A Quick Reminder...

Monster Camp
is out on DVD today!

After catching Monster Camp at Cinequest a couple years ago, I've been telling people to go see this quirky documentary. Here's an excerpt from an earlier post:

OH YES! I have seen this movie and it is glorious. There's heroes, villains, and MAGIC! Here's the lowdown on Monster Camp. A group of nerdy kids get together to LARP (or Live Action Role Play). Bascially, they play real-life World of Warcraft. Foam swords, potion viles, and truckloads of virginity. What else can a (horizontally) growing boy ask for? Monster Camp is hilarious and really, really fun. I happened to see the world debut at Cinequest last year and met the filmmaker. Definitely keep your eyes open for this one. I'll let everyone know when it comes out on DVD too.

Well, it's out. Here's an Amazon link.
It's on Netflix too. Go check this one out.

Another 12 Movies Meme

Excerpt from The Dancing Image:

So now I propose a new list-making venture for all of you reading this: imagine that you can screen 12 hard-to-see movies that you've personally never viewed before. And since all memes need a catchy name, call this the "Holy Grail" list.
Here are the rules:
1. List 12 movies you've never, ever seen before. 2. Films cannot be availible on Netflix. 3. Organize the 12 movies any way you want. 4. Credit The Dancing Image and Lazy Eye Theatre. 5. Tag five people to keep the meme going.

Here's my Holy Grail list:

Joe's Bed-Stuy Barbershop: We Cut Heads (1983)

Spike Lee's first feature film. Actually, it was his MFA thesis project. If I had to make a film right now for my MA, it's probably look like Andy Milonakis tried to remake High Fidelity in a video store.

...All the Marbles (1981)

Peter Falk and his group of female pro wrestlers are going for all the marbles.
If you don't think that sounds fantastic...fuck you.

Cool as Ice (1991)

The Vanilla Ice movie. I heard it's like House Party meets The Magnificent Ambersons. Then I told my uncle to stop drinking and to get out of my room. Although, he was probably right in assuming that Cool as Ice will see a DVD release first.

The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh (1979)

A failing basketball team hires an astrologist to switch up the players so that they're all under the same zodiac symbol. The new players are all Pisces, hence the title, The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh.

Crows Zero (2007)

First heard about this from Keith over at The Kinetoscope Parlor. He said the final showdown is not to be missed. So, why am I missing it, damnit? 'Cause I'm waiting for an American DVD release. Looks like I'll be waiting for quite a while, especially since a trip to my favorite Chinatown DVD store will now involve a 12-hour drive.

Condorman (1981)

Nothing screams "RENT THIS, KID" like Michael Crawford about to trust his life to a badly designed hang-gliding mechanism. At six years old, this VHS cover was right up there with Ghoulies and Shocker.

Cannery Row (1982)

I used to live near Cannery Row. That's honestly the only reason I'd ever watch this movie.

Amazing Grace and Chuck (1987)

A little league player decides to boycott baseball until all of America's nuclear weapons are disarmed. A famous basketball player hears about this and decides to do the same thing.

My family owned a copy of this movie for years. I never watched it. Didn't watch Johnathan Livingston Seagull either. As long as we're reminiscing, I never threw my mom's copy of Chariots of Fire. Maybe some things are just better left unwatched.

Airborne (1993)

Another Kinetoscope Parlor recommendation. This slot might have gone to North Shore if Netflix didn't have it. It also might have gone to Rad had I not seen it before. Come to think of it, an Airborne/North Shore/Rad/Thrashin' movie marathon just might have to happen soon. Now to get my hands on a copy of Airborne.

Chopping Mall (1986)

I've been wanting to watch this movie for years. Years! The cover art looks like a R.L. Stein book. Not a Goosebumps book, but one of those Fear Street books. Anyone know if this one's even worth tracking down?

12 + 1 (1969)

Mario (not the mushroom-eating plumber) recieves thirteen antique chairs. He sells all of them off only to find out that one of them is worth a fortune. He has to track down this specific chair and sets out on a trip to do so. The only problem is that he has no idea which chair is the valuable one. Sounded interesting to me, thought I'd add it to the list. Also, this was Sharon Tate's last movie...you know, before the Charlie Manson girls murdered her.

Howard the Duck (1986)

Lucasfilm involvment? Check.
Star of Caroline in the City? Check.
2 million dollar duck suit? Check.

What more do you need?


There's my Holy Grail list. I tag the following people to keep the meme going:
Whitney @ Dear Jesus
Brian @ Dear Jesus
Keith @ The Kinetoscope Parlor
J.D. @ Valley Dreamin'
Derek @ Son of Double Feature

Sitting on My Netflix

Slate.com is conducting a reader poll about sitting on your Netflix. They asked which rental you've kept the longest and why. A couple clicks later and I had my answer:

Au Revoir Les Enfants; 21 days.

I pride myself in getting my money's worth from my Netflix subscription. Even in my busiest months, two hours are often set aside for movies. These DVDs always get priority over recently purchased films. If it arrived in my mailbox, it'll be back in the mailbox no less than 72 hours later.

So, what happened with Au Revoir Les Enfants?
And also, what the hell is Au Revoir Les Enfants?

Whitney over at Dear Jesus knew that I enjoy films about teachers. My thesis revolves around teacher movies and she recommended two films from France. The first was a documentary called To Be and To Have and the other was the Louis Malle film that sat on my shelf for three weeks.

The plot revolves around two boys living at a French boarding school during World War II. One's Catholic, the other's Jewish. They don't like each other at first but as time passes, they begin to become close friends. The Jewish boy, Jean Bonnet Kipplestein, has been allowed to hide from the Nazis at the boarding school and tension builds as the German troops move in closer to their location.

Sounds like it would be good, doesn't it? So, why did it take almost a month for me to watch? The answer is pretty simple. My intrigue was peaked because I love teacher films. That's how it made its way to the top of my queue. However, foreign films take a higher level of concentration than I was willing to give. When you rent Notorious B.I.G. - Bigger Than Life, checking your e-mail in the middle might seem a bit more managable. Decisions are made.

I just couldn't gear myself up to dive into Malle's historical war-time drama. Instead, I watched Wattstax and Untraceable, both films that found their way back to the Netflix Shipping Center long before Au Revoir. I knew that the film deserved a clear head and my full attention.

Late one night, I shut off all the lights, sat down, and watched Au Revoir Les Enfants. It was worth the wait. Three weeks after I recieved my little red envelope, I was able to fully take in and experience what I would consider a 'classic,' whatever that means.

Also, if you ever get around to watching this movie, just remember to put it in the right context. When Au Revoir was released, the top-grossing films in the U.S. were Three Men and a Baby, Fatal Attraction, and Beverly Hills Cop II. Call it a palate cleanser. Or a breath of fresh air. Or better than 3 Men and a Baby. In short, it's worth sitting on your Netflix for three-quarters of a month just to see this film.

Go tell Slate.com what film you've kept the longest. But first, tell me. Thanks for reading!

How to Survive a 12-Hour Roadtrip

When you find yourself in the car with your bestest girlfriend and fellow cinephile on a twelve-hour road trip, there are many ways to make the time fly. The best thing we came up with this weekend was recasting movies. Some worked, some flopped, but the best one we came up with was the recasting of Beetle Juice!

Two of the biggest changes between Tim Burton's movie and our movie are the two main characters. In the original, Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis play a happily married couple who live happily until the day they died...which happened come 50 years earlier than expected. With today's ever-changing definition of "family," Whitney and I decided to update this B-movie classic.

A mid-40s lesbian couple named Julie and Numar, played by Mary Steenburgen and Catherine Keener, live together in a quaint New England town. One lovey Sunday afternoon, they decide to go for a lovely Sunday afternoon drive. Some lovely Sunday afternoon apple picking might also be in order.


On their way home from the orchard, their car blows up. It just blows up. They blow up too. The accident scene looks like cranberry applesauce.

As you all know, the couple returns home, finds out they're dead, and witnesses a new family moving into their home. The original film starred Catherine O'Hara and Jeffrey "I love kiddie porn" Jones as the new home owners. Whitney and I decided that Catherine O'Hara nailed her role so we re-cast her.

We also decided that since Jones wants to nail 14-year-old boys that we should find someone else. The decision was easy. Larry Miller. Remember 10 Things I Hate About You?


Winona Ryder is proving difficult to replace. Could she still play a 13-year-old? Maybe. She'd have to tape her chest down like Girl Interuppted. Our casting agents are looking into it.

Rumors are swarming that that yet-to-be-filled role could go to Harry Potter's Emma Watson. The young thespian, donning the black, gothy clothes, make-up, hairdo, etc. could possibly play an impressive Lydia. The role is expected to be filled within the next few weeks.


Alan Arkin will play the pseudo-artistic homosexual interior designer, Otho. Yeah, we were pretty happy with this one too.

That brings us to the title character. Beetlejuice. A perverted zombie womanizer with a sailor mouth. Names were tossed around, maybe Sam Rockwell, Jim Carrey (my bad idea), and John Legizamo, to name a few.

Then Whitney had the genius idea to make him a drunk. Beetlejuice will be played by Robert Downey Jr. Easy choice. He'll harass the two women, martini glass in-hand, spouting off swarmy references to his junk. The two same-sex lovers will, of course, reject his offers and services and decide to take care of their problems on their own.

Suddenly, Beetle Juice turns into quite a powerful women's empowerment film when Julie and Numar take young Lydia under their wing and guide her through those tough teenage years. By relying on their own stengths, the three women band together to get Lydia's parents to move back to New York and for Beetlejuice to go back to hell.


Well, that's it. That's how we spent fifteen minutes of our twelve-hour drive. Hope you liked it. If not, I can guarantee it's better than our attempt to remake Stroszek as a Hollywood romantic comedy. It starred Dane Cook as Stroszek, Jessica Alba as his girlfriend, and Richard Dreyfuss as the old man whose trailer they move into. Also, when casting a live-action version of The Little Mermaid, we quickly realized that we has just cast Enchanted. Guess that means Enchanted did a good job.

So, what did you think?

Something I Stole from Joseph Campanella

But in all seriousness, go watch his awesome short film:
http://cinemafist.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-first-film-fest.html

What's the Best Way to Spend a Week?

Pineapple Express

Definitely the funniest of the summer comedies. It's nice to see that a guy who looks like me opening a hit picture. Judd Aptow is the King Midas of comedy's newest generation. Even if stoner comedies aren't your usual go-to genre, this one's a lot more than a "pot movie." This is one damn funny buddy movie. Damn funny.

Rogen and Franco are hilarious and the supporting cast are just as good. Even Rosie Perez is good. Rumor has it that she asked David Gordon Green to cut a lot of her dialogue. Seems like a good choice to me (and I LIKE Rosie Perez), haha. Gary Cole plays an awesome villain and his cohorts could have their own movie. Craig Robinson (The Office) and Kevin Corrigan (Grounded for Life) play hitmen who've been working together for way too long. When Robinson says "I look like the Hamburglar," I had one of those embarrassing way-too-loud laughs.

The last 35-45 minutes does seem to go on forever but I was laughing during each one of them. So was the rest of the audience. Unfortunately, the there was only one scene with a David Gordon Green (All the Real Girls) feel to it. Can you guess which one? Yeah, it was the "in the woods" montage with that little folk song playing over it. It would have been interesting to see a feature more representative of Green's minimalist style. I wouldn't doubt that most people assume Aptow directed Pineapple Express which is too bad because Green is one of the most talented directors working today.

One last note, "You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, motherfucker!"

Tropic Thunder

Luckily, I watched this right before Pineapple Express. Had I seen PE first, Tropic Thumder wouldn't have played nearly as well. Granted, I was laughing throughout, the 100 million dollar budget just shows a bit much. It feels like a 100 million dollar movie. The characters are all types and lack the depth that Green's film featured.

The fake trailers at the beginning were hilarious through. Great cameo from the MTV Movie Award Best Kiss Winner. Nice jab at Eddie Murphy too. Anyone else notice how Jack Black looked like a missing cast member from El Chavo del Ocho?

Got to point out how Danny R. McBride is blowing up. I loved him in All the Real Girls and Hot Rod. Now he's co-starring in the two biggest summer comedies. That's awesome! Next up, the Will Ferrell Land of the Lost project. Kick ass.

One last note, "I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!"

Nothing in Common

As you can see, the soundtrack will rock you to your core. A cheesy 80s flick about an advertising executive who gets thrown back into his family life when his parents split up. Coming to the table without the heart of Big or the body count of Saving Private Ryan, this one's worth watching but not over and over again. A pretty generic Garry Marshall movie which marks the last film appearance of Jackie "POW! Right in the kisser" Gleason.

The Great Debaters

Denzel Washington's second directorial project (the first was 2002's Antwone Fisher) can't seem to decide what movie it wants to be. The Great Debaters is like a Disney film that also features lynchings and inflamed corpses. The film has a Greatest Game Ever Played feel to it that zaps out all the real emotion which could have been attached. Sure, you're invested in the characters. You hope they beat Harvard. It's just that this one could have been much more impressive and it just comes off as lacking some important element that leaves the final product as little more than forgettable.

Penelope

Better than 90% of the family dramas released in the last couple years, Penelope is the Christina Ricci with a Pig Nose movie. For some reason, the theatrical release was pretty limited, playing mostly in art houses or second run theaters. James McAvoy co-stars which you'd think would help the film's chances.

Released two years after production ended, Penelope, in my opinion, could have done really well theatrically with a couple bucks thrown towards promotion. As far as family movies go, this one works on all the desired levels. It's sweet, smart, pretty original, etc. etc. etc. It's just too bad that shit films like College Road Trip get shoved down our throats while having to search for the quality product.

Grace is Gone

John Cusack plays a man whose wife is killed in Iraq. Struggling to find a way to tell his two young daughters, he opts to take them on a road trip, hoping to preserve their happiness for just a little longer. Let me tell you the best part about Grace is Gone: no flashbacks. The director never chooses to scream "THEY USED TO BE HAPPY!" at the viewer. He allows Cusack's performance let us in on all the important details. In the hands of another director, this film definitely would have been taken in the wrong direction. Stop-Loss comes to mind.

American Teen

As it turns out, I have a gigantic crush on Hannah Bailey. Not only does she dream about becoming a filmmaker, she made plans to do so at my alma mater! She loads up her car and leaves Indiana for California's best city, San Francisco. Wanna fight about it? She wears Boy Scout uniforms, plays in a band, dislikes the popular kids. She would have been the girl I would have admired from afar in high school, terrified to actually ask her out -- too cool.

Burstein's documentary certainly has its problems, the animated sequences and the number of well, that seems pretty staged scenes, especially. The marketing sells Teen as a real-life Breakfast Club. That description works when describing the film's model, but not the film's final product. It's too Laguna Beach and not enough High School (1968).

Henry Poole is Here

If you love Jesus, faith, stucco jobs, Luke Wilson, talk of miracles, thick glasses, the idea of George Lopez playing a priest, or Radha Mitchell, then this movie might appeal to you. A small film, much different than Mark Pellington's other work (Arlington Road, The Mothman Prophecies) this is the sort of movie to recommend to your church-going aunt who often complains about the amount of state of the world these days. My mom loved it...

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

It's better than the original. Imagine that. My brain has an on-going love affair with America Ferrera and the inclusion of three additional pretty girls doesn't hurt either. I'm not going to lie, I enjoy chick flicks. I'm man enough to admit that. I've been known to watch Bloodsport and Notting Hill back-to-back. Nothing wrong with that.

I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With

Pretty damn charming indie flick starring Jeff Garlin, Sarah Silverman, and Bonnie Hunt. The title alone speaks to my heart (and its clogged arteries). If you're in the mood for a sweet movie that doesn't feel overproduced in the least, this might be up your alley. Overall, the movie works alright, but there are some standout scenes that are worth an upward move on your Netflix queue.

Tell No One
Vertigo meets The Fugitive.
Watch this movie.

Without giving anything away, here's a quick plot description. A man and his wife are attacked after spending a romantic evening out on the lake. His wife is killed and he is put into a coma. Eight years later, he gets an e-mail from a stranger. The link inside the e-mail takes him to a live camera feed at an unknown location. Then his wife walks in front of the camera. Who sent him the link? Was that really his wife? Is she still alive? The lead character, the winner of the Dustin Hoffman look-alike contest, sets out to find some answers.

This was by-far the best made movie of the week. You keep struggling to keep up as the movie progresses and just when you think you've caught up, they throw you for another loop. Even after the movie was over, I wasn't quite sure what had happened...in a good way. Hours after leaving the theater, all my brain could think about was about how every little piece of the film links together. Needless to say, a second viewing is in order.

So, that's what I did during my trip back home this week.
What did you see this week?

Wanna guess?

Sorry for the lacking post frequency.
Big announcement coming soon.

Until then, everyone head over to Natsukashi
and listen to the podcast Rob and I recorded.

As you should all know by now, Natsukashi is one of the best blogs around.
I was invited to record an episode with them on any movie from my past.

I chose something special. I don't want to give it away yet.
Go check out Natsukashi and listen to the MP3.




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