Showing posts with label Howard the Duck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Howard the Duck. Show all posts

Friday, March 5, 2010

Hell Comes to Frogtown

I understand that the title Hell Comes to Frogtown might seem a little confusing at first. But let me break down it's individual parts. First, Rowdy Roddy Piper (They Live) plays Sam Hell, one of the last fertile men on Earth. Nuclear war has killed most of the world's men and dried up almost all the rest. It's up to the remaining breeders to continue the species, hence the second word's possible double entendre. As for Frogtown, that's really the easiest part to understand. You see, nuclear war can have all sort of nasty side effects. Aside from acting as global spermicide, the fallout also mutated a large percentage of the population into frog creatures. Incidentally, at some point, these frog creatures formed a town. Now put those pieces together:

[Now that's how to utilize a Floating Head.]

In the future, women have obtained social, political, and military power. Don't get it twisted, they're still sexy, but now they have guns. With the future of all mankind at risk, Sam Hell partners up (i.e. has electric tasers secured to his junk) with two of these sexy dominants and ventures into Frogtown to save a harem of impregnable ladyfolk. (They're sexy too.) All seems well and good for the testosterone-fueled macho man until the Frogs catch on to their plan (save the women and then have sex with them).

Do you remember that episode of "Star Trek" where
Captain Kirk sloppily fights that man-lizard?

That's a lot what Acts II & III are like. This film takes a campy Howard the Duck turn about thirty minutes in and doesn't let up until the credits roll. But the saving grace of Frogtown (the movie, not the actual town of frogs) is that it knows how ridiculous it is. One of the film's funniest moments comes after a bazooka-wielding baddie delivers a speech so long it would make a Bond villian proud. I don't want to spoil it (because I'm positive after this review Hell Comes to Frogtown will be shooting up Netflix queues nationwide) but it'll at least make you chuckle. If camp is what you want, then it's amazing you haven't seen this yet. Or maybe you have. I'm making a lot of assumptions here.

Have you experienced Hell Comes to Frogtown? Will you now? And most importantly, if you landed a job remaking this movie today, would you stick with frogs? Or are you switching to a more menacing member of the animal kingdom?

Monday, September 1, 2008

Another 12 Movies Meme

Excerpt from The Dancing Image:

So now I propose a new list-making venture for all of you reading this: imagine that you can screen 12 hard-to-see movies that you've personally never viewed before. And since all memes need a catchy name, call this the "Holy Grail" list.
Here are the rules:
1. List 12 movies you've never, ever seen before. 2. Films cannot be availible on Netflix. 3. Organize the 12 movies any way you want. 4. Credit The Dancing Image and Lazy Eye Theatre. 5. Tag five people to keep the meme going.


Here's my Holy Grail list:
Spike Lee's first feature film. Actually, it was his MFA thesis project. If I had to make a film right now for my MA, it's probably look like Andy Milonakis tried to remake High Fidelity in a video store.

...All the Marbles (1981)
Peter Falk and his group of female pro wrestlers are going for all the marbles.
If you don't think that sounds fantastic...fuck you.

Cool as Ice (1991)
The Vanilla Ice movie. I heard it's like House Party meets The Magnificent Ambersons. Then I told my uncle to stop drinking and to get out of my room. Although, he was probably right in assuming that Cool as Ice will see a DVD release first.

The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh (1979)
A failing basketball team hires an astrologist to switch up the players so that they're all under the same zodiac symbol. The new players are all Pisces, hence the title, The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh.

Crows Zero (2007)
First heard about this from Keith over at The Kinetoscope Parlor. He said the final showdown is not to be missed. So, why am I missing it, damnit? 'Cause I'm waiting for an American DVD release. Looks like I'll be waiting for quite a while, especially since a trip to my favorite Chinatown DVD store will now involve a 12-hour drive.

Condorman (1981)
Nothing screams "RENT THIS, KID" like Michael Crawford about to trust his life to a badly designed hang-gliding mechanism. At six years old, this VHS cover was right up there with Ghoulies and Shocker.
Cannery Row (1982)
I used to live near Cannery Row. That's honestly the only reason I'd ever watch this movie.

A little league player decides to boycott baseball until all of America's nuclear weapons are disarmed. A famous basketball player hears about this and decides to do the same thing.

My family owned a copy of this movie for years. I never watched it. Didn't watch Johnathan Livingston Seagull either. As long as we're reminiscing, I never threw my mom's copy of Chariots of Fire. Maybe some things are just better left unwatched.

Airborne (1993)
Another Kinetoscope Parlor recommendation. This slot might have gone to North Shore if Netflix didn't have it. It also might have gone to Rad had I not seen it before. Come to think of it, an Airborne/North Shore/Rad/Thrashin' movie marathon just might have to happen soon. Now to get my hands on a copy of Airborne.

Chopping Mall (1986)
I've been wanting to watch this movie for years. Years! The cover art looks like a R.L. Stein book. Not a Goosebumps book, but one of those Fear Street books. Anyone know if this one's even worth tracking down?

12 + 1 (1969)
Mario (not the mushroom-eating plumber) recieves thirteen antique chairs. He sells all of them off only to find out that one of them is worth a fortune. He has to track down this specific chair and sets out on a trip to do so. The only problem is that he has no idea which chair is the valuable one. Sounded interesting to me, thought I'd add it to the list. Also, this was Sharon Tate's last movie...you know, before the Charlie Manson girls murdered her.

Lucasfilm involvment? Check.
Star of Caroline in the City? Check.
2 million dollar duck suit? Check.

What more do you need?


There's my Holy Grail list. I tag the following people to keep the meme going:
Whitney @ Dear Jesus
Brian @ Dear Jesus
Keith @ The Kinetoscope Parlor
J.D. @ Valley Dreamin'
Derek @ Son of Double Feature