Friday, November 6, 2009

38 Great Things About The Crow

1. NIGHTMARE INSPIRING HAPPINESS
2. NO SKIMPING ON CGI CROWS
3. STREET-WISE TOUGH KID (I.E. DICK TRACY)
4. LOOKS A LOT LIKE SPAWN
5. GREAT CROW POV,
ALTHOUGH THEY SKIMPED ON IT
6. JEFF HARDY IMPRESSION 7. INSPIRED STING'S
(THE PRO WRESTLER--NOT THE SINGER)
OUTFIT

8. KNIFE-CATCHING
9. PUSSIEST SOUNDTRACK EVER!
(SEE: MY LIFE WITH THE THRILL KILL KULT,
PANTERA AND ROLLINS BAND)

10. LOOK! IT'S THE BLACK GHOSTBUSTER!
11. LOOK! IT'S WALTER FROM THE WARRIORS!
("HE SHOT CYRUS!")
12. LOOK! IT'S LORD NIKON FROM HACKERS!
13. ANTAGONIST TURNED INTO KITCHEN ACCESSORY
14. VENGEANCE

15. FOUR CANS OF GASOLINE EQUALS THIS

16. THE BAD GUYS HAVE NAMES LIKE FUNBOY, TIN TIN, AND TOP DOLLAR

17. MAIN BAD GUY LOOKS LIKE
GARY OLDMAN HAD A BABY WITH
TABOO FROM BLACK EYED PEAS

18. CAMERON DIAZ TURNED DOWN THE ROLE
OF SHELLY BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T LIKE THE SCRIPT

19. THE JOKES: "JESUS CHRIST WALKS INTO A HOTEL.
HE HANDS THE INNKEEPER THREE NAILS AND ASKS
'CAN YOU PUT ME UP FOR THE NIGHT?'"

20. THE CROW POSSESSES THE POWER TO
WILL MORPHINE OUT OF A WHORE'S ARM
21. EPILEPTIC MINDREADING FLASHBACKS

22. PROOF THAT BRANDON LEE'S CAREER
WAS ON THE SAME TRACK AS BRANDON LEE


23. THE REALLY GREAT DIALOGUE

24. PATRIOTIC ROOFTOP GUITAR SOLO

25. LOOKS LIKE DARK CITY26. T-BIRD, WE HARDLY KNEW YE

27. THIS

28. VIGILANTE JUSTICE

29. GRIZZLED-FACED LIEUTENENT

30. AND DON'T FORGET THIS! 31. FANTASTIC SETS 32. THE DETROIT ARSONIST LEAGUE 33. STARRING HEATH LEDGER AS THE JOKER 34. COPS WHO CONSTANTLY SAY "WHAT THE CRAP?"

35. THE CROW IS SO 1990'S
THAT EVEN PEOPLE WHO'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE
FEEL NOSTALGIC

36. JUMPING FROM ROOFTOP TO ROOFTOP
IN SLOW MOTION
37. ALL THE BEST SCENES TAKE PLACE DURING RAINSTORMS

38. EXCEPT FOR THE SCENES
THAT TAKE PLACE DURING
MONEY STORMS

4 comments:

Kat said...

The Crow was my second or third favorite movie when I was a faggy gothy 13 year old. Perhaps it was all the faggy gothy camp in it? Or maybe just the Nine Inch Nails cover of a Joy Division song... Also, I had the same haircut as Sarah, which I thought was just fantastic.

Heather said...

This definitely makes me feel nostalgic. I remember watching this movie in middle school with my brother. He loved the movie and watched it multiple times. I think he also had an action figure. As for me, the movie kind of freaked me out. I also remember being really intrigued by the fact that Brandon Lee tragically died during this film. I remember I kept thinking "will we see the actual scene where he got shot?!" As if they would leave that footage in! Boy was I stupid. I later heard they destroyed the footage.

Jay Amabile said...

That Jeff Hardy Impression - CLASSIC I was laughing my ass off! lol. Jeff Hardy is the man.

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