Bigelow's Posters [Sorry, LAMB, this post took forever]

Blue Steel: This was the first of Bigelow's "Silver and Blue Floating Heads" poster series. Take a look down the line, K-19: The Widowmaker, Strange Days, and Point Break might have all been made by the same guy. But this floating head may not have been implemented out of pure laziness. Great imagery with her NYPD pin; the handgun looks sleek, and the boxing around the antagonist and her eyeline completely works.

Poster grade: B

K-19: The Widowmaker: "Get off my submarine!" The only acceptable part of this poster is the bottom left corner. The curding (spacing) between the letters work as well star between the "K" and the "19." They've created a strong, flag-shaped box that's stronger than the other 80% of the imagery used here. If I wasn't already familiar with K-19, I would have no idea that it was about a submarine. Is that what that's supposed to be? There is one positive thing to say about this poster: it wasn't any worse than the movie.

Poster Rating: D+

Strange Days: Like I said, Silver and Blue Floating Heads. And while it should be argued that, technically, this head has been cropped off and the shoulders are visible and that does make a big difference. That being said, the framing of this poster doesn't make any sense. They've boxed him up, I'm assuming, because they couldn't figure out any other way to implement the title text. And while the font is dated, I appreciate it for being different. The tagline, however, was played out back in 1995 and hasn't gotten any better. ''you know you want it?" No thank you.

Poster Grade: C

Near Dark: The black and white works with the background lighting. The image of a setting sun doesn't beat us over the head. The subtlety strengthens the overall look of the poster while enhancing the title/concept. Look how the words "Near Dark" are placed naturally over a stark black background. This is exactly what Strange Days couldn't pull off, hence its unnatural black boxes. The protagonists don't look like your typical horror-action heroes but instead of trying to hide their differences, the designer highlighted them by making them look like badasses anyway.

Poster Rating: B-

Point Break: There's nothing like watching a sunset while you're reading a movie title. It's hard to believe this poster didn't seem dated when it first came out. That being said, I can't deny these nostalgic feelings. Look at those presidents! They're holding guns! On a beach cliff! Underneath two floating man-babe heads. Keanu's hair might be the wettest hair on record. Point Break's poster is exactly as fun as the movie itself. That being said...take away the nostalgia, take away the movie's cult-classic status, and what are you left with? On one hand, you've got floating heads and ugly typeface. One the other, you've got one badass picture of presidents packing large arms.

Poster Grade: B+

The Hurt Locker: Amidst the storming army of floating heads and clunky, poorly colored fonts, The Hurt Locker's poster is more than refreshing. Its top third is too text-heavy but I could read that typeface forever. I'm practically in love. The imagery is gorgeous and compelling, highlights a key scene from the film. Note to all poster art designers, this (along with Moon's) is 2009 poster to beat. I don't care if you're designing a poster for She's Outta My League 2, step your game up.

Poster Grade: A

The Loveless: I having quite a few problems with this "poster." First, it's not really a poster, it's DVD art. Second, even though this movie came out before Streets of Fire (one of my favorite movies), this is a blatant SoF rip-off. And while the outfit, hair style, and general Dafoe imagery might not be enough to prove my case, look at the tagline. "We're going nowhere...fast." Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, may I submit to you: "Nowhere Fast" by Fire Inc. as lip-synced by DIANE LANE in STREETS OF FIRE! I rest my case.

Poster Grade: E for Effort. They tried to capitalize on the cult status of Streets of Fire. But they've been caught and for that they receive an "E," which is one letter before "F."

The Weight of Water: The gold seems so vibrant! It's almost blinding compared to the rest of these. Dividing a poster up into sections can be effective when done correctly. Instead of the lazy floating head technique, these squares can present themes, showcase stars, and even break up an otherwise monotonous poster. It's a shame that this poster doesn't quite pull it off. Cn I draw your attention to the center square. What about Sean Penn's chin, shirt, and wrinkly neck could make a designer think "highlight!" And it's right in the middle of the poster. If this were Hollywood Squares, his old skin would be Whoopi Goldberg. The Elizabeth Hurley square (rectangle) works. The sailing ship corner works too. Both other than those, I don't love this poster. Feels like I've been saying that a lot about Bigelow's posters.

Poster Rating: B-

District 9

Amidst the sea of positive reviews, a few lone vessels carry a different message: District 9 is undeserving of the praise it's receiving.  While it surely meets and exceeds the expectations for  a "summer blockbuster," the reviewers attempting to describe the film as anything but just that, a summer blockbuster, are painting an inaccurate picture.  Director Neil Blomkamp has constructed a flawed film that resorts to stereotypical undertones which seem out of place in such a state-of-the-art project.  

District 9's most serious problem comes with the film's portrayal of racial groups, specifically, the portrayal of all Nigerians as violent, cannibalistic savages.  Within the ninth district, the area of Johannesburg  where the government have placed the extraterrestrials, a gang of Nigerians (the only Nigerians represented in the film and who are only referred to as "Nigerians") extort the "prawns" through food scams and unfair trades.  

Besides their shady business deals, the entire Nigerian people are shown as voodoo/black magic practicing madmen.  A wild-maned woman dances around holding a bloody alien limb, encouraging the gang leader to feast upon the meat in order to gain supernatural powers.  The scene is reminiscent of the James Bond film Live and Let Die as well as countless older films and cartoons in which the dark man is depicted as savage.  

It's also not okay to subtitle the Nigerian characters when they speak English--especially when the equally incomprehensible white characters are not.

One reviewer who's been receiving much flack for his negative review of District 9 is New York Press' Armond White.  His review, entitled, "From Mothership to Bullship" has sparked a lot of controversy and name-calling.  The whole mess escalated as Roger Ebert stepped to White's defense only to renege shortly after.  Campaigns have been organized against White and hoards of online scribes have called for his job. 

What is it about D9  that's causing so many intelligent people to act so defensive/hostile against naysayers?  Is it because the film takes place outside of the U.S.?  Because it features arguably inaccurate allegories involving South African apartheid?  Or are bloggers just really happy to see a sci-fi flick a little different than the rest?  Whatever it is, the swarm of praise is getting ridiculous and what's disappointing about the whole situation is that films like Bigelow's The Hurt Locker will get pushed aside when it comes time to remember Summer '09.