Monday, June 30, 2008

Best Poster - Worst Movie: Harold

Oh, sweet Moses. This is the best poster I've ever seen.

I went to the film's website and watched the trailer.
This movie looks awful.

The plot: A 14-year-old attempts to cope with going bald.

The cast:
The kid from Disney's The Kid, the girl from Hairspray, Ally Sheedy, and everyone's favorite "why the hell is he in this movie?" actor, Cuba Gooding Jr.

The trailer: Embarrassing "take off your hat in class" scene. Check. School shooting joke. Check. Bald kid getting pantsed. Check. Rectal exam. Check. Child molestation joke. Check. Go-kart race. Check. Old woman mistaking the boy's age for his penis length. Check. Cuba Gooding Jr. doing the cabbage patch. Check.

It's official. Great looking poster, terrible looking movie. Shame.


Daniel G. said...

I don't understand. Isn't this the exact same poster as the one for The Rocker? Am I missing the joke?

The Mad Hatter said...

Great poster indeed...kinda reminds me of the one for 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Shame the movie looks terrible though.

elgringo said...

Daniel G. - Woah, you're right. They're practically the same. That's crazy.

Mad Hatter - It's like 40-Y.O.V. with a Cat in the Hat color scheme.

whitney said...

Remember when that kid got shot point blank in The Happening and died? That was so satisfying.

Megan said...

"Go-kart race. Check." - I laughed for about 10 minutes after reading that.

Keith said...

Whoah! Now I almost want to see The Happening. Almost.

I hope the kid in this movie gets shot point blank too. Then he'd be bald AND dead! Take THAT, ugly kid!

Anonymous said...

Hollywood has no shame.

elgringo said...

Whitney: I totally agree.
Megan: Glad to hear that!
Keith: That scene sorta makes the movie worth watching...on DVD. Also, I'm pretty sure that if the trailer didn't show him getting shot, then it's not in the movie. I'm pretty sure the trailer covered everything.

Rick: That's the truest thing ever said of Hollywood.

Thanks for commenting everyone!

Lunatone said...

"Old woman mistaking the boy's age for his penis length. Check."

... how can you mistake an age for a penis length? I've done some pretty stupid things, most of them today, but I have NEVER done that one.

And, for shame Cuba. Have some self respect.

And, didn't Brad start going bald around that same age?

And, why a rectal exam in a movie about a 14 year old?

Finally, I'm not that excited about the poster to begin with.

Go see The Fall and write about it already, dammit. Unless you want to go see it with me and we can go on Saturday?? Or I can come up to the city soon and we can go!

Lunatone said...

P.S. I totally want to see The Rocker.

Wait... who's Dwigt?

elgringo said...

I promise I will see The Fall soon. Where is it playing down by you? I don't know where it's playing around here. I'll have to look.

Amanda said that she watched "El Crimen Del Padre Amaro." Did you watch it with her?

I'm planning on doing an entire post to the Cuba Decline. Sounds like something you'd learn about in U.S. History - Kennedy era.

MC said...

Well, if there is a rectal exam, I can see why there would be a child molestation joke as well.

Who wants to go to Hollywood to kick the executive who greenlit this in the groin repeatedly? I certainly do.

elgringo said...

MC, the scene looks really bad too. He's bent over the table, looking towards the camera, then screams. A little too "I Spit on Your Grave" for my tastes.

MC said...

What I keep thinking about is how crappy Spencer must feel when he sees the movies his sister is making now.

elgringo said...

When I noticed that his last name was Breslin I wondered if they were related. Hm... That's interesting. I saw them both in Raising Helen and never would have guessed that they were related in real life.

Kim and Nick Grafton said...

I'm confused... you said check after all of those things like they were prerequisites for bad movies, or at least movies with young kids going bald. I didn't realize there was any sort of list of requirements for this kind of thing. You learn something new everyday. Its a good thing rectal exams aren't required in all movies...

elgringo said...

I'm pretty sure this movie sets the bar for every future movie about kids going bald. You heard it here first!