He Shot Cyrus

I'm New Here

2011-06-13T10:41:00.001-07:00

Hello He Shot Cyrus Fans!

Your waiting and patience will hopefully be rewarded. As been mentioned on the excellent Frankly, My Dear podcast (which you should check out on the link on the right side over there) Scott has been incredibly busy doing episodes of that with his wife Whitney and has recently been doing more movie reviews over at the excellent redesigned film hub for all the great film bloggers out there called Man, I Love Films. With all that going on he didn't want to let this blog, He Shot Cyrus, go to waste. Well fear not, because it is back.

My name is Daniel Kielman. I went to film school with Scott and have been a guest on a few episodes of Frankly, My Dear and love film as much as him. And hip hop I would argue as well. So naturally I'm taking over his blog, or at least going to be the main contributor for the future at the moment.

I have a lot of great plans for it and have been preparing posts for some time now and am ready to start putting stuff on here. So expect updates on a much more regular basis, possibly even daily if I can really get everything together, and I'll try to give you some of his classic bits in a new light and also some new features as well.

Often times I will link directly to any posts I or Scott make over at Man, I Love Films because they are posts written by us so naturally they should get some love here too. But over here is a much more, how you say, monarchy, where anything and everything film-related will be posted and we'll see how that goes with feedback and hits.

To tell you a little more about myself here's a little history for me and some of my favorite films:

I was born and raised in Sacramento, CA. I got my Bachelor's and Master's of Fine Arts in Cinema at San Francisco State University. I currently work a few odd jobs to get by but mostly do this film writing as a labor of love. If anyone would like to offer me a cool million, or even a cool one hundred, to write about film I'm sure we can talk.

Outside of film my interests are concerts (I attend many throughout the year, I've considered blogging about these adventures too but I'm not sure if people really care that much about it), playing music (play a few instruments, learning violin at the moment), making films (only short ones under my belt), teaching, writing, reading, video games and many other odd things I'm sure will come out in my writing. Or if you have questions feel free to ask.

Here is a list of some of my personal favorite films for whatever reason:

Magnolia, Notorious, High Fidelity, Persona, Casablanca, Dr. Strangelove, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, and a ton of other films that I can't think about at the moment.

So expect some more articles soon and I'll try to keep things relevant and interesting and do Scott's visitors justice.

Best Movies I've Watched This Year

2011-01-15T09:30:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to watch as many of my "100 in 2011" list before Sundance starts and so far, I've been doing pretty well. It's only Jan. 14th and I've already marked twelve movies off of my list. That's 12%! And so far, three of the movies really stand out among the rest.

Fritz the Cat (1972) - This one's a mindtrip. An X-rated cartoon featuring animals. It's pretty safe to say that Fritz had some sort of influence on Meet the Feebles. Based on Robert Crumb's comic strip of the same name, this sex-filled, profanity-laced adult cartoon was directed by animator Ralph Bakshi (The Lord of the Rings, American Pop) and instantly became a cult classic.

The most memorable scene is the one where Fritz takes three hippie girls back to his bathtub and tries to have a four-way with them but it's not long before the other animals in his building decide to join him, turning it into a 7-or-8-way and once they start smoking weed, everything gets crazy. Soon, two cops (animated as fat, disgusting pigs) show up and break up the party. Fritz is left with one option, to flush himself down the toilet and leave his new friends behind.

Rashomon (1950) - I have a pretty limited knowledge of Kurosawa. I've seen Throne of Blood, High and Low, and most of Seven Samurai. That's why he's the most named director on my "100 in 2011" list.

Rashomon is fantastic. The plot involves a married couple who's life is forever altered by a bandit (Toshiro Mifune). The wife is raped and the husband is murdered but due to how Kurosawa tells the story, you never hate the bandit. The story recalls events from four different perspectives: the wife's, the husband's (told through a medium), the bandit's, and a witness'. Each story they tell recalls the same general events but the differences are in the details.

I'm really glad I finally watched Rashomon. It's opened me up to watching more Kurosawa which is good condering he shows up on my "100 in 2011" so many times. I just wish I hadn't followed it up with Surf Nazis Must Die.

Very Bad Things (1998) - Where the fuck was this one hiding? If you want to know what kind of movies I love, watch Very Bad Things. Sex, gore, violence, bromance. What else do you need? It's a shame that Peter Berg didn't make more movies like this. From the look of his filmography, he's more of a studio director than an auteur. Very Bad Things is for anyone who loved Swingers or Made (and not just because it starts Jon Faverau). It's like Swingers and Made had a little brother who suffered from violent bouts of insanity. And apparently, someone locked up Very Bad Things down in a basement somewhere because somehow, I hadn't seen it until this morning.

Happy Birthday, Walter Hill

2011-01-10T12:31:00.000-08:00

Empire Records

2011-01-10T10:25:00.000-08:00

Empire Records is less uplifting once you realize the internet would have eliminated their business within the next twelve months.

100 Films I Will Watch in 2011

2011-01-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

A Boy and His Dog

A Fistful of Dollars

A Prophet

A Woman Under the Influence

Aguirre, Wrath of God

All About Eve

All the Real Girls

Amadeus

Amarcord

Angel Heart

Apocalypse Now

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman

Barbarella

Blow Up

Body Heat

Bringing Out the Dead

Cane Toads

Class of Nuke'Em High

Cool As Ice

Das Boot

Death Race 2000

Doctor Zhivago

Dr. Strangelove

Duck, You Sucker

El Topo

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Fireworks

Flirting with Disaster

For a Few Dollars More

Fresh

Fritz the Cat

From Here to Eternity

Gerry

Ghost in the Shell

Harold and Maude

Heavenly Creatures

High Noon

It's a Wonderful Life

King Kong

La Dolce Vita

Last Tango in Paris

Lawrence of Arabia

Lost Highway

Lost in America

Monty Python's The Life of Brian

Nashville

No Direction Home: Bob Dylan

Once Upon a Time in the West

Ordinary People

Pandora's Box

Passion of Joan of Arc

Playtime

Ran

Rashomon

Requiem for a Dream

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Scenes from a Marriage

Series 7: The Contenders

Seven Samurai

Shampoo

Shane

Singin' in the Rain

Slap Shot

Sling Blade

Soldier

Spartacus

Sunset Blvd.

Surf Nazis Must Die

Swing Time

The Bridge on the River Kwai

The Deer Hunter

The Elephant Man

The Endless Summer

The Godfather Part III

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Grapes of Wrath

The Holy Mountain

The Killing of a Chinese Bookie

The Last Temptation of Christ

The Magnificent Seven

The Plague Dogs

The Proposition

The Red Shoes

The Sweet Hereafter

The Thin Red Line

The Third Man

The White Ribbon

The Wild Bunch

Umberto D.

V for Vendetta

Very Bad Things

Walking and Talking

West Side Story

White Dog

Wings of Desire

Withnail & I

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Y Tu Mama Tambien

Yankee Doodle Dandy

Sorry

2010-06-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't a post to announce a film adaptation of the movie Sorry. Although, I'm sure it's coming. This is an Apology post for the lack of Regular posts on HSC as of late.

As most of you know, Whitney and I launched a weekly film podcast called Frankly, My Dear. We hit the ground running about a month ago and have beeen extremely, extremely pleased with the feedback everyone has given us. A lot of people are listening and we couldn't be more happy about it.

But the show takes a lot of preparation and I haven't has the time to post as frequently as I'd like to on He Shot Cyrus.

I'm going to try my hardest to post more. But we are considering moving the Thanks for Writing contest over to FMD. Let me know what you think of this.

Frankly, My Dear Podcast

2010-06-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

There's a reason I haven' been posting as frequently as usual. Whitney and I started a podcast. It was way more difficult than I would have thought but totally worth the work. The first two episodes are up on iTunes and Podomatic. We've got movie reviews, Top 5 lists, and theme music!

So here's the link if you want it.

http://franklymydearpodcast.podomatic.com

And you can also subscibe to our show on iTunes.

If you have a podcast, or if you listen to film podcasts, leave a comment with the link and I'll definitely check it out. Thanks!

Splice Review (Major Spoilers)

2010-06-09T15:01:00.000-07:00

I know what you’re thinking. “Science-Fiction? BOR-ING. Science is boring by itself and fiction? No thank you. I prefer my disciplines to be fact-based and set in reality.” See, I did know what you were thinking. But like the Weather Girls, have I got news for you! Science is so much more than debating Pluto’s planet status and building pinwheels. Take Splice for example. Vincenzo Natali’s riveting documentary about two scientists (who are SO MUCH better looking than most scientists I know) who spliced together a whole bunch of animal DNA (a.k.a. blood) and human DNA (a.k.a. blood) and made a species which they call DREN but which I would have called Animan or Manimal.

Anyway, this director is really good because, unlike most documentaries, he really tried to stay away from the dreaded “floating heads” style of movie. For the most part, he really just lets the people tell their own story (except for DREN) who can’t speak English. There weren’t any subtitles but after a while you get used to it.

Anyway, these scientists have to hide their DREN because the government would NOT like the fact that these two made a creature of their own. Especially since the DREN is creepy looking. It was a pretty good thing that people didn’t know DREN existed at the time when they were making the movie or they would have freaked out. I almost freaked out and I had a movie screen in between me and the DREN! Needless to say, things start going wrong and quick! Turns out, DREN has a tail with a spike in it (I think it came from either the scorpion DNA (a.k.a. blood) or the human DNA (a.k.a. blood).

Anyway, the DREN’S face reminded me of this.

What was really incredible about the movie was how close the filmmaker could get to the creature without it ever attacking him. I mean, the DREN jumped at the camera a lot but the story kept going on so I guess he was always alright. One part that made me sad was when the boy scientist and the girl scientist were having relationship problems.

And then Adrian Brody fucked his creature-daughter.

The End.

Doug Comic

2010-06-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

Matthew from Culture Kills e-mailed this awesome (and slightly disturbing) Doug comic drawn by H. Caldwell Tanner from LOLDWELL.com. This has an American Splendor feeling to it mixed with a little noir. I hope this is part of a series. Thanks, Matthew!

Why Didn't They Tell Me About THIS EITHER?

2010-06-03T14:07:00.001-07:00

They put "California Dreams" on DVD???
Damnit! All the wasted time!

Netflix, here I come.

Why Did NO ONE Tell Me About This?

2010-06-03T11:11:00.001-07:00

Jimmy Fallon put a "California Dreams" reunion together?

Why Did NO ONE Tell Me About This?

Guess We Found Our Third

2010-06-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. Rue McClanahan, Dennis Hopper, and Gary Coleman.

Thanks For Writing - May 2010 Winner

2010-06-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

The comments were counted. The name was drawn. May 2010's Thanks for Writing winner is none other than Simon from Four of Them. He really put the work in this month and I appreciate it. She has one week to send her name & mailing address to heshotcyrus@hotmail.com

A huge thanks to everyone who contributed comments this month. Reading your comments makes the work worthwhile. And if you didn't win, don't worry, this month's contest begins...NOW!

Miraculous Merch: Belgian "Escape to Witch Mountain" Poster

2010-06-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

I love foreign posters for American movies. The artwork is usually more interesting. The text is in another language. And it gives you a familiar-but-not-quite feeling.

Escape to Witch Mountain was one of my favorite movies growing up. That's why I tracked down a copy of the Italian version of its poster. MovieGoods is selling the Belgian version (pictured above) for $19.99 and it's almost as cool as the one I own. Buy it.

He Shot Cyrus Featured in The Guardian!

2010-05-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

Um...something pretty exciting happened today. I received an e-mail from Adam Lowes from Max Fischer's Film Club telling me that my blog had been featured in The Guardian's weekly entertainment supplement "The Guide."

For those who don't know, The Guardian is one of England's longest running newspapers. It was founded in 1821, became ridiculously successful and eventually spawned Guardian.co.uk which is where my post on how Lethal Weapon spawned an uncountable number of pretty terrible buddy cop movies was featured. The post was a part of Mike Lippert's "27 Greatest Movies That Made Going to the Movies Suck" event.

Here's a link to my post.

And here's a link to where I was mentioned.

Seeing as The Guardian is "one of the highest-traffic English-language news websites," there's a good chance that I might have some European visitors making their way over to my humble site over the next couple days. So I'd like to give a huge thanks to Johnny Dee for giving me the shout-out and give these potential fans a little info about me.

1. My favorite movie is The Warriors. Cult classic, gang warfare, it inspired my blog's name.

2. People yell "Superbad" at me on a weekly basis. They think I look like Jonah Hill.

3. On an ironic note, the movie Superbad is a pretty close depiction of my high school life.

4. I watched over 450 movies last year.

5. I have two tattoos. One of Doug. One of Skeeter.

6. I started wearing suit jackets after watching Superbad. I guess I've been asking for it.

That's about it. Thank you, England! I'm out!

Gary Coleman, Dennis Hopper, Who's Next?

2010-05-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

Death comes in three and I'm taking bets.

Who do think will be the Gary Coleman/Dennis Hopper three?

James "Professor X" McAvoy?

2010-05-28T15:28:00.000-07:00

According to my secret source (the internet), James McAvoy is slated to play Professor X in in X-Men: First Class. I want your thoughts on this. Is this a huge mistake or just what this movie needed?

Miraculous Merch: NES Cartridge JAWS Clock

2010-05-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

Just wait until you geeks get a load of this!

BLAM! Nintendo + Movies + Time! What more could you ask for? Etsy seller GeekGear is selling these NES cartridge clocks for $17.99. This is the only movie-themed clock but there's something about a Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt combo clock that makes my inner-child jump up and down.

My Best Post Blog-a-Thon: DAY THREE

2010-05-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks for checking out DAY THREE of HE SHOT CYRUS' "MY BEST POST BLOG-A-THON" where film bloggers from around the world have sent in the one post that best represents who they are, what they're trying to say, and what they can bring to the table.

I'm going to leave comments on each of these posts and I'm asking you to do the same, especially if you've sent in a link. Comment until it hurts. Eyes straining. Fingers bleeding. Head exploding (a la Scanners). That's what this event is all about. And please leave a comment here telling me which post is your DAY THREE FAVORITE.

Yojimbo_5 at Let's Not Talk About Movies is a walking film school. He's got classic tastes as can be seen on is list of Anytime Movies. Check out the write-up on Citizen Kane as well as the rest of his choices.

Heather at Movie Mobsters is one third of my favorite movie sites around (the aforementioned "Movie Mobsters".) She's guest-starred on podcasts, she loves Natalie Wood as much as I do, and best of all, she's added Slash guitar solos to your favorite movie scenes. Good God, this post was eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepic!

Christian Kocinski at All Things Kocinski is gutsy. He's got some pretty ballsy things to say about Wes Anderson. He reflects on his love for Rushmore and Tenenbaums and goes in pretty hard on the others. And you know what? He makes some good points.

Univarn at A Life in Equinox might watch as many movies as I do. I know he put my Month of Foreign to shame last month with his endurance-proving Kurosawa marathon. His post on "The Women of Kurosawa" made me ask "Wait, there were women in Kurosawa movies?" This is a very smart article that deserves a read. Also, he received FIVE LAMMY nominations so that's got to be worth something. I know some really great bloggers who only received...three.

Marc at Go, See, Talk refuses to let us live in ignorance. He asks the question whose answers could shake me to my very core. I don't want to give anything away but you need to get in on this. He's already received 96 comments! You know you want to read this post!

Steve at The Film Cynics is one of the co-hosts of The Cynical Podcast and The Cynical Videocast. Aside from being an active film reviewer, he's also a movie detective. A sharp eye and an even sharper brain began to put the pieces together for what would become one of my my favorite film-related mysteries. Movies have always showcased things I'll ever be able to afford but Steve's mystery involves something that my entire family couldn't afford if we all pitched our life savings in together. Intrigued? Click the link.

Chris at 1001: A Film Odyssey has quite an imagination. His alternative ending to The Great Train Robbery includes lines like "What you been smokin'?" and "We is in something called a movin' picture." It's a rootin' tootin' cowboy romp over at 1,001. And if you like it, check out his other alternative movie histories.

The Dive Mistress at Zombots! has written a helpful manual for babysitters in peril. Are you a babysitter who often takes jobs in remote areas in houses with a lot of knives? If this sounds familiar, then you really ought to read this great post. Even if it doesn't sound familiar, you really should still read this.

Gringo at He Shot Cyrus is self-promoting. He wrote this semi-decent post about casting the Office movie. Jim, Pam, Michael, Dwight. The whole group is there. And I don't want to give anything away but one of the actors is a member of the Wu-Tang Clan. Check it out if you fell like it. Again, it's semi-decent at best.

Whitney at Dear Jesus is the sexiest woman in blogging (Perez Hilton included). I love her. I married her. I occasionally read her posts. But I read this one and recommended it to everyone I know. She asked the question "What if my favorite directors has directed the Alice in Wonderland remake?" Gus Van Zant, Sofia Coppola, David Lynch, and even Lars von Trier! It's a quick read and I wholly recommend it.

Matthew at Culture Kills...wait, I mean cutlery gave me an award once. I'm pretty sure it was for a video of Bert and Ernie singing the hardcore M.O.P. anthem, "Ante Up." But that was decades ago, we're here today to talk about The BIg Lebowski and the L.A. riots. If that doesn't make you click the link, maybe the nudity will. (Note: He Shot Cyrus does not guarantee the appearance of nudity that may or may not be in Matthew's great post.)

Novroz at Novroz' Favorite Things tricked me with a web address that ended in "beatles-vs-abba/." I thought, "how can this be movie related?" And then I clicked the link to find a comparative post of two movie musicals. Can you guess which ones? One features the music of The Beatles and the other one features Abba's greatest hits. Click the link to confirm your guesses.

Bob at Eternal Sunshine of the Logical Mind watches better movies than I do, writes about them better than me, can think of a better word for "better" than "better." Basically, I want to be this guy. His review on Grace, Milly, and Lucy...Child Soldiers accomplishes everything it should be. It introduced me to a movie I'd never heard of before and convinced me to track down a copy by any means possible. Can't wait to see it.

Bryce from Things That Don't Suck is a demon to some and an angel to others. I haven't decided which he is to me...but he did slaughter my whole family and turn my house into salt. Now that I think about it, he might be God. But back to the topic at hand. Five Finger Death Punches, long white beards, and death, death, death. Of course, I'm talking about Kill Bill Vol. 2. Bryce's review on my 4th favorite Quentin Tarantino movie almost convinced me to bump it up the list.

Colin at Against the Hype is a proud Chicago Phoenix originally hailing from Singapore. He's written a MUST-READ post! Seriously, at first I thought that "Lust, Caution and Mahjong" might not have anything to offer me but I was horrendously wrong. I can't spoil just how brilliant this post is but it caught me completely off guard!

Smacdonn at 7 Dollar Popcorn mixes one of my favorite things (killing zombies) with one of my least favorite (family holidays, just kidding, parents). 7 Dollar Popcorn is such a fun blog. Vanilla Ice music videos, blog-a-thon participation, and gutsy statements (No Country For Old Men under the "Worst Movies I've Seen This Year" list? That's right, I did my homework, haha.) Smacdonn gets a big Thumbs-Up from me.

Mike at You Talking to Me? is awesome. If you haven't been reading his "Great Movies That Made Going to the Movies Suck" super event (especially my Lethal Weapon post, wink wink) then...well, you should. He writes for Suite101, has a mesmerizing icon, and writes about the types of movies that I love. For example, his Best Post is called "Why Jason Patric Should Be in Every Movie." Jason Patric starred in The Lost Boys (an 80s classic (the type of movies I love)) but sort of fell into obscurity after that. A sidenote, Mike feels the same way about Jason Patric as I do about Timothy Olyphant.

Neil at The Agitation of the Mind chose one of his Personal Faves for his Best Post. There's a good chance he picked one of your favorites too. His review of Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven is well-written, well-thought out, and a great read. Some of his other favorites include Little Dieter Needs to Fly, Dirty Harry, and The Wild Bunch. So, you can see, Neil's got pretty good taste.

Marc at The Projector Has Been Drinking should never join The LAMB because I've already got enough competition for Best Blog Name. Note that the projectionist isn't drunk, I'm sure he's quite sober. The machine itself has taken up the sauce and we all know that can't be good. For Marc's Best Post, he recapped his nobel work with the National Film Preservation Society. These guys are like the X-Men of film preservation. This is one of my favorite posts yet.

Ronan at Filmplicity always chooses the best pictures. Go look at his More About Meme entry, haha. And you should also go read this Best Post entry which I will name "The Bashing of 2012." He keeps things short, to the point, and pretty damn vicious. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Erich at Acidemic is extremely accomplished. The man lives a lavish life in Manhattan, has written for McSweeney's!!!, and lists Psilocybe Cubensis as one of his interests. I'll let you Google it. His Best Post is an impressive post about movie Giant (and its Hot Younger Sisters). I loved this post and decided to close things out with it.

Thanks to EVERYONE who sent in links for the 2nd MY BEST POST BLOG-A-THON! If you sent in a link and I somehow missed it, please leave a comment with the link and I'll add it in. And again, please read all of these great posts and LEAVE COMMENTS on all of them! My

My Best Post Blog-a-Thon: DAY TWO

2010-05-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

Thanks for checking out DAY TWO of HE SHOT CYRUS' "MY BEST POST BLOG-A-THON" where film bloggers from around the world have sent in the one post that best represents who they are, what they're trying to say, and what they can bring to the table.

Ms. Go at D.C. Girl at the Movies is known for discussing the issues that revolve around race, ethnicity, and film. She's always quick to point out something offensive and I secretly wish she'd read my thesis on inner-city high school movies just to experience her intellectual critique. Her Best Post takes on James Cameron's titanic film, Avatar. You see what I did there?

Matt Overstreet at The 8th Circuit speaks my language. His rant on the live-action Marmaduke movie makes me wish for the days before computer graphics. He and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye on Family Circus (just kidding, we totally do) but we completely agree on how bad of an idea this talking dog movie (adapted form a NON-talking dog comic strip) is going to be.

Marshall at Marshall and the Movies is quickly becoming one of my favorite bloggers. I like the movies he chooses to talk about, his site's layout is appealing, and he and I run similar comments contests. His Best Post drops some retrospective knowledge about Avatar. It's a pretty comprehensive post so get ready to think.

Amy Wong's post caught me off guard. When I read "Top East Asian Suggestions" I thought I was going to be reading about movies, not looking at pictures of beautiful women. But look at them I did. For a while. Then I added some movies to my Netflix queue, which is probably the desired result from a post like this. Upset at the lack of Asian actresses on TopEllen's Hot 100 list, Amy took matters into her own hands and made the prettiest post yet.

Daniel at Getafilm is a self-proclaimed selfless hero. Just kidding, but he is a hero. He single-handedly took on Hollywood's fat cats with a sternly-worded letter. This letter sent shockwaves through the industry, causing studio executives to spit out their coffee and take a stand against garbage. The next decade was filled with poignant stories about well-developed characters living real-life experiences. Okay, well, that's what's going to happen. This Best Post made me laugh, cry, and give up any dreams of screenwriting I was still clinging onto.

RTM at FilxChatter has some very, very sound advice for actors and filmmakers who want to make movies with accents. Everyone can name a movie they've seen featuring a terrible accent. K-19: The Widowmaker always pops into my mind first. Go read this post. It's got a lot of common sense.

Meaghan at Wild Celtic gets a little personal with us in her Best Post. Her write-up on movies, memories, and film-going experiences is exactly the type of post I love to read. My favorite posts are the ones that tell me something I didn't already know. For example: You know that the movie Sweet Home Alabama isn't very good. So a review of Sweet Home Alabama wouldn't do you much good. But what you didn't know is that during a screening of Sweet Home Alabama, a strange man sat next to me in the theater and waited until the climactic romantic kiss before he put his hand on my thigh. Needless to say, I stood up, became extremely confrontational, and watched him look around the theater frantically, find his afro-headed girlfriend two rows in front of us, and flee to the woman he thought he was feeling up. Bet you didn't know that! And while Meaghan's post doesn't have focus on mistaken identity and sexual molestation, it's still a great post that I enjoyed a lot.

Luke at Journalistic Skepticism's Best Post is a "Best Of" post where he works through his thoughts on each Best Leading Actress nominee's performance. The post covers ten years of Oscar history and has some easy-to-read grades for each lady. The "B" he gave Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side made me wince but the "A" he gave Gabourey Sidibe makes up for it.

DJ from Matte Havoc has met Freddy Kruger. Don't believe me? Go to his site and see the picture. But meeting infamous movie killers isn't what he chose to write about in his Best Post. Instead, DJ studies the early innovations of silent film director F.W. Murnau. From camera movements to the use of color prints, Murnau's finalized projects were not only innovative but inspiring to generations of filmmakers to come. Great write-up here. Go learn yourself something.

Robert from His Eyes Were Watching Movies lists his Top 15 Animated Films of the Decade. Spoiler Alert: Planet 51, Over the Hedge, and Home on the Range did not make the cut. This is the type of post that can bring a hearty carnivore like me and a healthy vegetarian like Robert together in film blogger unity.

Frederick from My Monster Memories needs to win some LAMMYs for his great posts and extensive coverage of the horror and science fiction movements of yesteryear. The imagery he chooses is ssssoooooo rad. I don't know where he gets his hands on that stuff. The Best Post he chose tells the disturbing tale of a childhood dream. Read it, you'll love it. I did, and I did.

M. Carter at the Movies is high-quality. Her blog layout is high-quality. Her analytical skills are high-quality. The same goes for her writing style, participation in the blogging community, and her site overall. Choosing a Best Post must have been hard but she did it: a review of Jindabyne (2006) that reminded me that I still haven't seen this like I thought I had. Whoops.

Andrew from Encore's World of Filmmaking and TV does a lot with his Best Post. He give a quick Jane Campion shout-out while snoring through Meryl Streep's Julia and Julia performance and weighing the strengths and weaknesses between Avatar and The Hurt Locker. Oscar season 2010 is in full effect over at Encore's World of Filmmaking and TV.

Matt from Chuck Norris Ate My Baby is a "lifelong horror fan" that holds awesome contests and writed in-depth reviews of pretty looking Asian moves. Kim Ki-duk's 3-Iron is the subject of Matt's Best Post. And while I'm pretty sure he's my main compitition for the "Best Blog Name" LAMMY, I still have to recommend that you check out his site.

Mark from Black Hole Reviews introduced me to a movie named Michael Gough and a movie called Black Zoo. Unfortunately, this awesome sounding movie isn't on DVD but I WILL track a copy of it down. Listen to this tagline: Fang and Claw Killers Stalk the City Streets! Black Hole Reviews is a new site in my blog-o-world but Mark lured me in with his talk of dangerous apes and tigers so I'll definitely be back for more.

This Guy Over Here asked me a question that I sadly had to answer with "No, no, and no." The shame is overwhelming. Go read his post and see if you're a stronger cinephile than I. He watched over 1,000 movies between 2000 and 2009 and his great looking site gives its lucky readers a look at the best of them.

The Mad Hatter from The Dark of the Matinee has been blogging since 2007. He's a giant celeb in the movie blogging community and I feel proud to have him participate in the event. This is an important article about the relationship between writing, movie-watching, and the toll that blogging can take on movie fans.

Stacia from She Blogged By Night is who I voted for for the "Best Blog Layout" LAMMY. She understands the importance of aesthetics along with the importance of high-quality writing. Escape my ugly blog by visiting hers. Her write-up on The House of Mirth was not only informative (did you know that Scully made non-X-Files movies?) but interesting to read.

My Best Post Blog-a-Thon: DAY ONE

2010-05-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

Thanks for checking out DAY ONE of HE SHOT CYRUS' "MY BEST POST BLOG-A-THON" where film bloggers from around the world have sent in the one post that best represents who they are, what they're trying to say, and what they can bring to the table.

I've left comments on each of these posts and I'm asking you to do the same, especially if you've sent in a link. Comment until it hurts. Eyes straining. Fingers bleeding. Head exploding (a la Scanners). That's what this event is all about. And please leave a comment here telling me which post is your DAY ONE FAVORITE.

Derek from Son of Double Feature is well-known for his eleven word movie reviews but today his brings us a special conversation with his 5-year-old self. Young Derek goes down his Top 5 Movies of All-Time list. His number #1 pick was the first movie I saw in theaters!

Simon from Four of Them is a frequent commenter on He Shot Cyrus along with quite a few other sites. She's a force to be reckoned with and if you don't believe me, ask Teddy Roosevelt. In her Best Post, she breaks down the ending of Donnie Darko with a level of expertise that even Richard Kelly doesn't have. She answered a lot of my questions.

Hal from Forget the Popcorn met Wes Anderson once. But don't think that that swayed his choices for Top 10 of 2009. Fantastic Mr. Fox is nowhere to be found. Neither was my number one pick (Precious). Great list with interesting write-ups.

Caleb from Who is the March King? has the guts to say it. War films are boring. Take that, Patton! Take that, Tora! Tora! Tora! Glove slapping doesn't quite have the impact it once did. And honestly, after Star Wars, why would you even bother to make a battle scene without Blasters?

Marty from Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot runs one of the best B-movie, horror, sci-fi blogs out there. From filmmaker interviews to detailed Star Trek episode analyses, you're always in for something entertaining here. His Best Post dives into the episode "Spock's Brain" where a hot space babe literally takes Spock's brain. I learned a lot here, both about the history of Star Trek and about how to protect my brain from hot space babes.

Kai B. Parker from The List wants to live through the zombie apocalypse. I have no idea why. When that day inevitably comes, I want to be the first die. But only because I can't handle the stress. Click the link to read Kai's guide to making it through the world's most horrific catastrophe since Battlefield Earth.

Mrsemmapeel from House of Mirth and Movies has done us all a service. Read this post! Enough time has past without a Female Film Canon. From A Room with a View to Window Water Baby Moving (which is one of the most amazing experimental movies I've ever seen), the list is comprehensive, thorough, and (according to Mrsemmapeel) still in progress. Go check it out, leave some suggestions, and become a better cinephile.

Ed Howard from Only the Cinema is on a whole other level. He's the most intelligent film blogger writing today. And his 2,700 word review for Paul Verhoeven's Black Book belongs in a book. I can't say enough about my respect for Mr. Howard. Thankfully, the 202 comments he's received so far convinced me that his work is appreciated by people other than me. But you should still write comment number 203.

Tommy Salami's Pluck You, Too! combines my two life loves: movies and food. For those who don't know, May is Hamburger Month! Tommy's Best Post has less to do with meat and more to do with beef (food pun!) between Michael Mann and William Friedkin in the 80s. Any fans of To Live and Die in L.A. need to read this post.

Sasha from Final Girl Project has one of the coolest looking layouts on the internet. I'm even more jealous of her layout than Hal's Wes Anderson experience. Escaping the One-Viewpoint-Only trap that a lot of bloggers run into, Sasha has introduced a Roundtable feature where she and a friend discuss a film together. This Roundtable discussion of Donnie Darko is smart, entertaining, and definitely worth reading.

Stephen from Checking on My Sausages has some thought-provoking things to say about Inglorious Basterds. Aside from having an amazing blog name, he's has some important points to make about the film's characters, violence, and conflicting moralities.

C. Jerry Kutner from Bright Lights Film is a teacher. Maybe he's not paid for it (maybe he is, I don't know the guy) but he taught me a history lesson on Touch of Evil. Throughout film school, I had heard rumors of Universal taking Orson Welles' masterpiece and f--king it up. But even though they f--ked it up, it still turned out to be a masterpiece. But what I didn't know was just how badly they f--ked it up. This is one of my favorite reads so far.

J.D. from Radiator Heaven has written an exhilarating article on Robert Harmon's 1986 thriller The Hitcher. It's convinced me wholly to track down a copy and soak it in. Rutger Hauer terrorizes C. Thomas Howell during this violent on-the-road experience. It was originally going to be a part of Whitney and I'd Month of Horror, but I accidently got the Sean Bean remake.

Aiden from Cut the Crap Movie Reviews likes Pi like I like pie. A lot. The LAMMY-nominated reviewer covers Darren Aronofsky's directorial debut about a math savant who figures out how to predict rises and drops in the stock market. I didn't care for the film but after reading his review, I'm ready to give it another chance.

Castor from Anomalous Material is most likely going to win the "Best Blog Post" LAMMY award this year. And probably for this post (he was nominated twice). If you're a blogger, you can't miss this post. There's too much great advice in there on how to get more readers and keep them interested. A+ post.

1MinuteFilmReview's Best Post is aimed at anime lovers. 20th Century Boys is a popular manga (Japanese comic series) that was turned into three animated films beginning in 2008. 1MFR's review recommends that you read the manga and I recommend that you read his review.

24HoursToMidnight has constructed one of the funniest Best Posts. It's made up of one picture, one funny caption, one haiku, and one hilarious video with a great attention to detail. I'm ending Day One with this post because you've made it through the rest and you deserve something fun.

Friday Five: Pictures of Chantal Goya

2010-05-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

Whitney and I have been trudging through our Month of Foreign. Some have been bad, most have been good, a couple have been amazing. One of my favorites so far was Jean-Luc Godard's Masculin Féminin: 15 Faits Précis. It's a series of New Wave snapshots incapsulating French youth in the 1960s. But that's not why I picked it. The movie stars my new celebrity crush. Here's your Friday Five: Pictures of Chantal Goya.

Can anyone say "Ghosts of Mars?"

2010-05-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

Month of Foreign [Second Third Recap]

2010-05-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

The Lives of Others

Even if every other movie we watched this month was terrible, the Month of Foreign would have been worth it for The Lives of Others. By far the best movie yet. The year is 1984 and the Berlin Wall is still up. Secret government spies and informants use hidden bugs and cameras to keep tabs on anyone who might be a threat against Socialism. The film follows one of these spies as he becomes involved in the lives of those he's spying on. Excellent movie.

My Neighbor Totoro

This has been at the top of my Netflix queue for months. A "Very Long Wait" message made me think that I'd never see Totoro again. But the Movie Gods were good to us as it showed up in the mail halfway through our marathon. It's as great as I remembered. I'm steadily becoming a full-fledged fan of Miyazaki.

Last Year at Marienbad

Boooooooooooooooooooooo!

Pretentious. LONG. Boring.

Boooooooooooooooooooooo!

M. Hulot's Holiday

Apparently, my childhood obsession, Mr. Bean, was a blatant rip-off of Tati's lead character Monsieur Hulot. He doesn't speak. He's a bumbling fool. And wreaks havoc wherever he goes. All he's missing is a teddy bear. Holiday was really fun but it was a little slow in parts.

Knife in the Water

Roman Polanski's directorial debut. A happy couple invite a young hitchhiker onto their boat and sail around for a while before tensions rise. But like The Class, they don't rise to American levels. French tension, apparently, stays dormant for a long time and then rises a little at the end, sort of. The end. American audiences are confused, a little letdown, and worried their peers will think their dumb if they say they didn't like it. By the way, I liked it. Really.

Smiles of a Summer Night

Like Belle De Jour was Bunuel's most accessible film, the same can be said for Bergman and Smiles of a Summer Night. Everything makes sense, the characters all have clear wants/needs, and they takes steps into meeting those wants/needs. It was nice. Whitney pointed out that this is probably the only Bergman movie to feature smiling.

Cria Cuervos

This movie's a trip. In a good way. I usually don't like movies that "mix fantasy and reality" but this one worked for me. It takes a lot of patience (or a quick trip to Wikipedia) to figure out who's who and what's going on but if you stick around and put in the work, Cria Cuervos pays off immensely.

Wings of Desire

Two inaccessible movies in a row. Wim Wenders directs this film about an angel who falls in love with a circus performer and wishes to become human. There's very little dialogue. Most of the movie's made up of inner-thought monologues that only the angel can hear. It's going to take a few rewatchings for me to really get everything the director's trying to say. But the movie's shot beautifully, acted well, and the second best Peter Falk movie I've ever seen (Murder By Death is #1!)

Month of Foreign [First Third Recap]

2010-05-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

The Official Story

Read review here.

Porco Rosso

Read review here.

How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck

Repetitive Herzog documentary about Pennsylvania auctioneers.

Man Bites Dog

This movie is fucked up. Definitely recommended for violence-lovers.

A documentary crew follows a serial killer around as he rapes, murders, and bodydumps local citizens. The longer they film him, the more the filmmakers get involved.

Fantastic Planet

Aliens capture humans and keep them as pets.

Think Twilight Zone episode meets French animated sci-fi movie.

From the 1970s.

Masculin Feminin

I have a new celebrity crush.

Her name is Chantal Goya.

She is a babe.

Belle De Jour

Catherine Devenue plays a housewife with intimacy issues. She copes by becoming a prostitute. Who wouldn't? This is by far the most accessible Bunuel film I've ever seen. I'd highly recommend this one.

I'm Not Scared

Whitney and I invited our friends over to watch this Spanish thriller. Half an hour in, we were all covering our eyes, hiding behind blankets, and screaming. All the good things we'd heard about I'm Not Scared turned out to be true.

The Class

I wrote my thesis on Hollywood ghetto high school movies so The Class has been on my To-Watch list for a while now. As it turns out, the worst that French teachers have to deal with are kids who talk back, have disrespectful attitudes, and a limited vocabulary. No one gets shanked by makeshift knives, has their dogs murdered, or gets their heads smashed into the floor. You know, like American high schools. Very interesting entry into the genre.

Summer Hours

Nice minimalist film without any real conflict. Three adult siblings must decide to what to do with their mother's priceless art collection. So they do. The end.

Kid Flicks: The Buttercream Gang

2010-05-18T11:45:00.000-07:00

Every family has a movie (or movies) that, for one reason or another, takes the VCR/DVD Player hostage and receives more repeat viewings than it deserves. In our house, some of those movies were Sister Act, The Meteor Man, and 3 Ninjas. These are just some of the movies I want to write about in my new series, Kid Flicks.

Sometimes Mormon kids don't get to watch real movies. Sometimes they "get" to watch Feature Films for Families. Some were okay, others were no gosh darn good. But there was one that stood above the rest. The Buttercream Gang. Has anyone else seen this charming 90-minute PSA against headbands and bike theft?

Did you watch that trailer? Oscar-quality stuff. For those who missed (avoided) The Buttercream Gang during their childhood, let me catch you up on the important details. Pete (that Paul Reubens-looking guy) is the President of the Buttercream Gang--a group of charitable young suburban fellows. They help grandmothers, grandfathers, and anyone else suffering from the Near Death years. Pete is the valiant leader, that is, until he moves away, joins a street gang, and starts wearing cholo shirts.

When Pete moves back to town, it's up to Scott (the new Mr. Buttercream) to put a stop to his shoelace stealing and rebellious attitude. Luckily for Scott, he's got help from the rest of the gang. Together, they show Pete that real fun is to be found in bike riding and hugs.

For some reason, my family watched this movie...a lot. In fact, I found a Buttercream Gang DVD at Amoeba a couple years ago and proudly paid one dollar to take it home. Has anybody else seen this movie? Were you proud to share the same name as the newly-appointed Buttercream president? I was.

Lethal Weapon: Father of Garbage

2010-05-18T10:08:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't love Lethal Weapon? Mel Gibson and Danny Glover team up to kick in Gary Busey's mutant teeth. There's car chases, explosions, and nudity. Everything a growing boy needs. But Mike Lippert's super-list isn't about praising the originals, it's about blaming them for the shit that followed their fame. For every Halloween, there's a hundred cheap knockoffs trying to ride its coattails. Lethal Weapon is no exception. Often honored as ultimate Buddy Cop movie, Richard Donner's 1987 action classic inspired a lot of garbage. Here's a look at said trash.

The truly amazing thing about the Buddy Cop gene is its diversity. Cowboy movies usually consisted of white cowboys teaming up with other white cowboys, with the occasional Indian or female exception. But for the most part, the duos looked pretty similar to one another. These movies, however, have ran the gamete on cop combos.

Your more simple pairings have black cops teaming up with white cops. There's white cops teaming up with asian cops. Black cops and asian cops. What about a Russian cop that's forced to work with an American cop? Well, Racial differences are nothing compared to the variations coming up.

Throw age into the mix. Young white cop and old asian cop. Old white cop (who's also an expert in asian culture) and a black cop (who's not). Two old white cops, one of whom might be a cop killer (I'm suspecting amnesia has something to do with it).

Sometimes are there extenuating circumstances surrounding the officers. What if the cops were also reality TV stars? What if they were actually security guards? How about a black cop and a white cop who're also brothers? The possibilities are limitless. A young white cop teams up with a sassy black cab driver? Ooh! I'm getting excited now. How about a straight-laced cop is forced to team up with a rough-around-the edges cop? Think The Odd Couple meets Lethal Weapon!

Their partners don't even have to be human. Dog cops, dinosaur cops, alien cops. And if their partners don't have to be human, you better believe they don't have to fight humans either. Human cops vs. aliens. Alien cops vs. alien baddies. There's even a movie where they fight zombies with a passion for armed robbery.

And last, there are the Buddy Cop movies where half of the duo aren't! even! cops! Why team up with a trained police officer when you can fight crime with bratty little kids (a.k.a. your worse nightmare, a.k.a. a nine-year-old with a badge) or sassy taxi drivers (a.k.a. my dream lady, a.k.a Queen Latifah)?

So, let's all thank Lethal Weapon for Showdown in Little Tokyo, Showtime, Tango & Cash, Dead Heat, Rising Sun, Red Heat, Bulletproof, Theodore Rex, Collision Course, Cop and a Half, Money Train, Turner and Hooch, Taxi, Cradle 2 the Grave, K-9, Alien Nation, National Security, Hollywood Shuffle, The Glimmer Man, Righteous Kill, and the hundreds of other Buddy Cop movies that came after it.

Miraculous Merch: Twice Upon a Time View-Master Slides

2010-05-17T12:15:00.000-07:00

Only one person I know will truly appreciate the miraculousness of this merch. Twice Upon a Time is an animated film from 1983. It was created in the Bay Area and features some of the raddest animation I've ever seen. After a limited (and poor-performing) theatrical run, Twice had a short run on HBO, and a small VHS/Laserdisc release before falling into obscurity.

Laura (the amazing artist who designed the He Shot Cyrus banner) has championed this film since childhood. She's the one who introduced me to Twice via a coveted original release VHS tape she'd saved for over a decade. And even though we both loved the movie, I don't think either of us would have imagined that this rarely discussed and nearly forgotten film would have had merchandise! Especially View-Master merchandise!

For my younger readers, View-Masters were basically portable slide-viewers that looked like this. They most likely started out as some sort of war weapon before making the natural transition into children's toys. Today, with your iPods and your printing presses, View-Masters are all but obsolete. But that's what makes this merch even better.
Monsters1968 is selling these ultra-rare Twice Upon a Time slides on eBay for $25.00. You'd be a fool to let these slide out of your hands, especially if you're Laura.

Kid Flicks: D2: The Mighty Ducks

2010-05-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

D2: The Mighty Ducks is the best of the series. The first one's a downer and the third one's lame. It's the Secret of the Ooze of the Rowdy Kids Playing Hockey genre.

The stakes are higher, the characters are more memorable, and the culture lessons were more profound. "Greenland is covered with ice and Iceland is very nice." Tell me that didn't help you in college.

The new additions to Team America (a.k.a. The Ducks) were great. Not only did they add Julie "The Cat" Gaffney, the cutest goaltender 11-year-old Gringo ever loved, they also added a cowboy, a pro figure skater, a speed-skater with "stopping problems," and a Knucklepuck-shooting big mouth (played by Kenan Thompson). And the Bash Brothers! Two gargantuan thugs who headbang and mosh to "You Ain't See Nothing Yet." (Note: Fulton was in the original Ducks; Dean was added and the rest was history.)

That brings me to the soundtrack. This glorious soundtrack. Not only do the boys trick models into parading around to The B-52's "Good Stuff," they also play street hockey to "WHOOMP! (There It Is)" and sing "We Are the Champions" around the campfire. Throw in "Mr. Big Stuff" and you've got a soundtrack that rivals Angus.

Most Memorable D2 Moments:

1. It's Knucklepuck time!

2. The Greenland/Iceland explanation

3. The "Good Stuff" models

Miraculous Merch: The 50 Greatest Movies Never Made

2010-05-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

Film Threat creator and G4 host Chris Gore, best known for his Ultimate Film Festival Survival Guide, has written a couple other books but this one's my favorite. "The 50 Greatest Movies Never Made" chronicles exactly that. From a Salvador Dali/Disney collaboration to an awesome sounding Hitchcock thriller, this book has the lowdown on fifty movies you'd love to see (except for Howard Stern's failed Fartman flick). Right now, Amazon is selling copies for ridiculously cheap. I bought my copy. Now you buy yours.

Thanks for Writing Question

2010-05-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, He Shot Cyrus holds a monthly contest where your comments can earn prizes. The official rules are in the left sidebar. Pictures of previous winners are in the right sidebar. So, here's my question for both the previous winners and potential future winners:

For DVD prizes, would you rather receive

fewer new DVDs (2-3) or more used DVDs (3-4)?

Are new DVDs "better" prizes?

I'd really appreciate feedback from everyone who reads here, even if you don't comment often. Thanks, guys and gals.

Friday Five: Movies Only I Love

2010-05-07T20:07:00.000-07:00

Today's Friday Five was inspired by the movie Crash, which I love.

And you hate.

Born in East L.A.: Not to knock Tommy Chong, but this movie's funnier than any of he and Cheech's collaborations. When Rudy, a Hispanic U.S. citizen, gets deported by mistake he has to figure out a way to make enough money to cross the border back home. This movie has catchphrases (Waas sapp-en-ing?), babes (Kamala Lopez), and Daniel Stern. What's not to love?

Dangerous Minds: I love this movie so much I based my thesis around it. "Hollywood's Depiction of Inner-City High Schools" was born because I've been obsessed with Dangerous Minds for the greater part of my life. I bought the soundtrack, multiple times. I read the book until it literally fell apart. I bought the soundtrack again when the CD came out. When it came to Dangerous Minds, I did everything EXCEPT see the movie. My religious parents banned R-rated movies so I was forced to wait two years until it aired on TV (edited for time and content). I still have the VHS tape I recorded on that glorious day. And while some people may love Dangerous Minds, nobody loves it like I do. Physically.

Brown Sugar: Why don't more people like Brown Sugar? I can understand why the general blogging masses might turn up their noses, but what about the general public? The opening to this movie is one of my favorites OF ALL-TIME. A carefully edited montage of hip-hop legends reminiscing about the moment they fell in love with hip-hop. And that leads into a New York City park sometime in the 1980s where the two young protagonists watch Slick Rick freestyle to Doug E. Fresh's beatbox. Maybe the movie's too "hip-hop" for most rom-drama fans and too rom-drama for most hip-hop fans.

For Love or Money: I'm the only person who loves For Love or Money. Want proof? The only screenshot I could find online was this one. And I made it. For this post.

Daddy's Little Girls: From Sirk to Haggis, I'm a fan of melodrama. So when Tyler Perry released DLG, I was first in line (the norm for Utah screenings of Tyler Perry movies). Yes, the music is manipulative and some of the villains are characterchures. But I applaud Perry for throwing subtlety out the window and just packing punch after punch (like Crash) until I'm so emotionally exhausted that I have no choice but to agree with your movie's ideals.

Question of the Week

2010-05-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

What movie-related merch are you most proud to own?

Musical Blog-a-Thon: Krush Groove

2010-05-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

Starting on May 30th, Encore's World of Film & TV is hosting a Musical Blog-a-Thon. Andrew asked me to write about my favorite musical. As it happens, I discovered my favorite musical just last night. Krush Groove.

Don't get me wrong, Rogers and Hammerstein were masters of their craft, but room-rockers they were not. Give me Hollis, Queens over Oklahoma any day. Krush Groove fictionalizes the story of Def Jam Records humble beginnings. Blair Underwood steps in to play Russell Walker (a.k.a. Russell Simmons) but almost every other role (like Rick Rubin!) is played by the real Def Jam figures. Run-DMC, Kurtis Blow, Shelia E., The Fat Boys, LL Cool J, Beastie Boys, and even New Edition play themselves and perform throughout the movie.

Krush Groove's conflict is pretty dramatic. All of the pressure of running a startup record label falls onto Russell's shoulders. He has help from Rubin and other associates but the financial burden is his responsibility. When the banks and investors all turn him down, Russell decides to take a loan from the shady loan shark everyone's warned him about. This startup money is enough to get the label going but unfortunately, by that time, all of his groups have signed with someone else. He's left with no artists, no money, and a pissed-off gangster looking to collect. In the end, his friends eventually pitch in and help him pay off his debts. Apparently, harsh beatings are often the wake-up calls people need to help a friend.

The real fun of Krush Groove is in the performances. About half of the film is scenes of rappers and singers performing either on stage for an audience or just out in public with a mix of diegetic and non-diegetic music. In one scene, The Fat Boys sing their song "All You Can Eat" while scarfing down pizza at a Sabarro. It might sound like a Weird Al music video but this is what hip-hop was like in the mid-80s. A lot of screentime is given to Sheila E. who I officially have a crush on after this movie. She sings, dances, and even plays the drums and she looks hot doing it. Krush Groove is a priceless piece of hip-hop history. Anyone with a love for the early days of commercial hip-hop should look no further. And while you're at it, pick up Beat Street, Wild Style, Breakin', and Style Wars.

Movie Poster Mix-Up: Round Three

2010-05-05T09:10:00.000-07:00

Ever see a movie poster and think you're looking at one actor but it turns out to be someone else? Happens to me every once in a while too. Here are some more of my movie poster mix-ups. To see my first mix-ups, click here and here.

Two Important Tidbits

2010-05-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

1. I've received a couple e-mails/comments form people asking if they too can participate in the My Best Post blog-a-thon. The answer is "of course you can! Tell everyone you know!" Just leave your link on this post or e-mail you link to: heshotcyrus@hotmail.com

2. Happy Cinco de Mayo. I assume you've all seen this by now.

Kid Flicks: 3 Ninjas

2010-05-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

Every family has a movie (or movies) that, for one reason or another, takes the VCR/DVD Player hostage and receives more repeat viewings than it deserves. In our house, some of those movies were Sister Act, D2: The Mighty Ducks, and The Meteor Man. These are just some of the movies I want to write about in my new series, Kid Flicks.

LIGHT UP THE EYES, BOYS!

LIGHT UP THE EYES!

My brother and I lived and breathed 3 Ninjas. For us, it wasn't corny at all. In fact, it was more than a movie, it was a step-by-step training manual for becoming a ninja.

What little kid didn't want to be a ninja? Movies like 3 Ninjas were just an excuse for siblings to practice karate on one another. And "practicing karate" was just an excuse to kick the hell out of each other while screaming loudly. "HI-YAH!" "LIGHT UP THE EYES!" "YOU MADE DAD LEAVE!"

When I was young, I hated visiting my grandparents. Old people, in general, made me uneasy. But Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum's grandpa was pretty different than mine. Theirs was a ninja. Mine was a mailman. Theirs was inexplicably Japanese. Mine was white, just like the rest of us.

Maybe if my grandpa gave me throwing stars and a food-related nickname, he'd get a phone call every once in a while.

I recently showed my wife 3 Ninjas. She'd never seen it before. Needless to say, she didn't love it. In fact, she didn't make it all the way through. Whitney, if you're reading this, you already know I can cut off family for not supporting my 3 Ninjas love. Maybe you give it another chance, yeah?

Most Memorable 3 Ninjas Images:
1. The "Light up the eyes!" dummy
2. That disgusting old babysitter lady in the closet with pizza all over her disgusting face.
3. Ohhhh! The masks with the light-up eyes! They'd let you know when your parents were coming. Best invention ever.

Month of Foreign: Day Two: Porco Rosso

2010-05-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel late on the Miyazaki bandwagon but then I remember that My Neighbor Totoro and Kiki's Delivery Service were childhood favorites. Some of his later films, arguably his post popular, like Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away didn't cast their magic spells over me. I never thought they were bad, they just didn't keep my interest. But after watching Ponyo and Porco Rosso, I think I'm ready to revisit them. I loved these two.

Have you seen Porco Rosso? What did you think?

350th Post

2010-05-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

These people are excited about He Shot Cyrus' 350th post!

You should be too.

They made me a celebratory quilt.

You should too.

Miraculous Merch: Your Favorite Directors

2010-05-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

Retrowhale's Etsy Shop has quite a collection of rad stuff. My favorite are these movie director coasters. Pictured above are: Roman Polanski, Quentin Tarantino, Woody Allen, Jim Jarmusch (my second favorite), Stanley Kubrick, Spike Jones, Peter Jackson, Sofia Coppola, Tim Burton, Wes Anderson, Martin Scorsese, Spike Lee (my third favorite), Steven Soderbergh, The Coen Brothers, and Francis Ford Coppola (my absolute favorite). Apart from being used as coasters, they can also be used as wall hangings! My house is going to be covered in these guys. Retrowhale is really talented deserves to become a millionaire off of these things. So buy a bunch of them. Christmas, Kwanzaa, birthdays, etc. Even Thursday can be special with merch like this.

3 Best Friends Marathon: Movies Featuring Cross-Dressing

2010-05-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

Sylvia Scarlett (1935): Somehow this movie dodged my radar for twenty-five years. Katherine Hepburn (who I love) dresses up as a fellah to avoid the coppers. She's doesn't really look like a boy but seems to trick everyone with her deep voice and pants. She and her fugitive father meet up with Cary Grant (donning a terrible cockney accent) and a British maid and naturally, they start a traveling comedy show. It's a weird movie but along with Adam's Rib, Born Yesterday, My Fair Lady, and The Philadelphia Story, has convinced me to see everything George Cukor ever directed.

Just One of the Guys (1985): I was having trouble deciding which cross-dressing movie to choose. I narrowed it down between Glen or Glenda, Tootsie, and In Like Flint. Then I showed Whitney the trailer for Just One of the Guys and she begged me to choose it. She's chosen some of my recommendations for previous marathons (you can thank me for The Initiation) so I returned the favor. This is one of your typical "girl dresses up like a boy for equality" movies. It's like Yentl with more nudity. "We Love the 80s" loves this movie. That meant that I knew the ending before we even put the DVD in. But it was great, 80s teen-com. Really underrated.

I Was a Male War Bride (1949): Two Cary Grant movies in one night! We're classy. In this one, Cary Grant plays a French military man (donning absolutely no accent at all) who falls in love with Ann Sheridan, an American military gal who gets on his last nerve. When they decide to get married, they have to go through U.S. Military-grade red tape and Grant is forced to stay awake for about three days straight. Honestly, hoping Grant finds a bed to sleep in becomes a bigger subplot than their trip around the world. If you're only watching this for the cross-dressing, be prepared to wait about an hour and half to see it.

Month of Foreign: Day One: The Official Story

2010-05-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

My preferred method of killing two birds is by using one stone. The 1,001 Movies You Must See Club chose Luis Puenzo's Argentine political mystery, The Official Story, for this week's film. Whitney, an active member of the prestigious club, decided to capitalize on the situation by kicking off our Month of Foreign with the same movie.

When a middle-class teacher, Alicia, starts to suspect that her adoptive daughter Gaby might have been taken from a pregnant captor of Argentine's Dirty War (1976-1983), she begins to unravel the secrets surrounding Gaby's past. She finds dead ends wherever she turns. Her husband, a strict traditionalist, tell her not to ask questions. Her priest dismisses her concerns and tells her to honor God's will. The hospitals refuses to help her look into the records taken during the War. Alicia refuses to give up and eventually she beings finding out more than she bargained for.

Foreign films always find the most adorable and talented child actors. Remember the little girl in The Fall? Or the kid from Cinema Paradiso? Whoever cast Analia Castro to play Gaby in The Official Story knew what they were doing. This little doe-eyed angel outshone everyone she shared a scene with. It was important to find a girl who the audience would immediately attach themselves to because Gaby not only serves as the center of this story but also serves as a reminder of the uncountable abducted, tortured, and murdered Argentine citizens from this time.

The film carries itself through its characters. The story would make complete sense to anyone, even including people with no knowledge of Argentine history or culture. And while there are attempts to catch viewers up, the expository dialogue is minimal and presented in interesting ways. Some have referred to Story as a thriller but that's inaccurate by present-day definitions. Instead of a run-of-the-mill psychological or political thriller, The Official Story is really more of a mystery film with political undertones. You become more and more attached to Alicia and Gaby as the movie progresses and by the end, instead of being scared for them, feeling of sadness creep in and eventually a blunt sense of acceptance takes over. The mystery is solved but the Alicia's reactions are ambiguous. In fact, the end of the film is ambiguous. And after a months of foreign films, I'm sure I'll have had my share of ambiguity.

Thanks For Writing - April 2010 Winner

2010-05-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

The comments were counted. The name was drawn. April 2010's Thanks for Writing winner is none other than TJMAC510 from The Movie Encyclopedia. He really put the work in this month and I appreciate it. He has one week to send his name & mailing address to heshotcyrus@hotmail.com

A huge thanks to everyone who contributed comments this month. Reading your comments makes the work worthwhile. And if you didn't win, don't worry, this month's contest begins...NOW!

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT REVEALED!

2010-04-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

It's the "MY BEST POST" BLOG-A-THON!

Here's the lowdown on this event of the season. I want your best posts. The ones that make you the most proud. It's time to show off your skills, people. Everyone should participate because here's the best part: you've already written your entry!

You've got three weeks to make your choice. If you think you can write a post better than your fans have ever seen before then get to work! On May 21st, it's time to show the goods! E-mail your links to: heshotcyrus@hotmail.com or leave a comment here.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'll be e-mailing certain bloggers whose work I really admire and asking them to participate. If, for some reason, I forget to ask you...don't worry, I love your blog too and you should feel almost obligated to show off your analytical and literary skills.

Also, a million thanks to my good friend Laura for making this kick-ass graphic!

PLEASE PASS THE GRAPHIC AROUND.

LET EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THE EVENT.

Question of the Week

2010-04-30T11:59:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a movie at a Drive-In?

Month of Foreign

2010-04-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

Whitney and I have a history of movie-themed months. Month of Horror is coming up on its third year but we've decided that October is just too far away. That's why we're watching 31 Foreign Films in 31 Days during the month of May. Feel free to join us, read our reviews, and wish us luck.

Friday (Ten): Top 10 Superhero Movies

2010-04-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

The Movie Case just released their Top 10 Superhero Movies list. It's great list, go check it out. In honor of their great list, here's another great list.

#10. The Crow

Here are 38 great things about The Crow.

#09. The Fantastic Four (1994)

Production company, Constantin Film, was about to lose their rights to make a Fantastic Four movie. Thinking on their toes, the company did what they had to do. They made a Fantastic Four movie. They gave Roger Corman a miniscule budget and told him to get to work. What they didn't tell Corman (or any of the actors) is that they never intended on releasing this movie. Decades later, the movie is a cult classic, and only available to watch online. Things worked out well for Constantin Film, however, as they made two gigantic Fantastic Four movies in 2005 and 2007.

#08. Spider-Man

A recent re-watching of Spider-Man reminded me just how entertaining it really is. Great origin story, pro wrestling cage match, rad villains, and much more. Even though the casting of MJ still seems wrong, this is what I want from new superhero movies: a lot of fun.

#07. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

Three reasons why this is the best TMNT film:

1. Ninja Turtles lying half-dead in bathtubs is unacceptable.

2. I like my Turtles funny.

3. Ninja...Ninja Rap!

#06. Robocop

Robocop gets looked over too often. He hardly shows up on superhero lists and I think that's bullshit. He starts out human, undergoes a tragic accident, is transformed into a robotic cop with a license to kill. What about that doesn't sound like a superhero?

#05. Mystery Men

Everyone loves an underdog. This movie's full of them. A girl who throws bowling balls, a guy with anger management issues, another guy who's only invisible when no one's looking at him. William H. Macy plays a man who shovels well! Other than Meteor Man, this might be the most underrated film on the list.

#04. The Meteor Man

I recently wrote on The Meteor Man for part of my Kid Flicks series. You can read the post here.

#03. Batman Returns

Batman Returns > The Dark Knight. There, I said it. In my opinion, this is how the Batman comics were meant to be adapted. Burton absolutely nailed it. As fantastic as Ledger was as The Joker, this movie has a better Batman, better secondary villains (DeVito as The Penguin and Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman), and a better overall plot. No Patriot Act subplots, plenty of henchmen, and best of all, no ridiculous Bale voice choking out every damn line written for him.

#02. X2: X-Men United

I just have a soft spot for X2.

#01. Unbreakable

Take what I said about Mystery Men and The Meteor Man back. THIS is the most underrated movie on this list. The Sixth Sense will always go down as M. Night's masterpiece and that's fine. But what isn't fine are the discussions that Sixth Sense is his only good movie. Unbreakable is my favorite superhero movie and it has zero explosions, no one can fly, and the action is minimal. But without the myths that Unbreakable examines, you wouldn't have any of the other movies on this list.

Sandra Bullock Adopts Little Black Baby...

2010-04-29T17:47:00.000-07:00

Maybe she'll teach him how to play football too.

BLIND SIDE!

Thanks for Writing Reminder

2010-04-29T12:26:00.001-07:00

Diane Lane and John Malkovich are excited about Thanks for Writing.

You should be too.
Every comment earns you a chance to win prizes.
You should win prizes.
Fletch, Drew Danburry, and Simon Columb have.
You should be like them.

Pixar's Posters

2010-04-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

Toy Story: Pixar's first feature had a lot of characters to introduce to the world. Choosing to include the ensemble cast in the poster was a smart move. If your kid doesn't love astronauts and cowboys, maybe a dinosaur will suit his/her fancy. Little Bo Peep is prevalent, as is the recognizable Mr. Potato Head. Toss in a Piggy Bank, a Troll doll, Slinky Dog, and even a hard-to-spot Army Man and you've covered your bases.

I love the action of this poster. Buzz takes flight in front of sky-themed wallpaper. Woody's face is split between fear and disapproval, his two most-defining character traits. The title is secondary to the action, pushed over to one side to make room for the heroic spaceman's gallant pose. Maybe it's nostalgia but I'm in love with the title logo. The colors, the outlining around "Toy" and its unique shape. I only wish they would have brought the "Story" out a little, made it less flat.

Poster Grade: A-

A Bug's Life: Besides Wall-E, this is Pixar's most beautiful posters. Separate the illustrations from the movie and you've got a poster any kid would want on their wall. We've been shrunk down even smaller than the tiny bugs, giving us a great POV from below. I love that we're introduced to the characters through a leaf that's been partially eaten. It creates a sense of a "secret world" and that the bugs are as interested in us as we are in them.

The color of the leaf is the most appealing and pleasing color in existence. It's relaxing. Telemarketers should put pictures of this leaf in their cubicles as means of mental escapism. And look at Flik's shadow. Satisfying. A Bug's Life is not in my Top 3 Pixar movies but this is my Top 3 Pixar posters. Oh! The logo, I almost didn't mention the logo. Tell me that doesn't make you want to take a kid to the zoo.

Poster Grade: A

Toy Story 2: Foregoing with the ensemble cast, the designers decided to keep it simple by just featuring the two stars. One thing I forgot to mention about the first Toy Story poster is its lack of actor names. They got Tom Hanks to voice their star but you wouldn't know it from the poster. That takes balls. This time out, they tacked on their names in an ugly grey color that really should have been cropped off. The poster's clean but cramped, not too exciting, and overall, it's pretty lackluster. Although, adding the "2" to the logo resulted in a cohesiveness that the original logo was lacking.

Poster Grade: C-

Monsters, Inc.: Now that's a clean poster. The white background mirrors the Toy Story 2 poster but with full-length shots of new characters, it's utilized much better. If you're going to go with a blank, white background space, this is an effective way to use it. That being said, when your subjects are MONSTERS, why waste your poster space on a boring picture like this? When's the last time your kid had a nightmare about a well-lit monster just standing out in the open in an Awkward Family Photos pose? They had a lot to work with here but just delivered a lazy poster. Also, Sulley's face is annoying. And the title looks like bad 90s clipart.

Poster Grade: C+

Finding Nemo: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Those fish are shitting themselves and they don't even know what's behind them! Not even those calming, soothing blues can slow their heart rates. They're pretty much going to die. This is what I want from a poster. Give me the drama, the conflict, the danger! Don't give me some bullshit sketch of your characters posing like good buddies in a yearbook club page. I want the life and death situation. That's what this poster does. And not only that, they done a stylish job with it.

Poster Grade: A+

The Incredibles: And now for something completely different. The bright reds and oranges are a sharp contrast to the deep blues Pixar usually uses. Compared to every poster before it, the action captured here is about 100x more intense. And it's definitely the only poster with a giant explosion. But even with the fireballs, flying villains, and UFOs, the Incredibles poster is pretty underwhelming. I stared and stared at this poster, trying to figure out why it didn't work for me. Finally, it hit me. It's their faces. Explosions aren't threatening to audiences when they aren't threatening to the characters. All of their facial expressions seem to be saying "Not too shabby, eh?" "We're not scared. You shouldn't be either." And I'm not. I'm bored. Do you know when I wasn't bored? When those fish were shitting themselves on the Nemo poster.

Poster Grade: B-

Cars: Honestly, there's not much I like about this poster. For some reason, car romance is hard to for me to buy...even when it's played against long, curvy mountain roads and out-of-place waterfalls. This poster is just as boring as every car commercial on TV right now. I'm just waiting for the APR financing figures. 0% Down? Wow, what a great deal. But even as boring and cliche the poster art is, the title logo is definitely Pixar's most polished so far and looks to have received the most thought behind it.

Poster Grade: C+

Ratatouille: I love posters, especially for animated films, that take a snapshot during the action. This is the complete opposite of the Monsters Inc. poster. Why just prop your characters up against a white space when you can pin them to a white door with giant knifes and forks? He's holding onto cheese, a classic rat image, but the tagline should serve as an example for all tagline writers. It compliments the imagery, makes sense, and sums up the entire conflict in a short, coheisive package. It's great. The title logo is clean, cute, and doesn't distract from the main imagery. Great poster.

Poster Grade: A

WALL-E: Again, Pixar delivers an aestetically pleasing poster that utilizes its color scheme perfectly. It's not the most interesting poster, in fact, it's not even the most interesting Wall-E poster, which can be found here. But since I usually grade the most recognizable posters, this is the one under review. My biggest problem with Wall-E's poster is the forced coheisiveness. It's too sectioned-off. Foreground: robot and rough terrain. Background Right: Rounded Spaceship. Background Center: Moon and Title. Background Right: Moon and Eve. Look at the Ratatouille poster. Everything's positioned together extremely well and when the eye relaxes ont he poster, it's led in one direction. When the eye relaxes on this poster, it doesn't know where to focus. They tried to include too much and ended up voiding out the emotion found on most of Wall-E's other posters. But overall, it's still satisfying and beautiful.

Poster Grade: B+

Up: No tagline. Just the word "Up" written in large, could-white text--slanted at an awkward angle Pixar was so proud of they used it again on the Toy Story 3 poster. The Up poster has a great sense of action, uses depth well, and gives you a pretty good idea what the movie's about. One of Pixar's greatest strengths has always been their ability to animate emotions. Dreamworks, on the other hand, specializes in this. The dog's happy. The old man's concerned about his present situation. And that fat kid's having the goddamn time of his life. I wouldn't put this on my wall but it's a strong entry into Pixar's poster collection.

Poster Grade: B+

Toy Story 3: We're back to the ensemble cast and this time there's Barbie. The happy-go-lucky crew of children's playthings look pretty worried. They haven't reached Finding Nemo levels of fear but there's definitely something worrisome this side of the camera. In a lot of cases, stacking characters like this will make the poster look forced, overstuffed, and unappealing. One of the perks of using digital designers is that you can pretty much get any layout result you want if you're willing to put in the time. The designers also abandoned the blank, white background of the second poster and adopted this satisfying tan. Great poster.

Poster Grade: A+

RANT

2010-04-27T13:32:00.001-07:00

Dear Bloggers Who Use Captchas,

please stop using captchas.

They're annoying.

More than once, I've written a comment, clicked "publish comment," exited out of the window before the screen reloads with that annoying box asking me to type "SingAPore coUCh." And you better believe I'm not typing that comment again.

I don't want to sound like a dick here. I had a captcha when I first started until one of my readers demanded I get rid of it. So I did. And the results were the occasional spam comment all of which were easily deleted forever.

So please, stop using captchas. Your comments will go up, at least your comments from me will.

Sincerely,

Gringo

He Shot Cyrus

Director's Chair: Scorsese's Best Titles

2010-04-27T11:39:00.000-07:00

The LAMB is holding the latest installment of their Director's Chair series from April 28th-April 30th. And while I'll also be submitting my two Scorsese Posters posts, I wanted to write something new for the event.

I got to thinking about movie titles, about how some of them become synonymous with their films, their poster art, or even a single iconic image. But I wanted to separate the text from their attachments (the signifiers from the signified) and rank my favorites--based on the premise that the words were being used as a title for a movie, but not necessarily the movie I already connect them with. In short, what do the words themselves represent and how do they work apart from the famous films?

Number 5.
Gangs of New York.
Right away, hundreds of images fly through my brain. The New York City skyline, gritty urban streets, graffiti, violence, police lights, police tape, hand signs, murder, blood, thugs, the East/West Coast rivalry of the mid-90s, youth, and on and on. Then the questions begin. Is this a documentary? What decades would it span? If it's a narrative film, what decade would it take place in? Are these present-day gangs armed with a heavy arsenal of automatic weapons or are they closer to Jets and Sharks? "DID THEY REMAKE THE WARRIORS?" would certainly have to be asked. This combination of words, Gangs of New York, immediately triggers imagery and prompts inquiries. Isn't that what very movie should do (I'm looking at you, Salt)?

Number 4.
What's a Nice Girl Like You Doing in a Place Like This?
I'm a fan of longer titles. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney. This one elicits thoughts of pick-up lines, crowded bars, maybe an element or two of danger. This could work for a colorful 1960s rom-com (think Cactus Flower) or a low-budget indie drama--possibly set in New York. On its own, WaNGLYDiaPLT (pronounced Wangly Dia-plat) is an interesting title but it does sounds a little cliche. Honestly, if I read this title in smaller festival lineup, I'd probably skip it. That being said, it inspired me to write a film based on my favorite pick-up line, Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car.

Number 3.
Boxcar Bertha.
Talk about triggering vivid imagery. This movie could be about circus freaks, an obese Depression-Era hobo, or even a female pro wrestler. Sure, those are all pretty similar, but the point is: Boxcar. Bertha. I'm interested.

If someone here asked me, "Have you ever seen Boxcar Bertha?" I would immediately open a new window and log in to Netflix. There'd be no way I could respond, "No, what's it about?" and then wait for their reply. If the DVD art didn't look horrendous (I will judge a DVD by its cover), it'd be at the top of my queue just waiting for me to send back Project Runway: Season 5, Disc 4. You've got to admire anyone willing to label their quality product with a name like this.

Number 2.
The Color of Money.
A lazier writer would have just named it "Green."

Number 1.
The Last Temptation of Christ.
What a great title. You're already familiar with the main character, you recognize the finality of the situation, and its got great cadence. The rhythm of the words hits you three times. The LAST TempTATION of CHRIST. The only thing the marketing people would have to do with make sure everyone knew it wasn't a "Christian" film.

Miraculous Merch: Bill Murray

2010-04-26T10:00:00.000-07:00

Nakatomi Inc. is selling these amazing Bill Murray stickers. They've got quite a bit of other cool stuff for sale as well. They're 6''x6'' which is pretty sizable for a sticker. All of your favorite movies are here: Caddyshack, Stripes, Ghostbusters, Rushmore (I believe?), Lost in Translation, and of course, The Life Aquatic of Steve Zissou. The pack sells for $12.00 and Nakatomi Inc. is offering FREE SHIPPING. I bought a pack last week and they arrived today. Needless to say, I'm in love. Buy some for yourself and some more for your friends.

Obama of Blogging!

2010-04-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

The LAMMYs are here again.

I'd really appreciate a couple votes.

Thanks!

Question of the Week

2010-04-23T12:29:00.001-07:00

At what age did you parents start letting you watch R-rated movies?

Friday Five: 3-D Sequels I Want to See

2010-04-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

#5. Ninja Assassin

THEW! THEW! THEW! Ninja stars! Ninja swords! Ninja fists! NOW IN 3-D! Blood splatter! Guts spatter! 3-D SPLATTER!

#4. Garbage Pail Kids

GPK got screwed over during its theatrical run. This movie could have birthed the revival of so many cinematic extras. Rumblerama for the farts. Smell-O-Vision, again for the farts. 3-D for the flying puss and popping pimples. What a missed opportunity.

#3. My Dinner With Andre

Two hours. Two characters. One meal. One movie. Whenever I watch My Dinner with Andre, I feel pretty left out. They two guys are having the fucking time of their life--telling stories, telling jokes, telling each other any fucking thing they can think of. And it seems great. I'm forced to play Fly on Wall and that sucks. Adding a third-dimension might make me feel a little more included.

#2. Gummo

You can keep your Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom and your Last House of the Left because this is the most disgusting movie ever made. Harmony Korine tests your gag reflex by using non-actors who are, to say the least, puke-inducing. There's nothing like watching a little bastard-child eat spaghetti and chocolate bars in filthy bathtubs to make your morning. The only thing that helped me get through this was the phrase "It's only a movie..." Something tells me that a little 3-D might force me to forget that fact.

#1. Unfaithful

Come on, she's the Denzel of white women.

Stay Tuned for a Big Announcement

2010-04-22T09:03:00.001-07:00

A big He Shot Cyrus announcement is headed this way. Stay tuned.

Movie Posters with their Original Casts

2010-04-22T08:53:00.000-07:00

Moviefone drew up some amazing classic movie posters featuring their original cast. Some of them I'd heard before (Will Smith in The Matrix) but others are so horrific that they must be true. Here are a couple of my favorites and one of the most terrifying.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Honestly, this poster disgusts me.

How to Cover a Film Festival

2010-04-20T10:31:00.000-07:00

I've been lucky enough to cover a few film festivals (Sundance, SXSW, and Cinequest) over the past couple years. Some of you have asked how I got hooked up with the gig so I've written up some steps for those interested in becoming a film festival critic.

1. Know the Right People -- This is probably the most important step. I got my MA in Cinema Studies in San Francisco. One of my classmates was the editor of Film Threat. We became friends and when he read my blog, he hooked me up. Connections are important but what's even more important is not to be a weasel. People know when they're being used and they don't like it.

2. Pay Your Own Way -- Most likely, you won't be paid for your critic work. In most cases, you'll have to help pay for your travel accommodations, food, lodging, etc. I finished writing my thesis in Utah which put me in a great position to attend Sundance. I took as much time off from work as I could afford, packed brown bag lunches, and drove into Park City around 8:00AM and drove back home around 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. Sundance ended up costing quite a bit for Whitney and I but it was completely worth it.

3. Attend Smaller Festivals -- Everyone wants to cover Sundance, which is why it's so difficult to get a spot. But these days, almost every big city has some sort of film festival. These festivals often have some great movies in their lineups and can be pretty accommodating for independent critics. In fact, Cinequest hooked us up with lodging and some food. They treated us like royalty, haha. Check out the websites for any festivals near your town and contact their press coordinators about acquiring press credentials.

4. Hone Your Skills -- This one sounds corny but when you're forced to squeeze reviews out between screenings or late at night when you'd rather be sleeping, being able to rely on your ability to concisely review the five movies you just watched back to back to back to back to back is necessary.

5. Be Known -- This is definitely one step I'm still working on. Theoretically, enough hard work will lead to exposure which will help you plead your case with press coordinators. Write lots of reviews, try to get on Rotten Tomatoes, and build your brand. Participate in blogging community activities (see: The LAMB), comment on everyone else's sites, and do everything you can (without being annoying) to expand the world's knowledge of your site.

Have you ever covered a film festival? What advice do you have for potential press members?

Have you always wanted to cover a film festival? Is this advice helpful?

Let me know.

Kid Flicks: Sister Act (1992)

2010-04-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

Every family has a movie (or movies) that, for one reason or another, takes the VCR/DVD Player hostage and receives more repeat viewings than it deserves. In our house, some of those movies were 3 Ninjas, D2: The Mighty Ducks, and The Meteor Man. These are just some of the movies I want to write about in my new series, Kid Flicks.

My mom has a love-hate relationship with Whoopi Goldberg. She loves anything she's ever done that wasn't R-rated. Mormonism = Cinematic schizophrenia. Because we were a PG-only family, I never saw Burglar or Girl, Interrupted but I did see Eddie, Bogus, and Theodore Rex.

Sister Act is the one we watched most of all. Our VHS tape literally broke due to overuse. I can't tell you how many times seen Sister Act. There was a point in my life where I knew all of the words to all off the songs. Hell, I knew all of the words, period. My family loved this movie. And don't think our love stopped at the sequel. Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit not only entertained us for hours on end but it also introduced me Lauryn Hill who I had a bit of a crush on throughout the mid-to-late 90s.

Looking back at this beloved childhood classic, there's one scene I feel needs some discussion. For those who haven't seen it, the movie follows a lounge singer named Doloris Van Cartier who witnesses a murder and goes into witness protection with a convent. When she gets there, the nuns have trouble conforming her to their conservative lifestyle. But before we go too far, can we go back to the murder?

An off-screen gunshot to the (head? chest?) was quite a scarring occurrence for single-digit age kids such as myself. Now, death in movies was nothing new to me (The Brave Little Toaster, anyone?) but this might have been my first assassination.

The rest of the movie is fun nun-themed hijinks. Lots of singing, a "Mashed Potato" dance scene, and some slight digs at modern-day religion. I loved it then, I like it now. Sort of like Lauryn Hill.

Most Memorable Sister Act Images

1. The assassination, of course.

2. "Hey Alma, check your battery."

3. Whoopi's lounge singer hair.

3 Best Friends: Movies Featuring Colons in the Title

2010-04-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

Rats: Night of Terror

Whitney's choice came all the way from Italy by the way of bad dubbing. Her hard work and YouTube surfing delivered this unknown gem. You see, the pre-colon section of the title lets us know that this movie is about rats. The post-colon section informs us that most of the movie will take place at night and more specifically, a night filled with terror. What's unclear to those who haven't seen it is...are the rats the terrorizers or the terrorized? Is this more like Ben or "Maus?" It's more like Ben. Only there are hundreds of Bens and some humorous (human) sex. Rats has the distinct honor of being the only movie in our marathon that isn't a sequel. And in a surprising twist, a Rats sequel has yet to been made. You'll just have to wait for Rats: There Got to Be a Morning After.

Rambo: First Blood Part II

My choice! Brian at Dear Jesus told me this was the best of the Rambo series and that I had to see it. It's gorier, way over the top, and just about as kick-ass as you can get. That's why I decided to watch it for the first time with whole bunch of people. Everyone piled into my living room and prepared for a grad-level course in vigilantism. The movie starts a little slow but picks up exponentially until the whole thing concludes with a helicopter fight not to be forgotten.

Critters 2: The Main Course

Critters is an underrated horror series. Giant furballs with lots of gnashing teeth. And they're from space. We chose this one to end the night because it was almost guaranteed to be a lot of fun. And it was. I tip my hat to Aaron because he picked my favorite movie of the night. And while Team America: World Police would have been good too, our three picks turned out to make one of the best 3 Best Friends Marathons yet.

2001: A Space Odyssey

2010-04-18T01:59:00.000-07:00

Never having watched 2001: A Space Odyssey was my longest-held cinephile shame. That is, until yesterday's screening. For years, I avoided "Slow Walking on Spaceship Movies" the same way other people avoid "Boat Movies" or "Torture Porn." Solaris was most likely the culprit that began my distaste. Thanks to the 1001 Movies You Must See group, I've righted my greatest wrong.

Despite 2001 being one of the most written about and highest rated sci-fi films of all-time, I knew relatively nothing about it before yesterday. I knew Kubrick directed it and that it didn't star Michael J. Fox even though the poster wants to make you think he is. Going into the film without knowing the details was definitely the way to go. My opinions may have been skewed had I known there was 20-minute acid trip scene and another 20-minute section with men in monkey costumes. Coming in fresh, I was ready for anything and ended up loving everything.

I'll admit, the prelude started pressing my buttons right away but once the visuals arrived, I was hooked. Yes, the movie is long. Yes, the pacing is slow. And yes, the spaceship walking is extremely slow. But as a whole, 2001 was just as good as everyone said it was. It's 3:30AM so this won't be the most technical or thorough review but there are some thoughts that I have to put out there.

When I said that I knew little about 2001, I wasn't exaggerating. I didn't even know what year it was made. Once my wife told me that it came out in 1968, a full nine years before Star Wars, the imagery on-screen became almost unbearably impressive. Stories of ecstatic crowds cheering and applauding when the Star Destroyer flew from overhead have a way of floating around film programs. Star Wars was heralded as sci-fi's savior and a pioneer in visual effects. And while I don't want to take away anything from Star Wars, the visuals and cinematography in this film are, at the least, on par with it's sci-fi successor. It's the type of thing where writing about it may cheapen its impressiveness. I would urge anyone on the fence with this film to do yourself the favor and watch this film. Keep in mind, as Whitney pointed out to me, that it was released before the moon landing.

Naptime: Movies I've Fallen Asleep During

2010-04-17T13:24:00.000-07:00

Inspired by a Jonny and Reed's discussion on their Gene Shalit Power Hour podcast, I decided to create an ever-growing list of Movies I've Fallen Asleep During.

After a traumatic LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring viewing, my friends dragged me watch the second installment completely against my will. The Two Towers slipped me into a deep coma that couldn't even be interrupted by sword fights, dragons, or whatever the hell those movies tried to distract everyone with.

The year was 1999. A friend and I had played N64 long into the night before dragging ourselves to an afternoon screening of Godzilla 2000. For some reason, I don't ever fall asleep during the movies you'd expect. I made it through Emma, A Taste of Cherry, and The Hours but for some reason, a giant lizard destroying downtown Tokyo makes my eyelids heavy.

Not every movienap experience happens at a movie theater. Some happen at home. I once fell asleep during a repeat viewing of Recess: School's Out. I had seen it before so it wasn't a big deal (you don't want to miss the plot details of Recess: School's Out) but when I woke up later, the DVD menu screen was playing. Here's where everything goes terribly wrong. I only slightly woke up, was still too tired to get up, and had no power to turn off the TV. On top of all that, the Recess menu screen is the most ANNOYING menu screen of all-time. Its runtime is about 5 seconds, it plays the beginning of the Recess theme song, and does. not. stop. Worst half hour of my life.

More to come...

10 Movie Facts About Me (Meme)

2010-04-16T12:49:00.000-07:00

I started a meme.

So far, one person has participated.

These are his (my) 10 Movie Facts About Me.

1. I've been quoted in a movie trailer.

2. During my first year working at Hollywood Video, I rented (for free, of course) over 1,000 movies. That means at least three rentals a day, every day.

3. I've met Roger Ebert, Harvey Weinstein, William H. Macy, and a few other celebrities while at film festivals.

4. My favorite movie is The Warriors (1979).

5. My movie collection proudly holds over 1,300 DVDs.

6. I have two tattoos. One of Doug. One of Skeeter.

7. My first movie-going experience was to see The Adventures of Milo and Otis in 1989.

8. My biggest cinephile shame is that I've never seen 2001: A Space Odyssey (although...that will be corrected this weekend).

9. I married a blogger.

10. I've covered Sundance twice for FilmThreat.com

You know how this works. I'll nominate six bloggers. They'll write their own 10 Movie Facts About (Themselves) and link back here. They'll nominate six blogger. Next thing you you, we all know everything about each other.

I nominate:

Whitney @ Dear Jesus

Marshall @ Marshall and the Movies

TJMAC510 @ The Movie Encyclopedia

Fletch @ Blog Cabins

Jonny and Reed @ The Gene Shalit Power Hour

Fandango @ Fandango Groovers Movie Blog

Miraculous Merch: House of the Devil

2010-04-15T14:56:00.000-07:00

ATTN: All Merchandising and Marketing Directors,

when promoting an out-of-the-box film, please market accordingly.

One-sheets, Director's Cut DVDs, and star-studded soundtracks are fine when you're promoting a James Bond movie. But when you've got The House of the Devil on your hands, be smart and cater to your audience. Because when you do, you might come up with an amazing idea like this:

The House of the Devil has been released in a special DVD/VHS combo pack. From the beaten-up packaging (complete with "New Release" rental sticker) to the oversized clamshell, they've spared no expense on this Miraculous Merch.

Available at Amazon.com for 31.49.