like that."
* The fourth thing I think about is how Must Love Dogs should have been better.
* The fifth thing some people think about might be, "wow, what an awesome dad."

["What the hell is he talking about?"]

Single dad. Widower. Victim of an IRS Tax Audit. John is trying his best.

Dads get a bad rap. I come from a house where "The Simpsons" was off-limits. Other kids couldn't watch it because of the crudeness or the language but we couldn't watch because Homer was painted to be a bad dad. John Court is painted to be a good dad. He's funny, he's loving, and he'll do anything for his daughter, even if it lands him behind bars. John goes to jail because he loves his daughter too much...wait a second... that sounded wrong.

Let's start over. A single father. A widower. John tries to give Diane everything she wants. As it turns out, the only thing she wants is knowledge. Accepted to a top school in Europe, Diane has a couple months before she's off to begin the rest of her life. John's supportive and that's awesome. He's sad to see her leave, but he's more happy to see her succeed.

Enter Lloyd Dobler. A recent high school graduate, Lloyd plans on jumping into this crazy new sport called "kickboxing." He seems to be on the fast track to nowhere and he wants desperately to date John's daughter. John has him over for dinner where Lloyd makes a fool of himself, yet somehow, Diane still seems to be interested. She begins to spend more and more time with Lloyd and less and less time with her dad.

John handles things pretty well considering the circumstances. Diane's not going to be around for much longer. Lloyd doesn't appear to be a dream son-in-law. The amount of time he gets to spend with his daughter/best friend is getting shorter and shorter. He's getting pushed out of her life. If you asked me, I'd say he handled things pretty damn well.

Dads everywhere! Learn from John Court's example. Treat your children like adults and they will act like adults. Diane make her own decisions, and John supports her. Seems pretty simple doesn't it? Well, what about when the kid does something you don't like?

When Diane goes out to a party, she calls. When she's stuck on a life decision, she asks her dad about it. When she tells him that she just slept with Lloyd ...wait for it... he reacts calmly. Woah, maybe this is where that "movie magic" comes into play.



Quiz time!

Question #1: Your daughter comes home early one morning. She hasn't called. You've been up all night worrying. She tells you that she just slept with some wannabe Karate Kid in the backseat of her car. What do you do?

Do you: A. punch her square in the face? B. talk openly and calmly with your daughter, giving her any support she might need? C. ignore the problem, "America's Got Talent" is on.

If you answered "A," seek counseling. If you answered "B," you're either a liar or a better parent than I'll ever be. Shame on you or congratulations. If you answered "C," then did you see last week when that old lady tap danced like she was in a David Lynch movie? Scary, huh? Also, you kid just snuck out the window.



As great as John is, he's no angel. As most of you know, John is a CRIMINAL! He's supportive of his daughter but he supports her with STOLEN MONEY! Working at an old folks home provides plenty of opportunities for making that long paper. Elderly people = Easy payday. Okay, so John likes to help out old people in exchange for money that should rightfully go to their loved ones. But he IS their loved ones. When people don't come to visit their forgotten family members, they should have to forfeit all death profits. Forgetting Grandpa = Forget about that 20 Grand. Too bad the IRS doesn't see it that way.

In the second to last scene, we find John donning an orange jumpsuit. He got caught big time. Summer's over and Diane's off to Europe. How does she repay her dad for all the sacrifices he made to keep food on the table and $9,000 jukeboxes on the table? She sends her boyfriend and a letter. Enter Lloyd Dobler. In one of the most captivating scenes of the entire movie, John goes off on Lloyd, yelling "I don't deserve to lose my daughter!" Apparently, fraud was one of Diane's hot buttons. In a bittersweet ending, Diane and Lloyd take off into the air and far away from her dad.

John Court is a great dad. He does what he has to do to get by. Too bad hurting families (including his own), stealing money, and cheating the government was what he had to do. I wonder what he'll have to do to get by in prison. Yikes. Kids, don't let the bad outweigh the good. Diane quickly forgets how her dad listened, comforted, advised, provided, joked, loved her, and so much more. If there's a moral to be taken away from Say Anything it's that you are going to leave your dad to be beaten and raped in jail while you and your slacker boyfriend go live in Europe...say "goodbye" first. Happy Father's Day.

Here's something for the Google Searchers. Enjoy!

Download: Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes (Say Anything Soundtrack) (zShare)

Download: Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes (Say Anything Soundtrack) (Rapidshare)

I Spit on Your Grave

This was not my pick. Whitney over at Dear Jesus thought that the most romantic way to spend this evening would be to watch a couple of rape revenge movies and clog the toilet for six hours.

As a part of our Top 5 Movies We Don't Want to Watch Marathon Whitney and I each chose five movies that we've said (on more than one occasion) that we would never watch. We each picked a rape revenge movie from the '70s, mine was The Last House on the Left and she picked the one we watched tonight.

Whitney picked a gem with this one. I Spit on Your Grave. This film spit in my face. Roger Ebert called it a "vile bag of garbage." I called it a "vile bag of garbage." He said it first.


Jokes aside, this movie is disgusting. A woman is viciously attacked by psychopaths (who come off more like a bunch of bored yokels than actual crazy people) because she's sexual. Her greatest crime, according to the group's ringleader, was lying around at the lake in a swimsuit and answering her door without wearing a bra. It's a crime when Jean Stapleton does it, not when Buster Keaton's grandniece does it.

In forty-five of the most disturbing minutes I've ever sat through, Jennifer is attacked and held down by four men. One of the men rapes her and taunts the others to join in. Following the attack, the film doesn't fade to black like you might expect it to. The bruised, battered, and bloody woman struggles to her feet and walks through the woods.

We follow her as she trips and stumbles around until she eventually finds a man playing the harmonica. Our stomachs churn as the potential rescuer turns out to be one of her assailants. They rape her again. She fights to crawl back to her house. They're waiting for her in the house! They rape her again. Not knowing anything about this movie, I never expected to see anything like this. Jennifer, lying naked, blood-soaked, and unconscious, is left for dead.



Rape scenes are always tough to watch, but until tonight, the worst I had seen landed in the R-rated Death Wish realm. Death Wish was like that sneezing panda video compared to I Spit on Scott's Face. I knew very little about this movie before watching it. I knew it was a rape revenge movie and that it was supposed to be pretty rough. Well, I was correct on both counts. This movie features a woman being raped three times in less than an hour. What?

The second half of the movie follows Jennifer as she gets her revenge on her attackers. Some people have argued that the film is pro-women. It shows a woman getting revenge on those who wronged her and so on and so forth. I can see how a film like Ms. 45 might have that argument made for it, although I think it'd be a weak argument. I Spit on Your Grave is not pro-women, at least by any definition I subscribe to.

Los Angeles New Times critic, Luke Y. Thompson makes a compelling argument against those who claim the I Spit on Your Grave isn't as anti-women as Roger Ebert would make it seem. He states, "Defenders of the film have argued that it's actually pro-woman, due to the fact that the female lead wins in the end, which is sort of like saying that cockfights are pro-rooster because there's always one left standing." I couldn't agree more. For almost an hour, we watch Jennifer get graphically beaten and raped, to the point where you wish it would seem unbelievable but somehow that relief never comes.

Whitney and I's opinions differed when it came to Matthew, one of the attacker characters. Clearly mentally challenged, Johnny hangs out with this group of rednecks and throughout the film he is pressured to beat, rape, and kill Jennifer.

My main problem with Matthew's character is the sense of comedy he brings to the film. Now, Matthew's not funny, but his actions are specifically comedic. From the way he swigs his alcohol before he rapes Jennifer to the dance he does as he's taking off his clothes, Matthew serves as a distraction from the atrocities that are taking place. The film becomes less effective, at least from a pro-women standpoint, each time the viewer is taken out of the horror that the story hold. For every second that we are tempted to chuckle at his actions, the viewer is brought that much further from grasping the realistic terror that is being depicted.

Matthew's character is proof enough for me that the director did not have a single pro-woman thought running through his head while making this movie. Whitney and I discussed whether the problems were found on a script level or in the actor's performance and I'm lead to believe that it's most likely both. Richard Pace's performance is extremely campy while the rest of the performances are eerily not. He's just one part of this movie that didn't sit well with me but I don't want this to turn into a rant so I'm ending it here.

I Spit on Your Grave was worse than I thought it was going to be in that there were three times the amount of rapes as I would have guessed. As far as being a well-made film, it's really not as terrible as you'd think. The absence of any type of non-diegetic score really worked for instilling an overall creepiness. The look of the film is on par with a lot of other films of that time, surprisingly well shot. The sound needed work but not as much as the script. In the end, I went in striving to give this one a fair chance and that's what it received. What I received was a movie experience like none I had ever had before, good or bad, at least it's something.

Top 5 Movies I Don't Ever Want to Watch

You can't watch everything. But why would you want to?

I own over 1,000 DVDs and they range from Criterion Collection selections to dollar bin Amoeba movies. The pride of my collection is an Old Boy Three Disc Ultimate Collector's Edition which has TONS of special features, a cool tin case, an original 35mm film cell, and a 200-page graphic novel. One of my hidden shames is that I own a copy of Vin Diesel's The Pacifier which I bought for $1.00 from the aforementioned Amoeba mecca.

My point is that I'll watch all sorts of movies ranging from classics to the bottom of the barrel. But there are certain movies I've never seen and never want to see...ever. Over the years, I've built these movies up to be the least desirable movies ever made. Whether they star an actor I can't stand or they just look plain awful, these movies were deemed "unwatchable," my cinematic kryptonite. Well, I'm going to watch them. All of them. Then I'm going to tell you if I was right or not. I'd bet that I'm right.

Whitney over at Dear Jesus is joining in on this torture. Once she makes her list, it's on! We're watching all ten movies together and if we survive, then we'll post on each other's blogs and tell you what we went through. Now then, on to the list!

The Top 5 Movies I Don't Ever Want to Watch (but am going to anyway...) List:

1. The "I Hate That Guy" Movie
The Gingerdead Man starring Gary Busey

I hate Gary Busey. Period. If he's in a movie I immediately try to find something else to watch. It's the craziness that he tries to shove on everyone. I really doubt he's as crazy as he makes him self out to be. If he actually is that crazy then he should be more interesting when someone's filming him. Thankfully, I haven't had to watch his chattering horseteeth gnaw through any scenery since an episode of "Entourage" a couple years ago.

A few months ago, I made an unexpected trip to Blockbuster because Netflix was taking too long to get me my Sopranos DVDs and that's when I spotted this cinematic abortion. The Gingerdead Man starring Gary Busey. I shuddered at the current state of independent film and made a mental note to never, ever, ever, watch this movie.

My predictions: If Gary Busey stars as the Gingerdead Man then maybe this movie will be more tolerable. I'd rather watch a badly animated cookie monster (not the Cookie Monster) than Busey failing to get out of that paper bag he's acting in. If Busey's role requires him to act like a human then it's going to be a long seventy minutes.

2. The "That Looks Boring as Hell" Movie
Pride and Prejudice - The A&E Five Hour Long Miniseries

I just can't see how this is going to be bearable. Granted, I like Colin Firth in movies like Love, Actually but it's not Mr. Firth that I'm anticipating having a problem with. I have a problem with the fact that it's five hours long, set in 19th century England, and features dialogue such as this:

You're mistaken, Mr. Darcy. The mode of your declaration merely spared me any concern I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner. You could not have made me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it. From the very beginning your manners impressed me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit and your selfish disdain for the feelings of others. I had not known you a month before I felt you were the last man in the world whom I could ever marry!

Victorian England movies are the cinematic equivalent to waterboarding. Buggies, bonnets, and Bennets are not my ideal content for a kick-ass Saturday afternoon. They don't even suit me for a Thursday's early evening. I'm not going to say that there aren't any good movies set in Victorian England, I know better than that. I will say, however, that I don't want to watch them. Some people don't like Pauly Shore and Bobcat Goldthwait, I don't like big white wigs and 1800s courtship narratives.

My prediction: I'm going to hate my life for the five hours I'm watching this and for the two hours beforehand where I'm trying to convince myself to actually go through with it. Should make for an interesting post.

3. The "I'm Morally Opposed to this" Movie
Last House on the Left

Rape revenge movies. Um... I don't know why but these aren't usually my cup of tea. I don't know a whole lot about this movie other than who directed it and the general premise. Not ever seeing that premise play out visually was fine by me. I remember Roger Ebert tried to convince theaters not to book either this film or I Spit on Your Grave because it was absolute garbage. Double feature, anyone?

My prediction: I'm a fan of Wes Craven's work, People Under the Stairs, especially. I have this little inkling of faith that this movie won't be as gut-wrenchingly vile as I've made it out to be. This is the one I'm looking forward to the least. It'll probably turn out to be my favorite. If anything, I probably won't be bored.

4. The "Everyone Told Me This Sucked" Movie
Swept Away
Runners Up: From Justin to Kelly/Gigli/Glitter/Catwoman

This is the movie that ended Guy Ritchie's career! The man that made Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels was brought down by a remake of Lina Wertmuller's 1974 film, "Travolti da un Insolito Destino Nell'azzurro Mare D'agosto," which won the He Shot Cyrus award for "Best Movie Title I've Heard Today." The movie stars his wife, some lady named "Madonna" who I heard used to be singer.

Here's how this movie beat out it's competition: Kelly Clarkson is hot. Jennifer Lopez is hot. Mariah Carey is hot. Halle Berry is hot. Madonna is not hot. In a long list of awful movies, the one with the least redeeming factors wins. That movie is Swept Away. I swore I would never watch it because I really doubted that it would be one of those "so bad, it's good" movies. To be honest, it just looked like a waste of time. I guess the time has come where I have nothing better to do with my time than waste it.

My prediction: It won't be as a bad as everyone say it is. I have no idea what the movie's about but I have a feeling that I won't be hating my life like with some of these other movies. Two hours to eat popcorn and wonder if Swept Away is also the reason why Jason Statham doesn't make good movies anymore.

5. The "So-Called Classic That Doesn't Appeal to Me on Any Level" Movie
Eraserhead

I'll be the first to tell you that I'm not David Lynch's biggest supporter. If he ran for President, I'd vote for Peter Bagdonovich instead. But not Roman Polanski. I'm a firm believer that a U.S. President should be allowed to set foot on U.S. soil.

After a few viewings of Blue Velvet and more than a few "ugly" feelings, I began to enjoy it. I wouldn't watch it all the time, but I wouldn't object to someone throwing it in if the mood stuck them. Mulholland Dr. was as confusing as Nick Nolte's mugshot. It's been on my list to watch again but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

Even with my mixed feelings towards his other films, David Lynch isn't the reason I don't want to see Eraserhead. Back when I was a young fellow attending a small high school in rural Central California, I had a friend who always knew about the weirdest music and movies. This kid introduced me to: David Bowie, GWAR, Insane Clown Posse, Peter Jackson's Meet the Feebles, Videodrome, and so-called "noise composure." Eraserhead was another film that he told me about. This one, he said, was different. The phrase I always remember him saying is "Don't watch this if you ever want to have kids." I don't know what he meant by this but I was never very curious to find out.

Since High School, tons of people have told me to watch Eraserhead. Apparently, everyone and their grandfather loves this freakin' movie. It got to the point that I started lying to people--telling them I had seen it and that it was "really weird" so that they would leave me alone, haha. They would all agree that while it was "really weird" that it was also a masterpiece. I would agree with them and then change the subject to anything else. It's time to see what they've all been talking about. Once and for all, I am going to be able to say that, "Yes, I have seen Eraserhead and this is what I think of it" without fear of my nose growing.

My prediction: I'm scared that this one's been too overhyped and that it won't live up to my expectations. That being said, I'm open to liking Eraserhead. I'm open to loving Eraserhead. Now that I'm more familiar with Lynch's work I'm pretty sure that I'll be pretty receptive to Eraserhead. I'd also bet that my opinion on bearing offspring won't change that much.

Note: The third Lord of the Rings movie almost made my list but that's a thought for another day.

That's the list! PLEASE, drop a comment in the box with your thoughts on this list. Also, I want to know your lists too. I'm really interesting in finding out which movies you'll never watch. Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll question and thanks to everyone who's been leaving me comments and feedback lately.

Death Wish

[MCMLXXIV...what a great year for movies.]

1974 saw the release of some of the most respectable pieces of cinematic art this side of Steamboat Bill Jr. Francis Ford Coppola directed The Godfather II, Paramount released Roman Polanski's neo-noir Chinatown. Two of the most awe-inspiring disaster movies, The Towering Inferno and Earthquake entered the entered the Top 10 Highest-Grossing films of the year. Along with all these pre-blockbusters, several future cult classics found their way into various movie houses and drive-ins. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and John Carpenter's directorial debut Dark Star both did just that in 1976. Somewhere in the middle of all these great flicks was Michael Winner's Death Wish, the story of a vigilante husband and father on a mission of revenge.

[Here we find Charles Bronson, perplexed by the new Ghostface Killah album.]

Charles Bronson plays Paul Kersey, a role originally intended for Steve McQueen. To start things off, I've got to let you know, this movie is crazy. Okay, it's not Ichi, the Killer crazy or Audition crazy, but back in the 1970s, the American people weren't ready for this one. Critics panned Death Wish because they believed it promoted vigilantism. The film's plot circles around an upper-class New York family who suffers an unspeakable tragedy at the hands of this man and his friends:

[Long before he was pushing iMacs, Goldblum was best known for his Old-Lady Sleeper Holds.]

A rough group of hoods, the head gangster (Jeff Goldblum), some big ol' skinhead, and a graffiti artist named "Spraycan"viciously attack Kersey's wife and daughter. This scene is really rough. Basically, the bad guys stalk the two women back to their house in order to rob them. When all they have is seven dollars between them, they decide to beat the mother and rape the daughter. The scene is pretty graphic and hard to stomach. Goldblum, in his acting debut, screams "Goddamn rich cunts! Cunts! I kill rich cunts!" as he repeatedly punches the woman in the face.

Some bad-acting comedy accidentally makes it's way on-screen as Spraycan coats the curtains with orange paint, over and over again. When he tries to tag their walls, all he can come up with is a sloppy swastika and an orange scribble line that looks like a a child's rendition of a Richard Scarry worm. In the end, Kersey's wife is murdered by the thugs. His daughter goes into a comatose condition, unable to speak or move on her own.

[Who wouldn't have faith in this police force? You've got The Ghost of Christmas Dinner and a comedy God fighting crime for you, what else can you ask for?]

Now, if someone killed my wife and raped my daughter, the first people I would call might not be the police. Granted, my opinion changed a little after watching Death Wish. The cops aren't any help. They can't follow any leads. They can't nail down any evidence. They hide the facts from the victims and the public. Even when they realize that Kersey has taken the law into his own hands, they just seem to look the other way.

This movie makes me want to shoot people. No, seriously. If there's one thing that Charles Bronson does well, he makes shooting people look easy. Every time someone's got a problem with him, he whips out his pistol, and BAM..., in the words of Ice Cube, "...another sucker dead."

[What happens when three muggers attack Charles Bronson in an alleyway?]

The last hour of the film is a series of muggings that Kersey purposely gets himself into. He walks around bad neighborhoods, practically with hundred dollar bills sticking out of his pockets, just asking for some young punk to mess with him. What does he do when someone finally takes the bait, well, I think the pictures explain it all.

I agree with the critics that claimed that the film promoted taking the law into your hands. It clearly does. Over and over again. Death Wish has its exciting moments but by the end of the film, they've gotten pretty repetitive. I specifically checked this movie out to do a He Shot Cyrus write-up. I can't say I was disappointed with the movie, I think it was a pretty rad working of the vigilante storyline. Ever since I was little, I had constantly seen previews for this on Telemundo or Galavision. Apparently, this movie is huge among Spanish-speaking audiences. I remember when I used to work at Hollywood Video, this got rented all the time. The only one that was rented more than Death Wish was Blood In, Blood Out, which I recently watched out of curiosity. It didn't deserve it's own post.

[Charles Bronson shoots them.]

Here's the trailer for the movie, along with the trailers for it's four sequels! That's right, there are a total of five Death Wish movies. I would sometimes see previews for the second and third movies, but until I looked it up tonight, I had no idea that four subsequent movies could be made from this plot. From the look of the trailers, they only get better and better as the years went on.

Death Wish

Death Wish 2


Death Wish 3


Death Wish 4: The Crackdown


Death Wish 5: The Face of Death

Here's a recap on the basic plot advances of the last 60 minutes of Death Wish.

[What happens when knife-wielding hoodlums try to rob Charles Bronson in a subway station?]

[Charles Bronson shoots them too.]

[What happens when Freddie "Boom-Boom" Washington/Richard "Cochise" Morris tries to attack Charles Bronson in the park?]

[Charles Bronson shoots Freddie "Boom-Boom" Washington/Richard "Cochise" Morris.]

This may not have been the best movie to come out in 1976, but it definitely into the category of "entertaining." There are more than two handfuls of really cool scene, and not just ones where Charles Bronson shoots muggers. One of the most impressive parts of the movie is how Bronson's character changes through out the story. He begins as a family man, the everyman, in a sense.

As the film progresses, his mind changes. I'm not talking about his opinions or anything, I'm talking about the entire way his mind works. His inherent motives and goals are radically altered and Bronson captures each stage of the transformation with clarity. The most interesting part of the plot is how, even at the end, Kersey never becomes a monster. Even during his times of chaos, he remains what he started as: a man.

Even with the film's unevenness, there's enough redeemable elements that make it work watching. Among these elements is, first and foremost, the film's score. Herbie Hancock, the genius that created the song "Rockit," the first mainstream song to feature the turntable scratch. I've included an MP3 of the Death Wish theme for you guys. Hope you enjoy it.

[And what happens if you try to shoot Charles Bronson while tries to peek up a woman's skirt? That's right, Charles Bronson shoots YOU!]

Herbie Hancock - Death Wish Theme (MP3)
Download (Rapidshare)

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Until next week, or maybe a little longer thanks to the craziest finals I've ever had, let me know what you think of Death Wish and my blog so far. If you have any ideas on how to improve it, then drop me a line. I'll have a new poll question for you soon. Here's the results of last week's question: C. Thomas Howell received the most votes as to which Outsider is the easiest to beat up.

Rob Lowe came in right after him and there wasn't any Outsider who seemed to be untouchable, even Macchio who received two votes. I want to know who said they could beat up The Karate Kid. He'll put you in a body bag quicker than you can say "Glory of Love."

Most importantly, thanks to RC, Matt, Usesoapfilm, Natsukashi, Brian, Jonny, Taylor, and Whitney for leaving comments on my Top 5 Movie Rumbles list. They were awesome. Thanks a lot.