Splice Review (Major Spoilers)

I know what you’re thinking. “Science-Fiction? BOR-ING. Science is boring by itself and fiction? No thank you. I prefer my disciplines to be fact-based and set in reality.” See, I did know what you were thinking. But like the Weather Girls, have I got news for you! Science is so much more than debating Pluto’s planet status and building pinwheels. Take Splice for example. Vincenzo Natali’s riveting documentary about two scientists (who are SO MUCH better looking than most scientists I know) who spliced together a whole bunch of animal DNA (a.k.a. blood) and human DNA (a.k.a. blood) and made a species which they call DREN but which I would have called Animan or Manimal.

Anyway, this director is really good because, unlike most documentaries, he really tried to stay away from the dreaded “floating heads” style of movie. For the most part, he really just lets the people tell their own story (except for DREN) who can’t speak English. There weren’t any subtitles but after a while you get used to it.

Anyway, these scientists have to hide their DREN because the government would NOT like the fact that these two made a creature of their own. Especially since the DREN is creepy looking. It was a pretty good thing that people didn’t know DREN existed at the time when they were making the movie or they would have freaked out. I almost freaked out and I had a movie screen in between me and the DREN! Needless to say, things start going wrong and quick! Turns out, DREN has a tail with a spike in it (I think it came from either the scorpion DNA (a.k.a. blood) or the human DNA (a.k.a. blood).

Anyway, the DREN’S face reminded me of this.

What was really incredible about the movie was how close the filmmaker could get to the creature without it ever attacking him. I mean, the DREN jumped at the camera a lot but the story kept going on so I guess he was always alright. One part that made me sad was when the boy scientist and the girl scientist were having relationship problems.

And then Adrian Brody fucked his creature-daughter.

The End.