Ten Trailers (and one picture) that are Exciting Me

Baghead

A group of wannabe filmmakers head into the woods to write the script that's going to make them famous. A dream provides the perfect image, a man with a bag over his head. All joking stops when someone donning that bag starts messing with them. Baghead is from the Duplass Brothers, who made a movie called The Puffy Chair which just got added to my Netflix queue. My initial reaction to the trailer is excitement. It could be funny. It could be scary. It could be really endearing. My gut's telling me that it's gonna be a mixture of all three.

Boy A

Some violent kids get sent to jail for murder. Eleven years later, Boy A is released. Lying low behind a name change and a lacking social life, Jack attempts to cope with a life freed from bars. His cover is blown, however, when he and a co-worker save the life of a young girl. Finding himself the center of a media frenzy, Jack appears to take off to the streets, his intentions unclear. This one's already won some awards at Tribeca and looks to gaining some buzz among film fans.

Glass, a Portrait of Phillip in 12 Parts

The title explains it all. Phillip Glass is one of the most amazing composers film has ever experienced. What? You haven't heard of him? Here's some of the movie he composed for: The Thin Blue Line, Candyman, Kundun, The Hours, The Fog of War, and Cassandra's Dream. What you haven't heard of these movies? Maybe you'd enjoy the work of Teddy Castellucci. Scott Hicks, the director of Shine, follows Glass for a year and interviews a bunch of really cool interviewees like Martin Scorsese, Ravi Shankar, and Woody Allen. What? You've never heard of them? Fuck you.

Miracle at St. Anna

Spike Lee's been in the news lately. Apparently, Lee's decided that the best way to promote his new movie is to talk trash about Clint Eastwood. A natural strategy. It seems to be working too. He's mad because there weren't any black soldiers in Eastwood's war movies. Eastwood got mad back. Eastwood's got a movie coming out too. Well, it's actually coming out in December. Anyone want to guess what the next six months are going to be looking like? Check this trailer out. Taylor, I'm talking to you. You're finally getting another war movie!

Monster Camp

OH YES! I have seen this movie and it is glorious. There's heroes, villains, and MAGIC! Here's the lowdown on Monster Camp. A group of nerdy kids get together to LARP (or Live Action Role Play). Bascially, they play real-life World of Warcraft. Foam swords, potion viles, and truckloads of virginity. What else can a (horizontally) growing boy ask for? Monster Camp is hilarious and really, really fun. I happened to see the world debut at Cinequest last year and met the filmmaker. Definitely keep your eyes open for this one. I'll let everyone know when it comes out on DVD too.

My Winnipeg

Sadly, I've yet to see a Guy Maddin movie. When The Saddest Music in the World came out it dropped below my radar and I still haven't seen it. Oops. My Winnipeg seems like one of those movie that I'm "supposed to see." Explaining this trailer will only make things more confusing. Watch it for yourself, I did you the favor of posting it for you.

Righteous Kill

Robert De Niro. Al Pacino. VIGILANTE JUSTICE!
Downlow warning: These Gods of 70s cinema are playing police officers! COPS! Who can forget the last time these guys plays boys in blue?

Righteous Kill is brought to you from the man who also brought you 88 Minutes. "I BROKE IT! I BROKE MY PHONE!" That movie sucked. This movie will probably suck. But there's no way I'm not going to miss it. VIGILANTE JUSTICE!

Sangre di Mi Sangre

Movies about illegal immigration always seem to jump out at me. In Middle School, one of my teachers showed us Gregory Nava's El Norte and I've been hooked ever since. From shorts shown at Cinequest to feature-length Hollywood flicks, lots of movies have tried to represent the struggles immigrants face when they look for a better life in America. This one takes an interesting twist with the premise. Two guys meet on a truck on their way to the U.S. One tells the other that he is on the way to meet his father for the first time. When he finally does track down his dad, it turns out that his former confidant has been posing at the fruit of his papa's loins. Hilarity ensues. Actually, from the look of the trailer, violence ensues...maybe murder. Should be entertaining either way.

Take Out

Another immigration story, this time about a Chinese delivery boy with a smuggling debt to pay off...in one day. Filmed in an actual Chinese food restaurant during work hours, this low budget movie was actually filmed in 2004. I remember seeing a trailer for this a couple years ago and, at the time, I really wanted to see it. A quick check at IMDB doesn't seem to highlight any sort of release date but for some reason, the trailer was up at Apple.com and caught my eye again. If this trailer is the only viewing experience I ever get with this movie then I'll die an unhappy man. If any of my readers happen to know Sean Baker or Shih-Ching Tsou, ask them to swing by He Shot Cyrus and drop me off some knowledge nuggets.

Towelhead

Taken from IMDB because I'm Mr. Lazy Pants: "Towelhead follows the dark, bold and shockingly funny life of Jasira, a 13-year-old Arab-American girl, as she navigates the confusing and frightening path of adolescence and her own sexual awakening."

While a trailer is no way to judge something like performances, it would appear that most of them seem to be pretty solid. I now realize that the world needs more "dark, bold, and shockingly funny" movies. Just the combination of those words is exciting for me. Sorta like "Zesty Cool Ranch."

Does anyone else catch a pedophilia vibe from Aaron Eckhart's character? I couldn't tell if the trailer was supposed to be alluding to that but it's certainly the vibe I picked up on. Eckhart really impressed me In the Company of Men a few years back and more recently, in Thank You For Smoking. If he does end up playing a pedophile, I'm sure he'll do a fine job. Chills just ran down my spine in a bad way. Not in a "my hot teacher just grazed my arm" sorta way.

JAMAL WOOLARD as NOTORIOUS B.I.G.

A trailer for Notorious, the remake of the Alfred Hitchcock classic (just kidding), hasn't been released yet. Woolard has the look. From what I've read, he's got the presence and the voice as well. Following the life and death of hip-hop God, Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace, the director of Soul Food and Men of Honor brings to life what Sly Stallone could only talk about doing. Stallone tried to make a Biggie Smalls movie for a while but it never got off the ground (collective sigh).

Go check IMDB for the rest of the castings. They're incredible. Having just finished "Unbelievable: The Life, Death, and Afterlife of the Notorious B.I.G.," it was really cool to see who Hollywood thought could play all these influential people. The casting for Tupac is perfect, in my opinion. This will be the movie of 2009 for me, I can feel it.


Alright, what did you think? Which movies are you looking forward to the most? Any of these look interesting to you? Trailers I missed? Drop me a line and let me know!

Them (2006)

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about how much I enjoyed The Strangers. The critics had almost universally dismissed the film as just another unimportant horror flick that didn't meet up to their collective standards. As it turns out, those critics don't read my blog. At the very least, they don't comment on my blog. I got a bunch of great feedback from you guys. Some of you were either excited to see The Strangers or had already watched it and really enjoyed it.

Thanks to Kim, Jonny, Taylor, Keith from The Kinetoscope Parlor, Rob from Natsukashi, and J.J. from As Little as Possible for dropping by and letting me know what they thought about The Strangers

The more I talked about this movie, the more people recommended a French thriller called Them. Using the same home invasion premise, I was told that Them was "Strangers done right." We'll see...

If you're too lazy to read this entire post, here's my verdict on Them: the first two acts are scary as hell, but by the end, all tension and suspense evaporates with the morning sun. I was so not scared that I decided to drop by the murder scene by my house and get some pizza. Oh, did I forget to mention that two people were killed 200 ft. from my house? Word to the wise, when a drunken a-hole demands that you buy him free pizza, you should probably buy him some.

Logging in at a slender seventy-seven minutes, Them follows a gorgeous schoolteacher named Clementine (Olivia Bonamy) and Lucas, her lover, through the worst night of their lives.

Just to give you an idea of who you'll be staring at, imagine Michael Cohen as the poor man's Oliver Martinez and Olivia Bonamy as the "living paycheck to paycheck but is holding out for that Christmas bonus" man's Diane Lane. Clear enough?



I don't want to just compare Them with The Strangers but since it's been presented to me as "The Strangers done right," then I think some sort of comparison is in order. Each movie has their strong points and weak points but it's safe to say that any slasher fan will find a hell of a lot to enjoy with either.

Like I said earlier, the first hour of Them is extremely stressful on the ol' ticker.
Them + high fiber diet - adult diapers = messy situation. Fortunately, the filmmakers leave the viewer an extra half hour to clean up before the credits roll.

Here's a rundown on good guys, the bad guys, and the location. If this doesn't give you a good idea of what you're getting yourself into...then I'm not very good at this.

The Good Guys

Clementine and Lucas make for a couple of decent victims. Their backstory is shallow but deeper than some other movies. Clementine teaches French to Romanian kids and Lucas is an writer who appears to be somewhat less-than-successful. Maybe all writers just look unsuccessful to me.

When push comes to shove, it's Clementine who's kicking the assess of their assailants. Clementine is rad. She takes all the risks, protects her man, and shows those hooded hooligans who's boss. Compare this to the sniveling, shrieking, Liv Tyler and you get a clear picture as to what a kick-ass woman should look like. Lucas is pretty lame but he serves his purpose, fighting back in overtime and proving not to be the absolute definition of 'sucktatude.'


The Bad Guys

Who? Why? How many? Who knows?

Individualism is not the defining characteristic of these baddies. Donning hooded sweatshirts and Chucks, a large group of mystery guests invade Clementine's proverbial talk show. They'll jack your car, stab your eyeballs, and even turn off the lights to make things scarier. There's one scene, and I don't think I'm giving anything away, but the bad guys puts this spaghetti in a bowl... Clementine puts her hand in it... well, I try to be spoiler-free here so you'll have to watch the movie.



The Location

Clementine and Lucas are trapped in their house. That's terrifying. Just the idea of home invasion has inspired a handful of really great horror films. (See: Funny Games) Even though you know every nook and cranny of your house, you still aren't safe. You know all the best hiding places. You know where the guns are hidden. You even know how to get from the Lounge to the Conservatory on a low die roll. But it doesn't matter, psychopaths always seem to be pretty determined.

Clem and Lucas' house is gigantic. She's a schoolteacher. He's a writer. I guess the housing bubble hasn't reached Romania yet. But affordability isn't the problem here, it's the fact that the house was clearly made for a horror movie. Lots of long hallways, scary attics and basements, and even a couple hidden rooms. They might as well have built on an old church, a nursery atop an Indian burial ground and a butchery. Everything just seemed too worked out.

Don't get me wrong, the scenes in the house work. I was sweating bullets that I tried shooting out of a water gun which was less fun than it sounds. The first hour is really scary but I kept getting taken out of it when I thought about the location. How convenient is an attic filled with hanging plastic sheets? That scene is actually scary as hell but the movie quickly loses it's steam afterwards.

Not to give too much away, but the most important factor in a home invasion movie is containment. Set the limits and stay within them. Them ignores it's limits for the last third of the running time. It doesn't add to the suspense because the containment factor is readjusted. In short, they go outside. It transforms from a terrifying "they're in my home" movie to "I'm going to hide behind this tree" movie. Which one sounds scarier? You're right.


This was one of the most difficult posts I've written for a number of reasons. Trying to avoid comparisons between Them and The Strangers was difficult because that's basically how I watched the movie. "Strangers done right." Well, I wouldn't quite say that. They both use the same premise in different ways but they have a lot of similarities too.

One nice thing about The Strangers is how the director left the story contained. It begins in the house and it ends in the house. There are a few outside expeditions but everything always gets drawn back to the starting point. The movie Cube just came to mind. It's really the best film to nail the confinement angle. Whooo, that's a good movie.

My advice is to check out all these movies and draw up your own conclusions. Then watch Funny Games.

Top 5 Movies I Don't Ever Want to Watch

You can't watch everything. But why would you want to?

I own over 1,000 DVDs and they range from Criterion Collection selections to dollar bin Amoeba movies. The pride of my collection is an Old Boy Three Disc Ultimate Collector's Edition which has TONS of special features, a cool tin case, an original 35mm film cell, and a 200-page graphic novel. One of my hidden shames is that I own a copy of Vin Diesel's The Pacifier which I bought for $1.00 from the aforementioned Amoeba mecca.

My point is that I'll watch all sorts of movies ranging from classics to the bottom of the barrel. But there are certain movies I've never seen and never want to see...ever. Over the years, I've built these movies up to be the least desirable movies ever made. Whether they star an actor I can't stand or they just look plain awful, these movies were deemed "unwatchable," my cinematic kryptonite. Well, I'm going to watch them. All of them. Then I'm going to tell you if I was right or not. I'd bet that I'm right.

Whitney over at Dear Jesus is joining in on this torture. Once she makes her list, it's on! We're watching all ten movies together and if we survive, then we'll post on each other's blogs and tell you what we went through. Now then, on to the list!

The Top 5 Movies I Don't Ever Want to Watch (but am going to anyway...) List:

1. The "I Hate That Guy" Movie
The Gingerdead Man starring Gary Busey

I hate Gary Busey. Period. If he's in a movie I immediately try to find something else to watch. It's the craziness that he tries to shove on everyone. I really doubt he's as crazy as he makes him self out to be. If he actually is that crazy then he should be more interesting when someone's filming him. Thankfully, I haven't had to watch his chattering horseteeth gnaw through any scenery since an episode of "Entourage" a couple years ago.

A few months ago, I made an unexpected trip to Blockbuster because Netflix was taking too long to get me my Sopranos DVDs and that's when I spotted this cinematic abortion. The Gingerdead Man starring Gary Busey. I shuddered at the current state of independent film and made a mental note to never, ever, ever, watch this movie.

My predictions: If Gary Busey stars as the Gingerdead Man then maybe this movie will be more tolerable. I'd rather watch a badly animated cookie monster (not the Cookie Monster) than Busey failing to get out of that paper bag he's acting in. If Busey's role requires him to act like a human then it's going to be a long seventy minutes.

2. The "That Looks Boring as Hell" Movie
Pride and Prejudice - The A&E Five Hour Long Miniseries

I just can't see how this is going to be bearable. Granted, I like Colin Firth in movies like Love, Actually but it's not Mr. Firth that I'm anticipating having a problem with. I have a problem with the fact that it's five hours long, set in 19th century England, and features dialogue such as this:

You're mistaken, Mr. Darcy. The mode of your declaration merely spared me any concern I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner. You could not have made me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it. From the very beginning your manners impressed me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit and your selfish disdain for the feelings of others. I had not known you a month before I felt you were the last man in the world whom I could ever marry!

Victorian England movies are the cinematic equivalent to waterboarding. Buggies, bonnets, and Bennets are not my ideal content for a kick-ass Saturday afternoon. They don't even suit me for a Thursday's early evening. I'm not going to say that there aren't any good movies set in Victorian England, I know better than that. I will say, however, that I don't want to watch them. Some people don't like Pauly Shore and Bobcat Goldthwait, I don't like big white wigs and 1800s courtship narratives.

My prediction: I'm going to hate my life for the five hours I'm watching this and for the two hours beforehand where I'm trying to convince myself to actually go through with it. Should make for an interesting post.

3. The "I'm Morally Opposed to this" Movie
Last House on the Left

Rape revenge movies. Um... I don't know why but these aren't usually my cup of tea. I don't know a whole lot about this movie other than who directed it and the general premise. Not ever seeing that premise play out visually was fine by me. I remember Roger Ebert tried to convince theaters not to book either this film or I Spit on Your Grave because it was absolute garbage. Double feature, anyone?

My prediction: I'm a fan of Wes Craven's work, People Under the Stairs, especially. I have this little inkling of faith that this movie won't be as gut-wrenchingly vile as I've made it out to be. This is the one I'm looking forward to the least. It'll probably turn out to be my favorite. If anything, I probably won't be bored.

4. The "Everyone Told Me This Sucked" Movie
Swept Away
Runners Up: From Justin to Kelly/Gigli/Glitter/Catwoman

This is the movie that ended Guy Ritchie's career! The man that made Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels was brought down by a remake of Lina Wertmuller's 1974 film, "Travolti da un Insolito Destino Nell'azzurro Mare D'agosto," which won the He Shot Cyrus award for "Best Movie Title I've Heard Today." The movie stars his wife, some lady named "Madonna" who I heard used to be singer.

Here's how this movie beat out it's competition: Kelly Clarkson is hot. Jennifer Lopez is hot. Mariah Carey is hot. Halle Berry is hot. Madonna is not hot. In a long list of awful movies, the one with the least redeeming factors wins. That movie is Swept Away. I swore I would never watch it because I really doubted that it would be one of those "so bad, it's good" movies. To be honest, it just looked like a waste of time. I guess the time has come where I have nothing better to do with my time than waste it.

My prediction: It won't be as a bad as everyone say it is. I have no idea what the movie's about but I have a feeling that I won't be hating my life like with some of these other movies. Two hours to eat popcorn and wonder if Swept Away is also the reason why Jason Statham doesn't make good movies anymore.

5. The "So-Called Classic That Doesn't Appeal to Me on Any Level" Movie
Eraserhead

I'll be the first to tell you that I'm not David Lynch's biggest supporter. If he ran for President, I'd vote for Peter Bagdonovich instead. But not Roman Polanski. I'm a firm believer that a U.S. President should be allowed to set foot on U.S. soil.

After a few viewings of Blue Velvet and more than a few "ugly" feelings, I began to enjoy it. I wouldn't watch it all the time, but I wouldn't object to someone throwing it in if the mood stuck them. Mulholland Dr. was as confusing as Nick Nolte's mugshot. It's been on my list to watch again but I haven't gotten around to it yet.

Even with my mixed feelings towards his other films, David Lynch isn't the reason I don't want to see Eraserhead. Back when I was a young fellow attending a small high school in rural Central California, I had a friend who always knew about the weirdest music and movies. This kid introduced me to: David Bowie, GWAR, Insane Clown Posse, Peter Jackson's Meet the Feebles, Videodrome, and so-called "noise composure." Eraserhead was another film that he told me about. This one, he said, was different. The phrase I always remember him saying is "Don't watch this if you ever want to have kids." I don't know what he meant by this but I was never very curious to find out.

Since High School, tons of people have told me to watch Eraserhead. Apparently, everyone and their grandfather loves this freakin' movie. It got to the point that I started lying to people--telling them I had seen it and that it was "really weird" so that they would leave me alone, haha. They would all agree that while it was "really weird" that it was also a masterpiece. I would agree with them and then change the subject to anything else. It's time to see what they've all been talking about. Once and for all, I am going to be able to say that, "Yes, I have seen Eraserhead and this is what I think of it" without fear of my nose growing.

My prediction: I'm scared that this one's been too overhyped and that it won't live up to my expectations. That being said, I'm open to liking Eraserhead. I'm open to loving Eraserhead. Now that I'm more familiar with Lynch's work I'm pretty sure that I'll be pretty receptive to Eraserhead. I'd also bet that my opinion on bearing offspring won't change that much.

Note: The third Lord of the Rings movie almost made my list but that's a thought for another day.

That's the list! PLEASE, drop a comment in the box with your thoughts on this list. Also, I want to know your lists too. I'm really interesting in finding out which movies you'll never watch. Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll question and thanks to everyone who's been leaving me comments and feedback lately.

Switchblade Sisters

Jack Hill is an exploitation God. Frequently working with Pam Grier, Hill crafted films like Coffy, The Big Bird Cage, and Foxy Brown which all traveled around the drive-in circuits and played in double and triple features along with other exploitation films. While his Pam Grier vehicles are all pretty well known by now, all considered box office smashes and have been widely released on video and DVD. The same can't be said about the Grier-less Switchblade Sisters, which Hill directed in 1975. This one didn't make money. This one was barely seen. Until Quentin Tarantino brought this movie back to life by releasing it through his now-defunct Rolling Thunder Pictures company.

Like a lot of genre films from this time period, it had a few theatrical runs. If the picture wasn't performing to the producer's liking, they would yank it out of theatres, create a new, awesome looking poster, slap a new title on it, and release it again. There were times where you could go to the movies and find out that you've just paid to see the same movie twice.



This film had three theatrical runs under the names Playgirl Gang, The Jezebels, and its ultimate title, Switchblade Sisters. The movie is extremely clichéd but still quite enjoyable. It could be argued that the clichés make the movie.

This one's got it all. Sex, nudity, and violence are just the basic structures of which the rest of the film is built. Girl gangs (named the Dagger Debs), lesbian prison guards, rapes and murders, knife fights, a girl with an eye patch named "Patch," cake decorating, and really catchy lines like "Like my dad used to say, God rest his ass... " None of these clichés (minus the cake decorating) were new to genre pictures, not even new to Jack Hill's own movies but I don't think that makes them any less entertaining. While there seem to be a lot of similarities between this film and others of the time, it's how Hill uses the clichés that makes Switchblade really cool.



Any good gang movie's gonna have a shootout...any great gang movie's gonna have a rumble. This one has a shootout. BUT...before you give up on it, Switchblade's shootout takes place in a ROLLER SKATING RINK! As you can see in the picture above, there are pistols firing (and machine guns!) at the various roller skating gang members hobbling around on four-wheeled clunkers. I thought I had seen it all, shootouts in grocery stores, swamps, and numerous Chinese food restaurants. Then came the roller rink.

What's next, a shoot out in a Chuck-E-Cheese ballpit? I would watch that. Hell, I would participate in that. Did you know that not all Chuck-E-Cheeses have ball pits? That's awful. Off topic? Yes. Terrible? Even more so. Make sure your Chuck-E-Cheese has a ball pit before you plan your next birthday party...and make sure there's not going to be a gang fight scheduled for the same time. Although, I would bet that the roller rink was giving out discounts after the they cleaned up the bodies off the skating area. That's something to think about.

I once has a film professor that said she raised her daughter on Switchblade Sisters. At the time, I thought that was so cool. After watching it again, I'm not so sure. I don't know how a young child would be affected by watching movies featuring portly lesbian prison guards/rapists named "Mom." Maybe it would keep the kid on the straight and narrow, not wanting to be molested by a woman who looks like Patty and Selma meets Large Marge. That's enough to make me a law-abiding citizen.

Here's one of my favorite parts of the movie. The only actor I recognized from the cast was Don Stark who plays Bob Pinciotti on "That '70s Show." He's the boy gang's faithful number two, Hook, and he isn't half bad. This was his first role in a feature-length film that wasn't made for television. While I haven't seen it, I'm sure his first acting gig, a bit part character named Carl Dibble, in a TV movie with Robert Culp was really good too. I do. Hook tries to take over the gang at one point but is quickly dismissed by the ladies, who have formed a new gang, The Jezebels. This is where the cake decorating comes in.

[The cake kinda looks like Rice Krispie Treats with white paint on it.]

[I don't have much to say except that this guy has so much dental work that I hope he went on to have a lucrative acting career to pay for it all.]

[Robbie Lee as Lace (left) on her way to the film premiere. Completely unbeknownst to her, only two short years later, fellow party-goer George Lucas would steal her hairdo for some sci-fi thing he couldn't stop talking about.]

Here are some rad pictures from the film's climactic knife fight. The second half of the fight is done completely in shadows on the wall. It's not as stupid as it sounds. Like I said earlier, it's how Jack Hill uses the clichés that makes Switchblade Sisters really cool. Seeing the action in shadows brought me back to Film Noirs for the 1940s where some of the coolest scenes involve action happening off-screen, in the shadows, or like this movie shows it, through shadows on large wall-like canvases. This film has got a lot of things you've seen before but quite a few of them will be in ways you've never seen before.

The film ends with some of the Jezebels being loaded into a police truck. To give an example of the type of great dialogue you'll find through out the movie, here are the last lines:

Cop: Let me give you some advice...

Maggie: Let me give you some advice cop. You can beat us, chain us, lock us up but we’re gonna be back, understand? And when we do, cop, you better keep your ass off our turf or we’ll BLOW IT OFF, ya dig? We’re the Jezebels, cop. Remember that name. We’ll be back!

...aaaaaaand scene.

In closing, this film is readily availible so check it out. You won't regret it.

Thanks to everyone who voted on last week's poll question. Switchblade tied with Juice so maybe next week I'll do a post on that one. Also, thanks to everyone who left comments on the "Origins" post, that means a lot to me.

Keep you eyes open for another Top 5 list. That's actually what this week's poll question is going to be about. What should my next Top 5 list be on? If you have another idea which isn't an option to vote for then leave a comment here and let me know. Leave a comment anyway!

Until next week...

The Warriors

Amazing original poster artwork by Tyler Stout.

The Warriors. Yes! THE WARRIORS! I was planning on waiting awhile to write about this classic but the people have spoken. The winner of this week’s poll question also happens to be my favorite film of all time and one of the main reasons I started this site.

My introduction to The Warriors came from an unlikely source: MTV Cribs. An early episode featured a rapper that I liked. Recent research as to which rapper it was has come up short. I thought it was P. Diddy but it turns out he was never on Cribs. It wasn't Ice-T, I watched the episode just to make sure. It wasn't Snoop Dogg, although he does say "the awards are nice" which sounded a whole lot like "The Warriors are nice." Nevertheless, when it came time to show off his DVD collection, the unnamed artist held up two boxes. First, the obligatory copy of Scarface. Second, a movie I had never heard of. It was to be The Warriors.

He began to sing the praises of the ultimate gang movie. My ears perked up immediately. It turns out that The Warriors has been referenced in numerous films, rap songs, and music videos. One of these just happened to be Craig Mack’s “Flava in Ya Ear (Remix)” video – a staple song of my childhood. The video opens with Puff Daddy clinking two Coke bottles together while singing “Baaaad Boyyyyyy. Come out and plaaayyy.” That image always stuck with me and it wasn’t until I watched The Warriors did I realize where it first came from. More on the Coke bottles later.

Craig Mack – Flava in Ya Ear (Remix) (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)

Apparently, The Warriors was the film that everyone needed to see. A few weeks later, I rented the DVD and soon after that, I had a new favorite movie. For those of you who haven’t seen this yet, do yourselves the favor and Netflix a copy. If possible, try to get the original cut. In 2004, Paramount released a new DVD labeled “The Ultimate Director’s Cut.” Not much about the movie changed except for the addition of some comic book frames serving as interludes between certain scenes. They really take the viewer out of the film. The original cut looks great, sounds great, and doesn’t feature these annoying comic book frames.

For those of you who haven’t ever heard of The Warriors here’s some background of the film.

The Warriors is loosely based on a novel by Sol Yurick which is loosely based on Xenophon’s The Anabasis. The film was written by David Shraber (Nighthawks) and directed by Walter Hill (Streets of Fire, 48 Hrs.) The result of their hard work was one of the most incredible action films of all-time.

The film begins: EXT. CONEY ISLAND – NIGHT. From the moment the music hits, it’s clear that you're in for a hell of a ride. Right away, we start to meet members of The Warriors as they discuss the big meeting in the Bronx. Originally, Walter Hill wanted to cast and all-black gang, but the studio told him "no." The ethnic make-up of the gang turned out mostly white with a couple black members. But even with the cast being mixed-race the most interesting thing about this is their numbers: nine delegates from the Coney Island street force.

Walter Hill is known for his use of the “collective hero” in which a number of characters are grouped together to act as one. In this case, we’re following “The Warriors,” not Swan, Ajax, Cleon, etc. Even though the group splits up at one point, they’re still all under the collective banner: “Warrior.” However, every group needs a leader, and for most of the film, this is Swan (Michael Beck). Most of the other members get plenty of screen time but as far as the story goes, Swan is elected the official “Warchief.”

One of the most memorable scenes from The Warriors comes at the very beginning. Nine member from various New York gangs are all getting on Subway trains. Here’s where the fun begins; each gang has their own unique characteristics, and believe me, they’re unique. One group appears to be mimes wearing top hats.

Another Chinese gang wears green pointy hats. A quick eye can spot a young Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix) leading a gang suited up in camouflage outfits. Right away, the campiness factor sets in. For those of you who turn away at the sight of camp, this isn't the movie for you. In fact, this isn't the blog for you.

Roger Hill as Cyrus

The film really takes off at the awe-inspiring “Cyrus scene.” All of the gangs show up at the big meeting, Cyrus' meeting. Everyone reading this needs to realize that this film was shot in 1979, way before CGI was commonplace. Take that into consideration when you see the hundreds and hundreds of extras all wearing different gang outfits. The camera moves through them and we catch glimpses of Puerto Rican gangs, skinhead gangs, and once again, the Hi-Hats donning their top hats and white mime makeup. You can watch this scene over and over again, each time you’ll find a new gang wearing some crazy gang colors.

Cyrus is the leader of the biggest gang in NYC, the Grammercy Riffs, a huge group of black bad-asses decked out in karate uniforms. The crowd falls silent once Cyrus begins to speak. The following scene can’t be done justice in text.

If the title of my blog hasn’t spoiled anything by now…well, maybe you haven’t been paying enough attention. Here’s the exciting part! Hundreds of miles from home, the Warriors only have one goal in mind. “We’re gonna have to bop our way back to Coney.” Get home safely. With every gang in the city looking for them, the guys will have to cross turf after turf, territory after territory.

I really enjoy the episodic format that Hill uses. There doesn’t seem to be a moment to rest. Each time it seems that they’re in the clear, here comes something else they’ve got to deal with. From subway fires to violent police officers, Swan, Ajax, Cowboy, Rembrandt, Cochise, The Fox, Snowball, and Vermin, are forced to do what is necessary to make it back to “C.I. - The Big Coney.” Once the group splits up, their obstacles multiply. Without any knowledge of their friends’ wellbeing, each Warrior is forced to look out for number one. I’ve always been a big fan of films that feature ensemble casts. I enjoy having lots of stories to follow all at once. The Warriors is one of these films. Intercutting between four groups of gang members (along with various supportive characters), Hill keeps the pace quick and the stories tight.

The only time the film slows down is when Swan decides to get it on with Mercy, a young Latina woman he met along the way, in a subway tunnel. I don't know where to start with this one.

Similar to low-budget classics such as Night of the Living Dead (1968) and Assault on Precinct 13 (1976), The Warriors' story revolves around one eventual day. The goals are clear: to survive the night. There's something I love about these types of movies. I call them "anti-epics." I love movies with limited time-frame structures. It's like when I first saw John Badham's Nick of Time (1995). That movie was the first time I had ever seen the use of real-time in a narrative film before. This was long before "24" made it popular. A minute in real life equals a minute in the story. There's something ultimately cool about that. The Warriors covers around eight hours in 90 minutes, but that's still pretty exciting.

Wrapping this up, I've got to talk about some of the major gangs. These gangs are as equally cool as our protagonists and some might even argue that they make the film. This is where the film's episodic plot comes into play. Want to know the plot in one sentence? The Warriors fight a gang, then they run, then they fight another gang... and then they run some more. Here are some of the coolest gangs they fight...before running again.

The Baseball Furies

These guys are incredible. They're dressed in NY Yankee(-esqe) uniforms, they don't speak, and they hit people with bats...a lot. Oh yeah, don't forget the KISS make-up. The film's second best fight scene has these guys rumbling against our good guys in the middle of a park.

The Lizzies

Possibly named after Lizzie Bordon or more likely named because it sounds like "The Lezzies," this all-girl gang uses their ...um... sexuality to lure in the Warriors. Their plan might have been better if one of these girls had learned how to either fight or shoot a gun. Entertaining nonetheless.

The Orphans

They write about their raids in the paper. They have the proof on-hand at all time. With a leader who looks like David Schwimmer on crack and a surprisingly cool looking Number Two (the guy to the left with an afro), the Orphans aren't even on the other gangs' radar but they rumble anyway. When the Number Two holds up the cut out newspaper article, I fall on the floor laughing everytime.

There's so much more I could write about my favorite movie. I could mention the rumors of a Tony Scott remake or go on and on about the video game, not to mention the action figures.

But I'll stop here. I just hope you guys go see this one and if you'd leave me comments I'd love you forever. Before I go, I just wanted to thank my good friend Laura for making my new logo! It's crazy good. Thanks so much, Laura! One last thing, last week, I received a few comments which were great! Thanks so much, Matt and Don. Don also mentioned that he thought the MP3s were cool so I decided to keep it going. Here's another present for my readers. The theme song is AMAZING! You must listen to this. If nothing I've written make you want to see this movie, the theme song will. I promise.

Barry De Vorzon – The Warriors Theme Song
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Joe Walsh – In the City
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I also wanted to thank The Warriors Web Site for being the most amazing Warriors website in existence. Most of the pictures on this post are from there and they're just the best. Go check them out.

Oh yeah, I also realized that I promised to talk about the Coke bottles some more. But you're just gonna have to go rent the movie if you want to see what that's all about.

In short, comments are great, but at least vote in the poll question. Thanks to all you Boppers out there.