Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Never Heard of It: Gut Pile

Gut Pile.
Gut "Fuck Your Horror Movie's Title" Pile.

Unfortunately, Netflix won't let me take screen caps off their Watch Instantly player. That's why you get too look at my kick ass drawings. The resemblance is scary. In case you aren't paying attention, this week's Never Heard of It movie is Gut Pile! I'm very excited. Here we go:

iMovie title sequences just don't look professional. If you can tell a lot about a person by his shoes, shouldn't you be able to tell a lot about a movie by its titles? Gut Pile's opening is an old pair of white homeless guy New Balances.

LIVE FEED COMMENT: (0:02:04) This thing was shot on a camcorder! A fucking camcorder!

I'm half expecting some old geezer to yell "It's alright. It's okay! There's something to live for. Jesus told me so..." I'm going to find both copies of this movie and snap them in half.

Want the plot? Here's the plot: Hunter shoots a deer. Turns out not to be a deer. Turns out to be a guy. He buries the guy. Dead guy comes back from the dead and comes for revenge. Guess what? I'm just guessing about the zombie part but I'd bet my life that this guy's coming back to life.

Here's a screenshot from Gut Pile:

LIVE FEED COMMENT: (0:05:17) Oh, what a lovely 360 shot. Wal-Mart sells some really nice tripods these days.

The sound levels are absolutely terrible. I'm talking close-ups are louder terrible. There's just something about bad sound work that drives me crazy. If I could hear the dialogue, I'm sure it would be just as bad as the acting, which is just as good as the plot, the lighting, and the shooting "Poe-ver-eddie" records with shotguns scene. Guess he doesn't like opera.

LIVE FEED COMMENT: (0:15:04) Nothing like black-and-white flashbacks that replay the entire opening scene. Nope. Nothin' like it.

Hours into a night full of poker and talk of titties, a POV Monster shows up.
For those of you unfamiliar with POV Monsters, a POV Monster is a monster that you don't get to see. You see through its eyes (a.k.a. through the camcorder lens) as it runs around actin' all suspicious.

While one of the hunter's buddies takes a dump, the POV Monster lights the outhouse on fire. Flaming shit. That's how I'd sum up Gut Pile. Shit that's on fire.

Here's a screencap:

The third act sucks less than the first two. The movie's less than an hour long but the last ten are almost worth watching. The POV Monster finally shows his face. He's a scarecrow. Sorry I ruined it. One of the buddies gets his stomach ripped open (off screen) but the on screen results are the film's best moment.

(0:43:02) Ah, there's the gut pile. He just stepped in a pile of guts.


Bob Turnbull said...

You have to do your own screenshot drawings for every post from now on. Those were freaking great...

elgringo said...

Thanks a lot! I just might do that!