Friday (Ten): Top 10 Superhero Movies

The Movie Case just released their Top 10 Superhero Movies list. It's great list, go check it out. In honor of their great list, here's another great list.

#10. The Crow

Here are 38 great things about The Crow.

#09. The Fantastic Four (1994)

Production company, Constantin Film, was about to lose their rights to make a Fantastic Four movie. Thinking on their toes, the company did what they had to do. They made a Fantastic Four movie. They gave Roger Corman a miniscule budget and told him to get to work. What they didn't tell Corman (or any of the actors) is that they never intended on releasing this movie. Decades later, the movie is a cult classic, and only available to watch online. Things worked out well for Constantin Film, however, as they made two gigantic Fantastic Four movies in 2005 and 2007.

#08. Spider-Man

A recent re-watching of Spider-Man reminded me just how entertaining it really is. Great origin story, pro wrestling cage match, rad villains, and much more. Even though the casting of MJ still seems wrong, this is what I want from new superhero movies: a lot of fun.

#07. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

Three reasons why this is the best TMNT film:

1. Ninja Turtles lying half-dead in bathtubs is unacceptable.

2. I like my Turtles funny.

3. Ninja...Ninja Rap!

#06. Robocop

Robocop gets looked over too often. He hardly shows up on superhero lists and I think that's bullshit. He starts out human, undergoes a tragic accident, is transformed into a robotic cop with a license to kill. What about that doesn't sound like a superhero?

#05. Mystery Men

Everyone loves an underdog. This movie's full of them. A girl who throws bowling balls, a guy with anger management issues, another guy who's only invisible when no one's looking at him. William H. Macy plays a man who shovels well! Other than Meteor Man, this might be the most underrated film on the list.

#04. The Meteor Man

I recently wrote on The Meteor Man for part of my Kid Flicks series. You can read the post here.

#03. Batman Returns

Batman Returns > The Dark Knight. There, I said it. In my opinion, this is how the Batman comics were meant to be adapted. Burton absolutely nailed it. As fantastic as Ledger was as The Joker, this movie has a better Batman, better secondary villains (DeVito as The Penguin and Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman), and a better overall plot. No Patriot Act subplots, plenty of henchmen, and best of all, no ridiculous Bale voice choking out every damn line written for him.

#02. X2: X-Men United

I just have a soft spot for X2.

#01. Unbreakable

Take what I said about Mystery Men and The Meteor Man back. THIS is the most underrated movie on this list. The Sixth Sense will always go down as M. Night's masterpiece and that's fine. But what isn't fine are the discussions that Sixth Sense is his only good movie. Unbreakable is my favorite superhero movie and it has zero explosions, no one can fly, and the action is minimal. But without the myths that Unbreakable examines, you wouldn't have any of the other movies on this list.

The Sequel Was Better: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Take a good look at that name. Someone pitched that idea to network executives who all agreed that it was a good idea. Makes you wonder if was their first idea like this or if Middle Aged Mutant Military Monkeys almost saw the light of day. For the Turtles, their origins date back to a comic book, which led to a toy line, which then led to the CBS Saturday morning cartoon. That's where I jumped on board.

Along with C.O.P.S., Pro Stars, and Ghostbusters, TMNT was a childhood staple. When my family bought VHS copies of the Ninja Turtle movies, they remained on constant Watch. Rewind. Repeat. mode for years. They were my favorites! But that being said, I always had a favorite favorite. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze was and is the best TMNT movie. And I'm going to prove it.

Reason #1: Ninja Turtles lying half dead in bathtubs is unacceptable. [4:30 in]

Riding skateboards down sewer tunnels. Eating pizza off weaponry. Creating new and exciting catchphrases. These are things that Ninja Turtles do. Ninja Turtles do not receive beatings so violent that their unconcious bodies must be stored in bathtubs for days at a time. Turtles don't cry. Turtles don't sink into depression. This leads us into my second point.

Reason #2: I like my Turtles funny.

In a pinch, linked sausage may be substituted for nunchucks. When trying to confuse burglars, pretend to be an inflatable, novelty punching bag. All important lessons we can learn from TMNT II. If this opening scene doesn't make you laugh then you're probably one of those people who love Biff's Hill Valley more than regular Hill Valley. You bastard.

Reason #3: Ninja! Ninja...Rap!

No explaination needed.