Month of Horror: The Missing Days

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

If any of the movies on this list deserve its own post, it's Behind the Mask. A mockumentary about a Michael Myers-style serial killer sounds like the equation for an unbearable gimmicky film but that's not the case here. Before the movie had ended, I had purchased my copy off of Amazon for a ridiculously low price. The only reason Behind the Mask made it into the Month of Horror schedule was because of its numerous inclusions on "Best Horror Comedy" lists I read through about four weeks ago. I should track down those list-writers and thank them. And you should thank me once you watch this and love it as much as I did. If I could recommend one movie from these 31 horrific days, this would be the one.

Misery
Misery is the best Stephen King adaptation that's ever been commited to film. And that's including 1408. This year, my Halloween costume consisted of a brown wig, a turtleneck top, a blue jumper, and a mallet. Anyone care to guess who I went as?

Zombieland

Zombieland is the best horror comedy since Shaun of the Dead (were there others?) and the type of movie I'll end up seeing in theaters multiple times. Waiting for an eventual DVD release just doesn't seem possible. The narrative is well-structured, the comedy is tight, and the movie is fun. Really fun. The only downside comes in Jesse Eisenberg's performance (picture Michael Cera-lite) which is only minorly bothersome.

The Entity

With all the hype swirling around Paranormal Activity (the most profitable movie of all-time), it was only a matter of time before someone mentioned The Entity in their review. That person wasn't going to be me, I'd never heard of The Entity before. Whitney's friend Jacob is the man to thank for hearing about this movie (through me, of course). This movie, like Behind the Mask, really deserved its own post but an overwhelmingly busy schedule just didn't allow it. Whether or not you enjoyed PA, the odds that you'll enjoy The Entity is high, really high, Cheech and Chong high. That is, if you can stand to watch a movie about ghost rape. Barbara Hershey (Hannah and Her Sisters) stars as a single mom who starts getting harassed by an unseen force. The attacks come at random with without explaination. Together, a duo of supernatual experts and Hershey decide to take on whatever's targeted her. The Entity will most likely end up on the MoH's Top 5 list. Ignore the terrible DVD cover art and watch the awesome movie.

Pumpkinhead

Want to know how bad Pumpkinhead is? The first thirty minutes are far more engrossing than the last sixty. It's always a bad sign when the titular monster shows up and the movie gets steadily worse and worse. Following a Southern father and his adorable Coke-bottle glasses-wearing son as they go through their daily rituals is 30x more interesting and watching Pumpkinhead exude lameness.

Stigmata

How to Ruin Your Daughter's Life in Three Easy Steps: Step One - Buy a stolen crucifix that used to belong to a beloved Latin American priest. Step Two - Mail it to her. Step Three - Actually, that's all you have to do. There is no step three. I guess, if you wanted to, you could tell her that she's adopted and that her birthparents were Osmonds. That'd suck. Stigmata looks so cool that, at times, you get distracted that the plot is stupid and the movie's not really worth watching.

Psycho

Caught Hitchcock's classic at a free screening at Utah's best theater, Brewvies, where you can get burgers, fries, corndogs, pizzas, beers, and pretty much whatever else you're in the mood for and eat during the screening. The crowd was unruly and the DVD was projected in the wrong aspect ratio which made for an unforgetable night. The cast looked like midgets and the crowd came up with a drinking game for everytime a "dead thing!" showed up on screen. Maybe it was the 90+ cuts, but by the time the infamous shower scene had ended, I had forgotten all about the game. That's when one guy hit his cue with perfect timing. "DEAD THING!" Great night. Lots of fun. The only downside was when my wife won a DVD copy of the Last House on the Left remake...what if she makes me watch it? At least our Month of Horror is almost over!

Black Sunday

Mario Bava's gruesome story about vengeful witch who gets The Devil's Mask nailed to her face in a major way. The opening scene to Black Sunday is unforgettable. The subsequent scenes...not so much. It's beautifully shot; the Italian exploitation movie uses light and shadows with an expertise usually reserved for German Expressionism. The narrative is lacking, and at time, boring, but if you're going to watch one of Bava's films, this should be the one.

Swamp Thing

A campy retelling of the Frakenstein legend. Wes Craven stood at bat twice, both as writer and director. The result of his comic book adaptation is an If Troma Has Money type of film that falls somewhere between Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze and that Captain America movie no one else seems to remember. When you're thirty days into your Month of Horror, Swamp Thing is a welcomed change of pace. It's worth watching just for the monsterous sword fight in the film's finale. It's the best fight scene since ZOMBIE VS. SHARK!

[Note: Sorry about the messed up indentations and any other uglified elements you're not used to seeing at He Shot Cyrus. Blogger has decided to be difficult lately and as much as I hate it, switching to a Dot Com just makes me queezy.]

[Note: Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it.]

Top 11 Female Death Scenes

Entertainment Weekly put out a list of the Top 25 Death Scenes. A quick glance can see that most of the classics are there. The Fargo woodchipper. T-1000 melting. Darth Vader with his mask off. They're all there. But what I noticed was the 4/5 of the list were dying men. Women can die just as good as men, have been since the beginning of time.

Death scenes can be depressing, powerful, exciting, gory, etc. Sometimes they have speeches preceding them. Other times the surprise is what makes them memorable. This list has it all. Here's the Top 11 Female Death Scenes.

11. Terms of Endearment

The most memorable scene of ToE is when the dying mother says goodbye to her sons. It isn't until a little later that she actually dies. But combine the two, and you've got a death scene worthy of being called "number 11."

10. Battle Royale

If you haven't seen this yet, then you're missing out. Forty-two teenage students are put onto an island. They're told that they have three days to kill each other. The last one alive gets to go home. If there's more than one left at the end of the three days, the collars they're all wearing explode creating space between their shoulders and their bowl cuts.

09. Kill Bill

Tarantino knows how to shoot a death scene. Actually, Norifumi Suzuki really knows how. The snow battle scene was an homage to his Sex and Fury (1973). A really bad "little off the top joke" would be in order if this wasn't such a classy establishment.

08. Tenebre

This one's not for the kiddies. It's the second bloodiest scene on the list. Dario Argento loves blood like I love Jack-in-the-Box Jalepeno Peppers dipped in tartar sauce. Don't knock'em 'til you try'em.

07. Bambi

Not as sad as the Artax/Swamp of Sadness scene. Turns out, Artax was a dude. Guess a dead mommy deer will have to do.

06. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This clip from How to Execute a Prisoner...Texas Style has inspired many of the state's greatest executions. Right after this clip, Leatherface shows us how the right spices can make or break your 4th of July BBQ.

05. Suspiria

Argento with another kick-ass death scene. The action comes about two minutes in. Be patient. It's worth it. I hadn't seen anything like this before.

The colors, children, the colors.

04. The Omen

Not quite the Pow-Pow-Power Wheels Damien had been hoping for for his birthday. But I guess this will have to do.

03. Assault on Precinct 13

Powerless without her twin brother Tony, Tia should have tried moving out of the way rather than stopping the bullet with her mind. Maybe she could have blocked it with her Star Case.

02. Thelma & Louise

Say what you will, this is a great death scene. Driving off a cliff instead of going to jail? Damn the Man! Women's lib all the way. Too bad Geena Davis' career is still lying at the bottom of that cliff.

01. Psycho

Speaking of women's lib, here's a scene of a sexy, wet, naked woman getting stabbed to death with a phallic object by a madman dressed up in women's clothing. Never really thought about like that until right now.

What are your favorite death scenes? Leave some comments and become eligible to be like Keith and win next month's HCSTCA!