He Shot Cyrus is giving back to our readers. We're doing so with the monthly Thanks For Writing contest.
Synopsis: The more comments you leave at He Shot Cyrus, the better chance you have of winning the monthly mystery prize.
Rules:
1. Every (substantial) comment someone leaves on a He Shot Cyrus post will earn an entry into the monthly drawing.
2. On the last day of every month a random drawing will occur. The first person who has their name drawn will win.
3. After the monthly winner is announced, that person has one week (7 days) to e-mail their name and mailing address to heshotcyrus@hotmail.com.
4. If the winner fails to send their name/address within a week, a new name will be drawn and that new winner will have one week to send in their information.
5. At the end of the year, ALL of the names will be thrown back into a hat and three GRAND PRIZE WINNERS will be selected. These prizes will be significantly bigger and better than the monthly prizes.
A group of strangers stuck in a motel overnight watch the rain flood their surroundings. Then the bodies start piling up. The ragtag group stumble around, point fingers, and fail to come up with any concrete leads. The motel scenes intercut with a group of psychologists evaluating a crazy-looking patient. Watching the film, I was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea for a screenplay. A murder mystery that completely takes place in a schizophrenic guy's brain. You'd watch the film unfold and try to figure out why things aren't making sense. In the end, the plot's just the glitches and slips of a malfunctioning brain.
Hot.
Heads are rolling around clothes dryers and my mind's spinning around my great new movie idea. Visions of opening my own Planet Hollywood and marrying Diane Lane slap a permanent smile on my face. No one is more creative than me. Bow down, Coen brothers. My movie is going to change the world.
My newly-greenlit project goes through quite a few name changes. Head Games and It's All in Your Head both fail to test well with audiences. They were able to guess the ending or something.
A conference call with our casting agents left things looking pretty grim. Daniel Stern and Bonnie Hunt both became attached to the newly re-written Mind Murder. Paul Ruebens signed on to play the crazy guy which led to Bonnie Hunt's agent informing us of her inability to star in our film.
Principal photography goes surprisingly smoothly. Variety prints an article announcing Walter Hill's comeback. The film screens for the LA and NY critics and is loved by each one of them. Limited releases in September, wide release just in time for the Halloween crowds. People are stopping the stars on the street, telling them, "What an ending! I never saw it coming! Genius." I'm hailed as the new "M. Night" by Mr. Shyamalan himself which I took to be a half-compliment.
My secretary was fielding phone calls from authors begging me to adapt their books. My favorite directors sent me copies of their films with notes attatched reading "Remake Me, Please." Things were certainly looking up for Mr. Gringo.
Then I watched the end of Identity. It's all taking place in the crazy guy's brain. Goodbye hopes and dreams.
I was putting together my Worst 10 of 2008 list. Here are the ten that I came up with:
10. Baby Mama 09. Meet the Browns 08. The Happening 07. War Inc. 06. 27 Dresses 05. Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden? 04. Semi-Pro 03. Jumper 02. Doomsday 01. 88 Minutes
Those are the worst movies I've seen this year. But am I qualified to make a Worst Of list?
I've yet to see: One Missed Call, First Sunday, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie, How She Move, Meet the Spartans, Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert, Over Her Dead Body, The Eye, Fool's Gold, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, The Hottie and the Nottie, Definitely, Maybe, Step Up 2 the Streets, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Diary of the Dead, Vantage Point, Witless Protection, The Other Boleyn Girl, 10,000 B.C., College Road Trip, Never Back Down, Sleepwalking, Drillbit Taylor, Shutter, 21, Stop-Loss, Superhero Movie, Leatherheads, Nim's Island, The Ruins, Prom Night, Street Kings, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, The Forbidden Kingdom, Then She Found Me, Made of Honor, Speed Racer, What Happens in Vegas..., Postal, Stuck, You Don't Mess with the Zohan, The Love Guru, Kit Kittridge: An American Girl, Wanted, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Meet Dave, Harold, August, Space Chimps, Brideshead Revisited, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Swing Vote, Beer for My Horses, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, The Rocker, The House Bunny, Babylon A.D., College, Disaster Movie, Bangkok Dangerous, Righteous Kill, The Women, My Best Friend's Girl, Battle in Seattle, The Duchess, Hounddog, Eagle Eye, Fireproof, An American Carol, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, RocknRolla, City of Ember, Quarantine, Max Payne, Sex Drive, What Just Happened, High School Musical 3: Senior Year, Saw V, The Haunting of Molly Hartley, Role Models, Soul Men, Bolt, Twilight, Four Christmases, Punisher: War Zone, Extreme Movie, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Delgo, Nothing Like the Holidays, Seven Pounds, Yes Man, or Bedtime Stories.
If you've noticed my posting frequency has been a little lower lately, you must have a knack for noticing the obvious. Life has been very busy lately. Holidays. Travelling. Wedding plans. Movie watching. Et cetera. Things will slow down mid-January. Until then, I hope you'll check out a few exciting things on the intertubes and let me know what you think.
First, the latest episode of Natsukashi is up. Rob and I discuss one of my childhood favorites: Return from Witch Mountain. It's pretty funny and definitely worth your 27.4MB.
Second, Whitney just wrote about her thoughts on Christmas, family, and film. I can definitely relate to her feelings. Today, I watched The Tale of Despereaux with my mom. Marley and Me ended up being SOLD OUT so the bullet was dodged until another day.
I’ve already seen a movie about the most dangerous game, it’s called Jumanji and that shit is serious.Why there’s no Criterion version of that one is beyond me.Guess it’s just another thing to blame Michael Bay for.As for this Most Dangerous Game, well, I’m pretty sure David Allen Grier wasn’t acting in the early-thirties (hence the Great Depression) so I don’t know how this one will turn out. LIVE FEED COMMENT (00:07:44): If the ‘most dangerous game’ turns out to be who can listen to stuffy rich people talk about nothing for the longest, then I’m the loser. Shipwrecked on an island in the middle of nowhere, Bob, our handsome protagonist finds himself in the company of a rich bachelor who brags about a mysterious trophy room to the other castaways whose boats he most likely sunk.As the first night progresses, Fay Wray’s character fills us in to the going-ons around the island: the missing people, the trophy room, the peculiar personality of their host.
Here we go.The ‘most dangerous game’ is PEOPLE HUNTING!That explains where John Liglazamo’s The Pest got its plot!Now that that’s answered, I can finally move on to the other important life questions like: Why Was The Role Of Colt Recast In 3 Ninjas Kick Back?
Bob’s got ‘til sunrise to keep his heart beating.Armed with longbows, high-powered rifles, and one stylish goatee, Zaroff the Manhunter chases Bob and Eve throughout the wooded island.There are some really beautiful shots during the hunting scenes including a long shot of the prey crossing a fallen tree and a tense situation next to a waterfall.
The film isn’t very long to begin with but the first and last scenes are wastes of time.Boring expository dialogue opens the movie and an anti-climactic slapstick fight scene closes it.Zaroff sends his new crony to do his dirty work and the two go at it and quickly dissolve any sort of impressiveness built by the previous twenty minutes.
THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME NOW FEATURING SLOPPY AWKWARD FIGHT SCENES!
Mixing unrealistic submission moves with wild, drunk-man fist swings, the two roll around the living room like a couple of fifth graders fighting over the last pudding cup that I called before lunch and I know he heard me because right after I said it he practically ran over to the fridge.Bastard.That was my pudding cup.In the end, the film has some impressive scenes, cinematography, and performances but it probably would have worked better as a short.Great premise but not strong enough to stretch across seventy minutes.
Ever see a movie poster and think you're looking at one actor but it turns out to be someone else? Happens to me every once in a while too. Here are some more of my movie poster mix-ups. To see my first mix-ups, click here.
This one I'm going to need some help with. Dustin Hoffman looks like someone else in this poster but after a week of searching, pondering, and praying, I can figure out who. Any ideas?
Arguably John Cusack's most famous moment, the boom box scene is a staple in any discussion of great 80s movies. Knowing that I won't ever pull off anything as smooth, cool, and romantic as this is a difficult realization. And the song choice? Who knew that Peter Gabriel would have wooed a pen-giving A++ student into giving a kickboxing guy named Lloyd another chance?
High Fidelity - The Fantasy Scene
No explanation needed.
Better Off Dead - "I Want My Two Dollars"
I just love the lines Cusack comes up with. You have to wonder if they were scripted or improvised. "My brother got his arm stuck in the microwave." To those who haven't seen Better Off Dead yet, if 80s wackiness sounds like a worthwhile way to spend ninety minutes of your weekend, this is the film to devote those minutes to. There are parts of Dead that will have you shaking you head with a confused look on your face--guess what? Those are my favorite parts. Also, doesn't that foreign exchange student look like that fat guy from All That? If you know the two people I'm talking about, thank you for being the reason I made this site.
Trying to squeeze in a Ross McElwee documentary before work might sound like a wonderful morning activity. I wouldn't know. What I do know is that watching the first three minutes of a History Channel reenactment-filled "doc" on the actual march of General William T. Sherman through the South blows.
Christian Bale in Public Enemies: My fiance's face after seeing these pictures:
[Author's Note: It should be noted that my fiance is not an official member of the Maryland Terrapins, however, her reaction was so strong that her head did turn into a Nike basketball.]
However, Louis Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk sucked much less.
2008's summer taught us that the days of ten, fifteen, and twenty year breaks between originals and remakes are over. These days, a director just has to wait until the video rental receipts are just as disappointing as the box office draw and presto a remake is one successful pitch away.
Here are five more movies in dire need of some reworking:
My Big Fat Independent Movie This one comes from a lot of opinions exactly the opposite of my own.
When My Big Fat Independent Movie premiered at Cinequest in 2005, the crowd in attendance laughed louder and harder than any other crowd I'd ever been a part of. The only two people who were laughing their asses off were my dad and stepmom...who had never seen any of the films the movie was parodying. Assuming that any fans of Pulp Fiction, Amelie, Dancer in the Dark, Swingers, etc., would love the movie as much as me was a fatal mistake. Okay, not fatal, but it was a mistake. Go check out the IMDB message board. See what I mean? They hate this movie.
What would happen if a remake (or possibly a sequel) could iron the bumpy parts that even I have to admit MBFIM suffers from? Some might argue that it's an indy film parodying indie films and that the flaws add to its charm. (Psst...I would agree.) But I also wouldn't hate to see another installment of the best parody film to come out in years. (See: well...DON'T SEE: Disaster Movie, Epic Movie, Scary Movie 4, Meet the Spartans, etc.)
The Man Who Killed Don Quixote
The Man Who Killed Don Quixote doesn't need to be remade...it needs to be made! If you've seen Lost in La Mancha, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. This movie was going to be awesome. But thanks to weather, health, and financial problems, Terry Gilliam's Don Quioxte movie never got finished. My favorite scene of the doc is when they find the three actors to play the giants. They're running around shirtless looking like me at a Topless 5K (?). Maybe if we start up a PayPal account for Gilliam, we could finance his movie. Who's with me?
Catwoman
I didn't see the Halle Berry one. I didn't have to. Michelle Pfeiffer proved that Catwoman could kick ass on-screen. Halle Berry tried her hardest to prove the opposite. I still think Ms. Dangerous Minds could pull off the role.
Heartbeeps
What? You've never heard of Heartbeeps? It's only the best movie about robot love. Honestly, it's probably the worst movie about robot love. It might be the worst movie involving robots in any way.
Want details?
Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters star as two robots named Val and Aqua. While being stored in a maintenance facility, they decide to escape and start a family. Their family consists of a tiny little robot who doesn't speak except for the sounds of Jerry Garcia's guitar. Seriously.
Heartbeeps doesn't have a conflict. The movie follows the robots slowly walking through a forest for a while and they they end up back at the maintenance facility. The end.
Someone should remake this and give it a plot. There are a lot of rad elements but none of them come together. I witnessed this boring hunk of celluloid at a Triple Feature Midnight Movie alongside Weird Science and Joysticks. It was better than Joysticks...although that's not saying anything.
Super Mario Bros.
Did you know that there are people out there who don't think this is the worst piece of shit ever to shit on all the cool shit from my childhood? Shit! No disrespect to Bob Hoskins, but when Captain Lou Albano makes a more memorable leading man than you do, there's something wrong with your script.
Do you remember the last scene of Night of the Living Dead where Ben, just having survived a horrific night of zombie attacks, is murdered by a group of good ol' boys and thrown onto the fire with the rest of the Others? Remember how you felt when you first watched that?
According to Watkins, there was a piece of legistlation floating around Washington around the time Nixon ordered the secret bombings on Cambodia that, if passed, would call for the construction of "camps" for those deemed to be "risks to internal security." Punishment Park follows a fictional film crew through one of these camps.
In the film, a group of anti-war protesters and activists are taken to a "punishment park" where they are to remain captive until their sentences run up. In the park, the activists are forced to run sixty miles through the desert over the course of three days with no food or water. They are promised water at the half-way point. If they make it the enitre sixty miles, they'll reach an American flag which represents their freedom. The consequence for not making the entire journey is death. National Guard officers and a group of hardbrow cops chase the fleeing "criminals" through the desert.
Intercut with footage from the desert are scenes involving the pseduo-trials that appear more like the McCarthy hearings than any sort of civilized/fair trial one would hope they'd recieved if they were falsely accused of a crime. The trial scenes are incredibly interesting for the fact that Watkins uses them to address a number of issues and points of view, both pro and anti-war. The editing style in these scenes leave the viewer unable to ignore the filmmaker's point-of-view. I would argue against claims of the director hitting us over the head with his message and would argue instead that the editing serves the film's themes of civil unrest and utter frustration with the political system.
The most powerful speeches of the film is delivered by one of the female prisoners where she states that she supports the American people--not the American government. She doesn't support the government because the government does not support the people.
It's difficult to not make connections between this film and the numerous films chronicling the happenings at Guantamo Bay and Abu Ghraib that have been released this year (Standard Operating Procedure, Taxi to the Dark Side, Harold and Kumar...). As disturbing as it is to learn about the punishment methods of your country, it's pretty clear that putting these events out of your mind isn't going to change anything. These films were made to spark discussions which would hopefully grow into a change-affecting force. What's fascinating about Punishment Park it it's relevance over thirty years after its initial release date. Park attempts to spark conversations as well, and those conversations held in the seventies are still being held today. The characters have changed but the story's still the same. Our country's government is out of control and their power is mind-blowing.
The film asks, "What are we gonna do about it?"
Punishment Park blew me away. Walking in with absolutely no knowledge of the film's style, plot, or politics, created a situation where I could take in the film with fresh eyes, without my preconceptions fogging up my movie-going glasses. If there's any part of you that's interested in American or world history and politics, take the time to watch this film.
10. Drew Danburry - This Could Mean Trouble You Don't Speak For The Club
A good friend of my fiance, Drew Danburry traded me a copy of his album for my extra copy of Style Wars. I met him when he and his wife needed a place to crash while making a tour stop in California. Drew Danburry tours, tours, and tours. If his band isn't availible then he tours on his own. His music is everything. It's folky indie pop with layers musical, vocal, and lyrical. Really impressive CD here. Go buy this album (or trade him a 70s doc on New York graffitti) and make sure to stick around for the bonus track.
09. Nappy Roots - The Humdinger
For years and years I waited for another Nappy Roots album. I may have been the only one but damnit, that doesn't cheapen my struggle. I had worn out my copies of Watermelon, Chicken, and Grits and Wooden Leather. It turned out that their earlier independently-released albums 90 in the Slow Lane and Country Fried Cess weren't worth listening to. In short, I needed some new Nappy. A mixtape was released and peaked my interest. Eventually the album dropped and song after song pleasured my earholes. Gross. Between "On My Way to GA," "Swerve and Lean," and "Pole Position," I had a new group of tracks to keep me happy for another couple years. But if anyone hears any news about more new Nappy...please let me know.
08. Moe Pope and Headnodic - Megaphone
As you all know, Crown City Rockers used to be called Mission before they came to California. Raashan Ahmad and Moe Pope were the group's two emcees and Headnodic, Woodstock, Max McVeety, and Kat Ouano produced and played instruments on the Mission album. When the group decided to move to California, Moe Pope stayed behind and created Project Move. Headnodic made his way West and is wasn't until 2008 that they put out an album together.
The album is a blast to listen to. Between the always-interesting and fun production from Headnodic and the energetic lyrics and hooks from Pope, there's not a single track I would skip on Megaphone. Make sure you listen up for the interludes where the guys start naming off their favorite producers from hip-hop's history.
07. The Roots - Rising Down
Holy shit. First off, I've never been a huge Roots fan. I know, I know, I know. How can I claim to love hip-hop and not love The Roots. Let's be clear, I've always loved what The Roots stand for: intelligent lyricism, the use of actual instruments, and a passionate work ethic. But there was always something that never allowed me to fully soak in and enjoy their work. Rising Down changed all that. That invisible auditory wall is GONE. The Roots are as incredible as everyone says they are. My brain has finally switched on and accepted it. Not only do I now consider myself a Roots fan but the album features tons of other emcees that are more than impressive: Dice Raw, P.O.R.N., Malik B., Peedi Crack, and Truck North. That, along with appearances from Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Common, Styles P, Wale, Chrisette Michelle, makes the album look like a Hall of Fame lineup of talent.
06. The Presidents of the United States of America - These Are the Good Times, People
Straight pop music. This is the most fun-t0-listen-to album on the list. Sure, some might say that there's a lack of substance, but there's no bad tracks if pop's what you're looking for. If you like their old stuff--you'll like their new stuff. Here's a little added bonus if you were fat/nerdy/white in the late 80s/early 90s: Weird Al directed their Mixed Up S.O.B. video.
05. DJ Cam - Lost & Found
A French DJ with a love for blending hip-hop and jazz, Cam has released over fifteen albums since 1994. His latest project is one of his best. Miminalist vocals and room-filling instrumentals combine to produce an extremely impressive jazzhop album. One of the best tracks reworks Kool & the Gang's "Summer Madness" while another draws inspiration from Chinese violins which reminds me of the streets of San Francisco. This is a beautiful collection of nine songs which blend together into fourty minutes of mind-stretching music.
04. Billie The Vision & The Dancers - I Used to Wander These Streets Go to their website to get this album for FREE.
Using the internet to put their name out, this Swedish group has played gigs everywhere from high school gymnasiums to prision institutions. Releasing their first album I Was So Unpopular in School and Now They´re Giving Me This Beautiful Bicycle in 2004. Since then, they've sold thousands of records and recieved hundreds of thousands of online downloads. Touring with the Pipettes (hopefully to the U.S. soon), the group continues to pay their dues while their popularity slowly and steadily continues to grow. The third track "Someday Somehow" will transform you into an instant fan.
03. Ladyhawke - Ladyhawke
Thank you, blog-o-sphere! Without you, I would have never heard of Ladyhawke. Hell, I probably wouldn't have heard of most of these albums without blogs. A lifelong fan of 80s music, Phillipa Brown, is a one-woman force for bringing the unpopular decade back to the mainstream. Packed with synthesized keyboard sounds Ladyhawke belts out Kim Wilde/Cyndi Lauper/Pat Benetar-esque pop vocals. If this is your cup of tea, you'll order a gallon of this. And yes, the band is named after the Matthew Broderick movie.
02. Raashan Ahmad - The Push
I've been waiting for this album for YEARS. Literally, years. The Crown City Rocker frontman and I talked about this album back in 2006. When we spoke, he told me that the album was nearly completed. Then, it seems the project refused to stop growing, morphing, and expanding. One time, Raashan told me that he was waiting for Chali 2na of Jurassic 5 to stop by and lay down his vocals for a song he was working on. Numerous producers and DJs were assisting in creating tracks for the album and as Raashan released lyrics to new tracks on his website, my excitement level tripled, then quadrupled, and tripled again on top of that. Then came the release date. A free show at Amoeba. I was in the front row, my recently purchased CD in hand, hands up and down as Raashan killed it. Buy this album, it's not expensive, support local art. Support MUSIC.
Fight the power! Power fight people People fight people for the crumbs that we left with Crumbs look like buffet's to poor folk But knowledge is the wealth and that ain't no joke Crips fight bloods and bloods fight cholo's Cholo's to whites and white fight black Like, gimme them scraps and be gone with the wind But the hood's a bad land like a reservation Press wanna fight for free speech in the court Dad's wanna fight when they kids play sports thugs wanna scrap when you eyeball em' wrong m.c.'s wanna fight when you rhyming too long tribe fight tribe in the congo, WAR! we buy the fight at the diamond store big country fight little country for they minerals fly drugs to the block make more criminals…FIGHT!
01. She and Him - Volume One
What a surprise. I thought for sure that The Push would have been my number one album of the year. Then my friend Kaleen told me about a new project involving M.Ward and Zooey Deschanel. I'd enjoyed M.Ward's music before but had no idea that the Almost Famous actress could sing. She can. The combination of these two musicans kicked my ass in a major way. I think it was the surprise that slid this album to the top of the list. I knew I'd love The Push but to get this much happiness from a group I'd never heard of makes me look forward to the future of music.
Here's a link to a mix I made. There's one song form each album in this folder. Support these artists. Buy their CDs. You won't regret it. If you'd like to tell me your Top 10 albums/artists of 2008, I'd really appreciate it.
Nathaniel tagged me for the new Top 20 Actresses meme that's been blazing through the blog-o-sphere. Here's the original post. Above are my Top 20 favorite actresses. I'm in a bit of a nostalgic mood today so don't be too surprised when you see some of my yesteryear loves. They're in no particular order (as ruled by Mr. Film Experience) and I made up a collage (as ruled by Mr. Film Experience) and I hope you all enjoy.
I'm going tag other people now. Here we go:
Whitney at Dear Jesus Caitlin at 1,416 and Counting The Mad Hatter at Dark Side of the Matinee Daniel G. at Getafilm Fox at Tractor Facts Christopher at From the Mind of Fotog Ink
A lot of people may have never heard of this movie. Those who have heard of it may never have seen it. Those who have seen it might dismiss the film as a "bad movie" or a "B picture" but, just like so much of Robert Townsend's work, Meteor Man deserves much more credit than it's received.
Watching the film, I was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea for a screenplay. A murder mystery that completely takes place in a schizophrenic guy's brain. You'd watch the film unfold and try to figure out why things aren't making sense. In the end, the plot's just the glitches and slips of a malfunctioning brain.
Watching the film, I was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea for a screenplay. A murder mystery that completely takes place in a schizophrenic guy's brain. You'd watch the film unfold and try to figure out why things aren't making sense. In the end, the plot's just the glitches and slips of a malfunctioning brain.
Hot.
Principal photography goes surprisingly smoothly. Variety prints an article announcing Walter Hill's comeback. The film screens for the LA and NY critics and is loved by each one of them. Limited releases in September, wide release just in time for the Halloween crowds. People are stopping the stars on the street, telling them, "What an ending! I never saw it coming! Genius." I'm hailed as the new "M. Night" by Mr. Shyamalan himself which I took to be a half-compliment.
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