Month of Horror - Day Eight: Joe Dante's Homecoming

"Holy Mother of Hip-Hop Jesus"

My second favorite place in the world is the Castro Theater in San Francisco. It's the city's 100th historical landmark and features beautiful architecture and live wurlitzer music. It was there that I first saw The Taking of Pelham One Two Three when they screened it on a double-bill with Network. Some of the best film-going experiences have been at the Castro. This is where Midnites for Maniacs marathons are held, including the 12-hour "Animals Attacking Humans" 5-film extravaganza. I volunteered for the San Francisco Silent Film Festival more than a couple times, during which I met famed film critic Leonard Maltin. The Castro will always hold a special place in my movie-loving heart.

I'll never forget the day my future wife and I hopped on a bus to catch a Saturday morning double feature: Gremlins 2 and Matinee. As much as I love the Gremlins movies, Matinee is one of my favorites of all time. Getting the chance to see it on the big screen was a rare opportunity. Getting the chance to meet Joe Dante was an even more rare opportunity. After the first film ended, I ran into the director in the lobby. There, we talked about Matinee and a number of his other films. It was awesome. I'm easily starstruck to begin with, but to really get to talk to one of my favorite filmmakers made my year.

Positive reviews for Dante's next film, The Hole, made me excited to see what he'd been working on for the past few years. That's when I discovered Homecoming, a film he directed for the Masters of Horror series. Here's the plot in a nutshell, America's recently deceased veterans aren't too happy with how their country's being run so they decide to come back and change things up--by voting. The zombies don't eat brains, they don't kill the innocents, they just stand in line like everyone else until they cast their ballots.

Let's get one point out of the way early, this film is less subtle than Crash. It's got a point to make and it's going to make it, no matter what. If you want to find out that point, you'll have to watch the movie...or rememer that Joe Dante is not Kelsey Grammer, Hollywood's only conservative.

Themes aside, let's get down to the hunky-gory. Zombies usually bring quite a bit of the old bloodguts but in this case, more violence happens to the undead than the living. Shame. Their legs are blown off, their bodies are shattered across car hoods, and even worse, their voting rights are in jeopardy. These Masters of Horror films are pretty hit and miss and this one is unfortunately is one of the latter. Instead of bashing on a lesser piece from (did I mention he was one of my favorite directors) Dante, I'd rather take this time to remember the brilliance.

Note: My favorite place in the world is Amoema Music on Haight

Meet the Feebles (1989)

Imagine an episode of The Muppet Show where Kermit shoots up heroin and has Vietnam flashbacks. Miss Piggy runs around naked with a machine gun. Ralph has a three-way with two cats and get infected with AIDS.

A decade before Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson made a nasty-ass puppet movie. Meet the Feebles. Gaining fame for his disgusting "splatstick" film, Bad Taste, the director began to raise financing for a project which would turn a familiar genre on its head. Thanks to a group iof Japanese investors, Jackson was able to release Feebles in 1989.

Feebles follows a theatre troupe as they prepare for a live television broadcast. The audience gets a behind-the-scenes look at the production and all the vile, perverted, illegal, and disgusting activities that ensue. You just haven't lived until you watch a fly eating shit--with a spoon--on the big screen.


This is the type of movies that gets passed around between junior high/high school kids, bootleg tape-style. That's how I first saw it. The "noise composer" who made short films on the weekend with the Bowie haircut/leather jacket combo at my school (every school has one) slipped me a tape of Feebles and Videodrome. Locked the bedroom door, popped it in the VHS player, kept the volume down low and watched the most stomach-wrenching flicks I'd ever seen. Then I passed the tape on to my friend Brad.

After that day, I was always talking about Meet the Feebles. Occasionally, I would run into someone who had seen it and we would reminisce over the "nasal sex" scene, the chickephant baby, and the Deer Hunter homage.

I was lucky enough to catch this on the big screen last weekend. Jesse Hawthorne, the host of Midnites for Maniacs, put together an unbelievable triple feature which just happened to take place on my birthday! The evening begun with a childhood favorite, Return to Oz, moved into Beetlejuice, and at midnight, closed with Meet the Feebles.

The Castro Theatre was packed when we showed up. By the time midnight rolled around most of the audience was still there. Ninety minutes of groans, gasps, and Oh My God's. Jackson's nasty-ass puppet movie still completely holds up. It's belly-laugh funny and gross-out disgusting right where it's supposed to be. Netflix has this one on "SAVE" so call up your local video stores and track down a copy. Or call up the lead singer from Snatch Sandwich (or whatever your town's band was called) and see if he still has that tape lying around next to his GWAR singles, syringe needle choker, and leftover copies of his zine.