What's Your 'FAVORITE' Movie?

"What's your favorite movie?" Four words capable of bringing a superhuman cinephile to his knees. Usually asked by outsiders attempting to fill awkward conversation lulls, this bullshit question sucks because no matter what answer you give, it's never the right one.

Unless your favorite film actually is: The Godfather, Fight Club, or something that came out in the last six months (Dark Knight seems to be a popular choice), you're going to have a tough time explaining it to your co-worker's boyfriend. You know, the one that just got that job at the Ford dealership.

For those Lord of the Rings, Pulp Fiction, Shawshank fans, perhaps some explanation is in order. Just imagine, if you can, that there was a film. This film never had any cardboard cutouts made up from their characters. This film was made before Goodfellas and cannot be purchased as part of Hollywood Video's 3 for $25 deal. And you really like this movie. You love this movie. It's the funniest, or saddest, or most violently awesome movie you've ever seen.

Now imagine that none of the people you know have ever seen this movie before. You've just seen this amazing movie and you've got no one to talk about it with. Not only that, but your friends think you're weird for recommending it to them. Your family laughs you off too. No matter how great this movie is, you're new favorite movie, nobody seems very interested. Frustrating, isn't it?

Then someone asks you what you're favorite movie is. You get excited. Someone actually wants to know about this movie! They're interested! So you tell them! "My favorite movie is..."

And here's what happens (at least with me):

Scenario#1: This guy can't distinguish between favorite and best. Is The Warriors the best movie or my favorite movie? When I tell him my favorite movie is The Warriors, he tells me I'm wrong and then proceeds to explain to me the artistic mastery of Peter Jackson.

Scenario #2: This guy doesn't want me to answer with a title he's never heard of before. I say ''The Warriors.'' Then I'm greeted by the blankest of stares. Then one of us walks away.

Scenario #3: I say ''The Warriors.'' He says ''Oh yeah, that's a good movie. You know what else is good? Saw IV."

Clearly, this guy's never seen the movie I'm talking about. Now, I'm forced to make a difficult decision. Do I lie and say that not only did I see Saw IV but I loved Saw IV? Apparently, this is how this guy wants the conversation to go down. He lied about my movie. I'll lie about his movie.

However, that doesn't seem right. Why should I lie? I didnt' see Saw IV. I didn't miss it by accident either. Why make myself out to be cinematially ignorant for the comfort of this Cradle 2 the Grave fan? I end up brushing off his Saw IV ramblings and explaining why he should see The Warriors immediately. Oh great, now I'm that guy! The awkward film nerd/party hazard that corners some poor, defenseless business analyst for half an hour and talks his ear off about some movie no one's ever heard of before.

I'm generally okay with being that guy. I only took thirty minutes. Saw IV stole two hours from him. Plus, now, he's learned something. Never bring a Saw to a gun fight.

Scenario #4: I say ''The Warriors.'' This guy says ''The Warriors! I love that movie. Do you ever read this blog called "He Shot Cyrus?" It's the most entertaining blog ever written."

When that happens, I'll let you know how I handle it.

"I tell people it's Red Dawn but it's actually You've Got Mail."
- Seth Rogen (Undeclared)