Hollywood's Shittiest Months: May 2010

Iron Man 2 (May 7th): Can't wait. The first one was surprisingly kick-ass and now they've added Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, Scarlett Johansson, Don Cheadle, and are following through on their Sam Jackson cameo. I have no doubt that the first film's quality is carry over into the sequel. I will miss Jeff Bridges though.
He Shot Cyrus' Prolific Grade: A-

Babies (May 7th): Talk about Babies has been floating around for the past few months. The documentary follows four babies from around the globe for an entire year of their young lives. They've got babies from Tokyo, Nambia, San Francisco, and Mongolia. While this look incredibly adorable, I feel the need to plug another documentary seemingly related in theme: Ken Wardrop's His & Hers which interviews women from infancy to elderliness in an attempt to tell a single story. Babies looks really good. His & Hers is really good. I recommend them both.
He Shot Cyrus' Prolific Grade: B+

Just Wright (May 14th): A physical therapist (Queen Latifah) falls for a basketball player (Common) she's helping recover from a career-threatening injury. Let's hope it's closer to Brown Sugar than to Beauty Shop. And while I'd rather listen to an album starring these two, I'll gladly check out their movie. Would I recommend that you check it out? Don't know if I can go that far.
He Shot Cyrus' Prolific Grade: C+

Looking for Eric (May 14th): Social realist filmmaker Ken Loach has made another high-quality film that won't be seen by nearly enough people. It's Cannes debut and 89% rating on RottenTomatos might be enough to get some people (hopefully myself included) to give Loach a try but chances are...nobody's going to be looking for Looking.
He Shot Cyrus' Prolific Grade: A-

Robin Hood (May 14th): Hollywood: Did you hear that Russell Crowe's-- Me: No thank you. Hollywood: Just wait a sec, what would you say to a new Robin Hood-- Me: No thank you. Hollywood: Ridley-- Me: I said "No thank you!" Hollywood: But they made Gladiator! *I walk away*
He Shot Cyrus' Prolific Grade: C-

Letters to Juliet (May 14th): I'm open to romance in films. Someone recommends Four Weddings and a Funeral, I'm open. The Notebook? Sure, I'll give it a try. But when I read the synopsis of Letters to Juliet, I realized that I wasn't as open as I thought. As it turns out, the thought of watching Amanda Seyfried and Vanessa Redgrave allow fate to bring love into their respective lives on the streets of Verona makes me want to die. Or at least sleep. For a very long time. See this if you want but I'm skipping it.
He Shot Cyrus' Prolific Grade: B (for 'Boring')

Shrek Forever After (May 21st): They're really doing this, aren't they? The first was game-changing, the second was begged for, the third was graciously accepted but the fourth? Is there really that much more story to tell? I'm sensing a Land Before Time legacy approaching.
He Shot Cyrus' Prolific Grade: C+

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (May 28th): Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. *breath* Hahahahahahahahahahaha. No. No. Nononononononono! Ben Kingsley, help me out here.

He Shot Cyrus' Prolific Grade: D+

Sex and the City 2 (May 28th): I'm going to get hate for this but I don't care. I'm not a Prince of Persia type of guy. I'm a Sex and the City guy. I'll take a fluffy rom-com over a plotless action flick any day. No amount of Gyllenhaal shirtlessness and steroid abuse is going to convince me otherwise. I'd rather watch Kristen Davis talk about sex for two hours. But that's just me.
He Shot Cyrus' Prolific Grade: B+

His & Hers (Sundance Review)

What’s the best way to learn about women? Some would say it's by listening to women. Documentarian Ken Wardrop constructed his first feature-length film, His & Hers, by doing just that. Opening with a beautiful infant as she rolls around in her crib, the filmmaker compiles bits and pieces of interviews and stories and advice and complaints from seventy-six women from the Irish midlands. The youngest girls talk about their fathers and how cleaning your room is such a bother, especially when your sister can’t be bothered to help. The young women talk about boys. Those new to adulthood talk about wedding plans, pregnancies, and independence. As the film progresses, so do the ages of the subjects. Once a woman’s shown on camera, she’s never shown again. Each interview builds on those preceding. The result is seventy-six women, telling a single story, both separately and together, about life.

Surprisingly, the formula never grows tiresome. Staying with each woman for no longer than a few minutes, the film hits a rhythm where an interesting aspect or insight about a woman’s life is revealed, discussed, and/or observed and the narrative continues. These insights range from marital advice to revelations about coping and loss. With the exception of a couple women, the narrative primarily sticks to women and the opposite sex. Tales of fathers, boyfriends, and husbands, both living and passed on, are interwoven to create a powerful love story with all the pieces intact. Girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, etc. And while each woman contributes to the same story, the film’s purpose isn’t to show how similar women are to one another. His & Hers highlights the connectivity that people have with one another. These women can help tell the same story, not because they are the same person, or even the same type of person, but because this is a story that almost all people can tell.

Also, a quick side note: if the woman on the big blue tractor somehow happens to read this review, you should know that my wife and I think you’re rad.