He Shot Cyrus is giving back to our readers. We're doing so with the monthly Thanks For Writing contest.
Synopsis: The more comments you leave at He Shot Cyrus, the better chance you have of winning the monthly mystery prize.
Rules:
1. Every (substantial) comment someone leaves on a He Shot Cyrus post will earn an entry into the monthly drawing.
2. On the last day of every month a random drawing will occur. The first person who has their name drawn will win.
3. After the monthly winner is announced, that person has one week (7 days) to e-mail their name and mailing address to heshotcyrus@hotmail.com.
4. If the winner fails to send their name/address within a week, a new name will be drawn and that new winner will have one week to send in their information.
5. At the end of the year, ALL of the names will be thrown back into a hat and three GRAND PRIZE WINNERS will be selected. These prizes will be significantly bigger and better than the monthly prizes.
Sometimes you hear a phrase so many times that the meaning of the words becomes masked by a separate meaning. Take "Interview with the Vampire." I'd heard the movie title so many times that it became one word "Interviewwiththevampire" that only translated to "that Tom Cruise movie" or that "Anne Rice book." It wasn't until the movie opened in a San Francisco hotel room with Christian Slater preparing to interview a vampire that the proper context solidified.
There's one reason this was my first viewing. Vampires have a tendency to be boring. Zombies are my supernatural creature of choice. I'm aware that the only classifications between differing types of zombies are: fast and slow. But at least zombies don't ballroom dance or worry whether their outfits match. And if they did attend a fancy ball, it'd be to eat brains, not to socialize. And they wouldn't wait, just hanging around until their favorite song to finish, zombies get. down. to. business.
Interview with the Vampire isn't a boring film by any means. It's well constructed and the narrative is genuinely interesting. It's fair to say that Interview is the Gone with the Wind of bloodsucker flicks. The sets are impeccable and the acting, while at times over-the-top, is sufficient. And when Antonio Banderas shows up with his Cher-hair, the movie switches from epic to legendary. Kirsten Dunst gives her career-peaking performance and Brad Pitt continues to prove why he got paid all those checks covered in zeros.
The first half of this movie plays like a vampiric episode of "My Two Dads," which I am more than okay with. Adopting a young child can be hard for any couple--but when your adorable daughter starts hiding corpses in her room, wackiness is sure to ensue. If someone had told me that Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise were totally gay for each other, my list of Must-See Movies would have had a new addition long ago. For some reason, gay vampires seem much more interesting than straight ones. Turns out, gay vampires are a more common occurance than I thought. Anyone interested can read this B.A. Thesis entitled "The Vampire in Modern American Media 1975-2000" I found online. Don't worry, it's not mine.
The first things I want to do is thank Matt, Whitney, Taylor, and Rob for leaving comments last week on my Warriors post. I also want to announce that the poll question resulted in a three-way tie. The coolest gang names are: The Warriors, The Rouges, and The Baseball Furies. Thanks to all those who voted. Make sure you check out this week's question: If you had to fight one actor from The Outsiders which one do you think you could beat up?
This week, Whitney and I decided that we would come up with some cool Top 10 lists for you guys. If you don't know by now, Whitney writes for Dear Jesus. I don't want to ruin any surprises but her Top 5 is awesome! Go check it out and leave her thousands of comments.
As for my list, the idea came to me while I was putting the finishing touches on my Warriors post. Thanks again to Whit, Matt, and Taylor for the comments on that one. The Warriors has tons of great fights, most of them involving groups fighting each other. Their fights against The Baseball Furies and even the Punks were great but they lacked a certain something. Planning. Whitney and I were talking about the differences between a spontaneous fight and a scheduled rumble. That's what I'm talking about this week:
The Top 5 Movie Rumbles
While a fight scenes are almost always cool (there are, of course, certain exceptions), there's just something so rad about a rumble. You might be asking yourself, "What constitutes a rumble? How is a rumble different than a group fight?" Good questions. For clarity reasons alone, I decided to write up a short list of rules:
a. Planning - This is probably the most important guideline when trying to determine if what you're experiencing is a genuine, for-real rumble. There should be a set time and location. The park at midnight always seems to be a popular choice. Both sides meet up and no one starts fighting until one of the leaders says so. This is the coolest part of the brawl, the face-off. Each team sizes each other up. The fighters try to decide who they're going to hit first. This is the calm before the storm.
b. Participants - A rumble is a group effort. A team sport. Unless stated beforehand, bring as many guys as you know. Important note: bad fighters, weaklings, and wanna-be's make excellent decoys once the fists start flying.
c. Weapons - This is really up to the parties involved. Generally, there's a no-gun code amongst the participants but there's always a chance someone will bring a gun to a knife fight. Let's get serious now. Using a gun in a rumble might seem like a good idea, actually, it sounds like a really good idea...well, either way, it is not honorable. Honor is the most important aspect in every rumble, that's why so much planning goes into each one (see Rule A). But don't get too discouraged, just because guns aren't allowed doesn't mean you can't bring your bicycle chains, switchblades, steel-toed boots, sawed-off table legs with nails sticking out, or maybe your old VHS copy of Dante's Peak -- whatever you think'll hurt the most.
d. What Doesn't Count - For this list, there are certain scenes that didn't make the cut for various reasons. They may seem like they'd count but they're not bonafide rumbles. Some of these include:
1 vs. 100 Fight Scenes: One guy, usually a martial arts master fights a hundred cronies who, for some reason, can't figure out any attack strategy than attacking one-by-one until they all fall down. Movies that feature the 1 vs. 100 fight scene: The Matrix Revolutions,The Protector and Chan-wook Park's Old Boy.
The Epic Battle: I decided to keep huge army battles off the list. Sure, there's planning, teams, and violence, but they're no gritty street fight and that's what we're talking about today. Movies that feature the Epic Battle: Braveheart,Troy, and Lord of the Rings.
Okay, I think that covers it. Thanks for listening. On to the list!
Unfortunately, West Side Story did not make the top five.*
5. Big Trouble in Little China
The fun part about this rumble is the identification between the viewer and the film's main characters. In short, they don't know what's going on and neither do we. Jack Burton is stuck in his truck with his good friend Wang Chi when, out of nowhere, a gang of Chinese combatants makes their way down the alley. Burton freaks out and we feel for him. A rumble is going to take place with us in the middle.
The Big Trouble rumble (that's fun to say) meets all of the requirements. The participants: two large group of fighters both ready to put a serious beatdown to whoever enters their punch-kick-stab range. Planning: First off, the rumble starts at 1:23 into the clip. The gunfight at the beginning of the clip doesn't count. The rumble starts when both sides silently stare at one another. One guy yells and it's ON! Both sides rush the opposing line and it's "broken-bone-bloody-face time." The weapons: boards, swords, and karate kicks. Nice.
Wang Chi calls the rumble a "Chinese stand-off." This shouldn't be confused with a Mexican stand-off (See: Reservoir Dogs). Sadly, the rumble ends early when three bullet-proof lightning warriors show up and end the party early. While the fight lasted, it was filmed nicely. A good rumble scene depicts an absolute chaos. Flurries of bodies, weapons, and violence are intercut with clear shots of solitary acts of bodily harm: the snapping leg, the knife entering stomach, and even possibly, the coveted decapitation.
4. Anchorman
"I killed a man with a trident." That's all I'm going to say about this one.
3. Gangs of New York
It shouldn't be any surprise that Martin Scorsese's rumble would be the most gruesome. Daniel "Mr. Best Actor" Day-Lewis plays Bill the Butcher one of the most jaw-droppingly sadistic baddies in history. Of the entire list, this is the rumble with the most at stake. This one's for all the marbles. People die in this rumble...and not from a trident. They die from knives, hammers, clubs, and more.
Watch closely for one of the coolest headbutt shots in film history. There's even a Tyson-esque ear-bitting! A cool part about this one is that amidst the chaos a more focused conflict is coming to completion. Daniel Day-Lewis, the leader of the bad guys, squares off against Liam Neeson, the leader of the good guys. Even after multiple stabbings, you're not sure this one's over. It's this murder that sets the rest of the narrative in motion. Neeson's son witnesses the murder and vow to avenge his father's death.
2. The Outsiders
The original rumble. The one that started it all...well, at least for me. Ponyboy Curtis and the rest of the greasers against the rich-and-preppy Socs. I don't know where to start with The Outsiders rumble. It's got everything.
First off, the cast is incredible. You've got Patrick Swayze, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, C. Thomas Howell, and more. The setting is just as good. It's in the middle of the night, in an empty park, in the rain! What else can you ask for?
There's no weapons except fists and boots (and one parked car). Maybe someone could answer this for me? Who set that fire and why? It's only shown in that one shot and has no real reason to be there except to look cool. Hmmm...
Interesting fact: the first punch that C. Thomas Howell receives actually connected. He got swung on and bloodied in the first shot. Also, Tom Cruise took out one of his tooth caps to make it look like he really got beat up. Not quite method acting, but still cool.
The Outsiders is rad for its entirety. The rumble isn't the only awesome scene, by far. The Markett's "Out of Limits" plays as Ralph Macchio gets attacked by some Soc guys, which in turn sets up the rumble. Diane Lane plays the romantic lead, Cherry Valance. Referencing Robert Frost, Macchio's last lines "Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold." will live on in our hearts forever. This movie has everything you need.
1. Unknown Japanese Schoolgirl Rumble
To be honest, in my search for the top movie rumbles I came across this clip from some unknown Japanese movie. I had to share it with you. Not a lot of intro here, just let me tell you that it's crazy.
There they are, the TOP 5 MOVIE RUMBLES of ALL-TIME! If you agree, disagree, love me, hate me, or fall somewhere in the middle, let me know in the comments.
In keeping with tradition, here's some MP3's from the movies featured on the list.
This song is crazy funny. If you haven't seen Anchorman yet, I don't even want to know why. This is really Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, David Koechner, and Paul Rudd covering "Afternoon Delight." This MP3 is ripped from the music video so it's got some ad-libbing in there that's really great.
It had "Little Old Lady from Pasadena," "Last Kiss," "Leader of the Pack," and "She's Not There," along with this song, "Out of Limits" by The Marketts. Surf rock at its best. Believe me, you're going to want to hear this song, it's fantastic. It's featured during a Ralph Macchio fight scene (not a rumble) in The Outsiders.
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