The Sequel Was Better: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Take a good look at that name. Someone pitched that idea to network executives who all agreed that it was a good idea. Makes you wonder if was their first idea like this or if Middle Aged Mutant Military Monkeys almost saw the light of day. For the Turtles, their origins date back to a comic book, which led to a toy line, which then led to the CBS Saturday morning cartoon. That's where I jumped on board.

Along with C.O.P.S., Pro Stars, and Ghostbusters, TMNT was a childhood staple. When my family bought VHS copies of the Ninja Turtle movies, they remained on constant Watch. Rewind. Repeat. mode for years. They were my favorites! But that being said, I always had a favorite favorite. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze was and is the best TMNT movie. And I'm going to prove it.

Reason #1: Ninja Turtles lying half dead in bathtubs is unacceptable. [4:30 in]

Riding skateboards down sewer tunnels. Eating pizza off weaponry. Creating new and exciting catchphrases. These are things that Ninja Turtles do. Ninja Turtles do not receive beatings so violent that their unconcious bodies must be stored in bathtubs for days at a time. Turtles don't cry. Turtles don't sink into depression. This leads us into my second point.

Reason #2: I like my Turtles funny.

In a pinch, linked sausage may be substituted for nunchucks. When trying to confuse burglars, pretend to be an inflatable, novelty punching bag. All important lessons we can learn from TMNT II. If this opening scene doesn't make you laugh then you're probably one of those people who love Biff's Hill Valley more than regular Hill Valley. You bastard.

Reason #3: Ninja! Ninja...Rap!

No explaination needed.