Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Don't Judge a Movie by the Trailer: The House Bunny

I have never seen The House Bunny. However, I have seen the trailer.
If you haven't seen it, here it is.



Having watched the trailer, I feel eligible to pass judgment on this movie. Where to start...where to start? First off, I'd like to explain that I'm a pretty open-minded movie-goer. I'll watch great movies and awful movies and everything in between. My loyal readers will remember that Tom Arnold starred in three of my guilty pleasure movies. That being said, there is little that I find redeemable about The House Bunny.

First off, the premise. A Playboy bunny gets kicked out of the mansion for being too old (see: 27). Apparently this young woman has no life skills or talents to fall back on. She wanders around until she stumbles into a sorority house. Now, it's not a "normal" sorority house. The girls are "ugly," "unpopular," and...if you can believe it...smart. God forbid.

I put up with the take-the-glasses/overalls-off-the-nerdy-girl storyline in She's All That. But that was almost ten years ago. Today, I'm over it. As far as I'm concerned, Anna Faris is pretty damn talentless and needs to learn how to shut her mouth. It's not that she speaks too much. She just cannot shut her mouth, close her jaw, make her teeth touch, etc.

That took four minutes to make. Pretty easy to find a dozen pictures of Faris with her mouth propped open like a codfish. This is the only expression Faris can make: happy, sad, excited, worried, scared, horny. What her "roles" call for, she's got a gapped-mouth expression for it.

With Paris Hilton sextapes, Bratz dolls, and underwater princesses telling little girls to give up their voices for vaginas, America does not need another movie that preaches that sexiness is more important than intelligence. Boys matter more than books. A Master's Degree means nothing without money and make-up. Even if, by the end of the movie, the Playboy bunny learns that it's alright to stop stripping and start studying, I highly doubt the ends will justify the means.

But then again, I haven't seen the movie. I've only seen the trailer.

15 comments:

J.D. said...

Yeah, all that makes me dangerously depressed.

Of course the FILM has an ultimately less shallow message than "being pretty and fucking guys are more important than liking yourself". The FILM is actually kind of good. Actually, the FILM is very, very enjoyable. And Anna in the FILM is very good (but as a major fan, I was seriously disappointed). See the FILM or, no.

Legally Blonde is still better on all fronts, though.

Don@PetalumaFilms.com said...

Excellent points but Anna Faris was OUTSTANDING in SMILEY FACE. She seriously should have gotten some kind of special Independent Spirit Award for her performance of every stoner I've ever known. She's better than what she's been in I think...

Fox said...

Oh Scott!

You must go see it, my man. I think you may change your mind. In fact, what I think is brilliant about The House Bunny is that it baits those kinds of preconceptions into the theater (I had them as well...) and turns them around on you.

As for Anna being "talentless" and having her mouth shut... well... HOLD ME BACK J.D., HOLD ME BACK!!! :o)

elgringo said...

Well, J.D., I guess I'll have to see THE FILM and not just the trailer. I don't know though...it just seems so, so, so awful.

Don, I just added Smiley Face to my queue. You're not the first one to tell me that this isn't terrible. Thanks.

elgringo said...

Fox, you've got to admit, she's beaten the "hanging my mouth open" style to death. I made a collage to prove it, haha.

I will see The House Bunny. Maybe on DVD. Then I'll let you know what I think. Hopefully, what you guys are saying is true and it isn't the worst thing to happen to little girls since Bratz dolls.

J.D. said...

The FILM is actually kinda heart-warming? Sorta.

And Fox, if you wanna whail on Scott, I ain't gonna hold ya back. In fact, somebody get me a folding chair!

elgringo said...

Folding chair? I'll throw you and Anna Faris through a flaming thumbtack covered table wrapped in barbed-wire, old Mick Foley/Terry Funk Deathmatch style. Haha.

Fletch said...

This was brilliant. Looooove the collage.

You should make another for Gina Gershon. I loves me some Gershon, but I'm 99% sure that she is phsycially unable to close her mouth due to the structure of her upper lip. Makes for hot pics, but is really kinda sad.

I feel the same way about The House Bunny. No gracias.

Keith said...

I couldn't even make it halfway through the trailer...

elgringo said...

Thank you! I knew I couldn't be the only one.

Ross Williams said...

This does look pretty painful, and I plan on avoiding it, although I didn't dig as deep into the meaning of it all. I do like Anna Faris though and agree with Don that she was amazing in Smiley Face. It was a brave, way-out-there performance.

-Ross
What I Watched Last Night

Kevin Lehane said...

Anna Faris is far from talentless.

elgringo said...

Prove it.

Big Mike Mendez said...

The first Scary Movie, Lost in Translation, Brokeback Mountain, Just Friends, she has been really good in both good and bad movies.

I really dug the House Bunny man, there was a bunch of hot chicks looking hot and some clever sexual innuendo throughout. Besides, without Baby Mama, where are the female comedies this year? Because I was the only one laughing when I went to see The Women.

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